i once observed a child throwing stones at a pair of ducks.

my body welled up with "no!" and i wanted to put a stop to the act.

however, i allowed it, and did not feel good about that allowance.

and so, i asked bashar about this challenge.

his first reply was "did they duck?"

i laughed and said 'yes, they ducked"

bashar replied; "ah, good, then they were being true to themselves!"

after i stopped laughing i asked bashar about allowing others to cast stones when it does not feel good to observe the casting. this was his reply:

"you are recognizing a vibration that is contrary to your true, natural self. your process is to radiate an example of how else it could be done but without the assumption or expectation that they must follow, because, only through unconditional allowance do you actually give them the best opportunity to change their behavior."
Wife, last night, disclosed that her boss is not happy with the work that she is doing. That she will have to talk with HR sometime soon this week.

I took this news as bad news. That was my initial reaction. But through the night, I shifted myself. This circumstance has no meaning. It is neutral. It can be good or bad, depending on how I choose to see it. I saw that I was putting a negative meaning to it initially. That's not how I prefer things to be.

Here's what I get from this:

This situation is synchronicity I play poker and am playing well. I see this as something that I enjoy doing. this is something that I enjoy doing, and at the same time, make money out of it. I wanted to show my wife that I can make money out of it, but to explain this to her, I don't think she will see it as a regular job that people should be doing.

So I don't have to tell her about it. I'd continue doing this. I'll continue following my highest excitement--without expectation. This saturday, I am attending that free poker tournament in albany. I don't know how things will work out. That's the beauty of it. The paradox. These days, I'd choose something which I don't know how things are going to turn out than to choose something that I know how it will turn out.

Like playing poker over getting a regular job. I know how it will be when I get a job. I've been down that road before. I don't like it. I never lasted in one job for more than a year. I have a better time doing what excites me. There was a time in my life when that's what I just did. Aikido.

I took up aikdio not knowing how I will be able to pay for the monthly fees. Turns out, the teacher let me lead class, promoting me to a higher level to do so. Then he let me handle one of his dojos, and I made a small income out of it. Small, but enough to get by. I made friends along the way.

Still following my excitement, I became a stockbroker (something I really wanted to do) and made a lot of money from it that I was able to get my little brother to work there too and he too made money.

I met my wife through aikido. We were good friends. I enjoyed spending time with her. A lot. We enjoyed doing the same things, together with out friends, or just the two of us. We got married and now we have four wonderful kids.

And now we live in New Zealand. Something I did not expect to happen soon, but it did, in a grand way.

Now the universe just opened a new door. This is part of the synchronicity. I don't know what's going to happen enxt. I don't want to put expectations on it. I'm giong to just let this be and see what happens.