i had my regular afternoon walks with my wife today. while we were out, i was able to get some insights.

if life, as bashar says, is meaningless, then i have a negative definition of my present circumstance.

by seeing that i have this negative definition of the present moment, i can easily let go of it. i do not have to change it or put a positive meaning to it. i can render this meaning to neutral just by being aware that i have this definition. and when my definition, the meaning that i give to my present moment is neutral, then it is slightly positive. and that's already a good thing.

everything already exists. if that vision i have of my self as abundant exists right now, then by being aware that i have a negative meaning on my present circumstance, i have shifted into that dimension. by keeping to this new point of view, the reflection, my reality will also change.

i have a lot to be thankful for. i realized that i am living the life i have always dreamed of. i am trading for a living. i have clients in my managed fx business. my family is living in new zealand. i am running my own business. i am able to live my life the way i want it to.

by choosing to focus on what i do not have, by giving a negative meaning to life, then i am not seeing the blessings that i have now.

does this mean i am going to win the lottery tomorrow and be a millionaire? i don't know. but by seeing my life in a different light, it already feels like it.