Here is another Abe dialog on teens.
GUEST: About some uncontrollable teenagers: When it comes to a point where they're doing things that are not coming from your integrity, how do you allow them to live their lives and keep your integrity intact at the same time.
ABRAHAM: By minding your own business.
We certainly understand that, as a mother, you are wanting to guide them -- but we have to say to you that this is what is going wrong with most of society. They're saying, "I have this idea of what's right, and when I focus upon what I believe is right, I have a nice connection with my Core Energy. Uh oh, but I see you're not doing what I need you to do for me to have a connection, so I need you to follow my laws. I need you to believe as I believe, in order for me to be connected." And we say, even if you could be dominant enough in that one's experience in order to control the way he lives, there will always be another who will not be a match for you. And so, what happens is, as an individual, then, you join groups. You say, "We need more influence. We need more power of influence to make them behave. We need to pass laws to make them behave. We need to get punishment to make them behave." And we say to you, "Is it working? Are they behaving?" > What happens, when you want to impose your beliefs on someone else, even if you are right, and we all think we are, don't we? Whenever you want to impose your beliefs on another, and they are not in vibrational harmony with your beliefs, they just find more devious ways to go about what they want to do. In other words, they'll pacify you. They'll pretend that they are minding. They'll pretend that they believe as you do, but they'll continue to vibrate and attract as they are vibrating and attracting.
So, the alternative that we recommend goes more like this. As you see them doing something that you disapprove of, and you feel that contradiction going on inside of you, and you are afraid for them or you are worried about them or you are angry at them, if instead of saying to them, "You must not do that because I can't feel good," instead say to them something like, and feel the match in this, "If I were standing in your physical shoes, I would not be choosing that, but then I'm not the one standing in your physical shoes. And as I worry about you, I recognize that it's from my place of vulnerability that I'm worried about you, so I'm sort of superimposing my vulnerability on you. In reality, I know who you are. I know that all is well for you. I know that I can trust you to do what's right for you. In other words, somewhere, along in here, I just have to back away and allow you to live your life." And then if you have opportunity, and if they are asking, teach them about your Guidance System. Teach them ab but their Guidance System -- but then release them to their own experience. Otherwise, you will drive yourself crazy and them too. Now tell us, if you want to, what's bothering you most. In other words, what is it that they are doing that has you so concerned?
GUEST: Stealing and drugs and not going to school.
ABRAHAM: All right. Now remember earlier when we talked about the Nonphysical Energies that are coming forth. They are coming forth absolutely knowing their freedom. And when they come into a society that's wanting to confine them. That's wanting to send them through the curriculum of school. That's wanting to guide their every thought... These freedom seeking beings are feeling great consternation at that. In other words, to know that you're free but to be observing evidence that you are not. Can you image the tug of war that's going on inside.
Now, they have discovered that the drug eases their sense of this struggle. In other words, when they are smoking or experiencing the drug, they don't feel the contrast so dramatically. Now the drug isn't the answer. All it does is dull their sense of disconnection, but it is at least evidence of their attempt to try to get into a better feeling place. And, of course, the stealing is just a by- product of that. It's just a stronger statement that says, "I want so much to feel better. I'm wanting so much to feel who I really am. And since I can't do it in what I'm observing in this confining, restrictive society that is so anti, so opposed to, who I really am, I take this drug -- and when I take the drug, I don't notice it so much."
As physical beings, you are very creative about the way you fill that void. And what we mean by that is, when you are a vibrational match to your Core Energy, and your Core Energy is flowing through you, you feel confident and secure. You feel good. There's not any void to feel. But if you've been thinking you're not enough, if you've been angry or blameful, if you've been fearful or guilty, if you've been the way the society's has been teaching you to be -- and you are one of these powerful Energy beings -- you're feeling a great contradiction within you, and the drug eases that discomfort.
Imagine a car going down the highway at a hundred miles an hour and the car slams right into a tree which is standing in the middle of the road, causing a big problem. There are two factors involved in the problem. One is the speed of the car. The other is the tree standing there. If this car were only going five miles an hour, even if it hit the tree, it wouldn't matter much, and at five miles an hour, it could go around the tree. Or if the tree were not there at all, the car could go 200 miles an hour or more and not cause any problems. The reason we give you this analogy is because the speed of the car is synonymous with desire. The tree standing in the road is synonymous with contradictory thought to that desire. Those are the doubtful, fearful, mismatching thoughts.
So, these children that you are talking about were born with their car going faster than almost anybody you know. They have desire for freedom. They have desire to live life in a more dramatic way, but society in all of its worrying and in all of its confining has provided for them these trees that they keep banging into. Well, the drug makes it not so painful when they hit the tree.
We notice as we watch society, as we watch physical humans, that you've found many creative ways to fill that void. You buy one more thing and bring it home or you take drugs or you drink alcohol or you eat food. In other words, you're forever trying to find things that soothe that void -- when in reality nothing really does it other than finally connecting to the Non-physical Energy.
So when you say to them, "You're doing something that's very wrong," all you're doing is inflaming. You're just making a bigger tree that they're banging into. When you say, "I trust you and I know that all is well and I know that you are freedom seeking and I know that you are going to find your freedom," then you help to help them lower the resistance.
This issue of drugs is very much overplayed. We agree that it is illegal, and we certainly understand that doing something that is illegal would cause resistance within most of you. If we were standing in your physical shoes, we would step back and try to adhere to a bigger law and that is the law of trying to feel better, the law of trying to find some way in this sort of crazy world of reconnecting with who I really am. Now, rather than condemn their drugs or condemn anything that is helping them to achieve the drugs, which is the same as saying, rather than trying to thwart their attempts to feel better, what you're wanting to do is withdraw your attention from that and focus upon who they really are.
As you focus upon who they really are and you trust that this is a phase that they are moving through and you trust that this is their statement that they are wanting to connect with their pure Energy and you look for things to appreciate about them and you remember who they really are and in your mind you paint scenarios of them living happily ever after and you acknowledge them getting through this and you acknowledge them coming to these decisions on their own -- you will find them, little-by-little, withdrawing from that, because the crevasse between who they really are and who they are being in this moment will be filled with that Energy that you are flowing. In other words, the drug will become less necessary as they find other ways of connecting to their Core Energy.
Now a very powerful rule of thumb is this. Remember that as their mother, or as a stranger who just wants to uplift, your goal is always the same and that is to help them connect with their Core Energy. Because if they were connected to their Core Energy, they wouldn't need the drug. So, here's a powerful statement for you to remember: You can never blame somebody into their connection. You can never find fault of somebody into their connection. You can never demand somebody into their connection. You can never make a > rule somebody into their connection. You can never bomb somebody into their connection. You can never jail somebody into their connection. All of that trying to exclude the part of them that you do not want excludes them from their connection, or your influence relative to that. You appreciate them into their connection. You love them into their connection. You praise them into their connection. You trust them into their connection. You see the best of them into their connection. Which feels better to you? When you appreciate those kids or when you worry about them? So which is a match to who you are? So what you're wanting to do for a while...don' t have this conversation with them. Don't try to teach them anything. Just try to hold them in your mind's eye more in the image that causes you to connect, and we promise you that when in the privacy of your mind, you're loving them and appreciating them and knowing that all is well about them, then any time you focus upon them their receiving some of that, so then they don't feel you as a threat that they have to hide from, they find you a friend that they are willing to confide in. Then they open to you. They talk to you about things. They give you opportunity to guide them. They ask you questions that you can now answer. They don't try to pretend that they are something else because they know you are going to flip out if you really knew what was going on. Everything will be all right here.
Abraham -- G-3/17/96