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8.21am

wifegon upset with something i said last night. It was out of place, but it was an expression of who I am. If she wants to keep at it, so be it. I m moving on. I woke up much later this morning. It was seven when I got up. It felt good. I had a good run last night. I am glad that I took the time to run. I will do more of those decisions it the future.

I like this music that is playing. Again, I am remitded of the path that I am. Explorations with more from less. Not that they are different. They are different sides of the same coin. Simply be in the state of beitg that I prefer. Choose. I always have a choice as to which state of being that I want to be in. That there is always opportunity. And finally, everything is synchronicity.

It is easy to feel good when you always get what you want. I can choose to feel good just being in the moment. Thank you. That was an insight. I get those all the time. Looking back, I am reminded of this fact. The wife? I can't tell her what to be. I love her unconditionally. I respect her choices. They are not mine and sometimes not what I prefer, but that is the other side of the same coin.

So I write. I play poker in a short while. I feel like it's my job to make wife happy. It is not. My job isto make myself happy, not anyone else. So I keep myself in that light. This is where my practice is. Let it be.

I m improving with my writing. I practice everyday at least once. I give this time. Eventually, I willfind myself in another process. Always evolving.

dvorak

i made the switch to using the dvorak keyboard layout today, I am typing so much slower now, I am going to put in time to practicing with this in the coming days, I am allocating twenty minutes everyday to doing this, just like what I did with morning pages.

Man, this is slow typing. I will get used to this over time. Small price to pay for efficiency in the long term, The lawn service guys were here a few minutes ago. They have gone now. I am doing my morning pages, not as easy as I thought it would be but I will get used to this, Over time, Maybe do this for a month and I will be better than my old typing speed,

After this, I play poker. The punctuations are foreign to me. When the ego takes over, things slow down. Just practice. Keep writing. Practice each day... I will get there. The left hand will get used with the load it has been given. What else do I write about? I don't know. Just keep fingers moving and things will get easier. What is making it hard for me is comparing now to how I used to type. That's ok. I feel like a robot. Time's up!

thursday

I have been experiencing a lot of resistance lately. My poker business isn't happening as expected. That tells me there is expectation there instead of allowing things to simply be. At the moment, I feel like I am trying to make things happen. I see that. Maybe that's why these things are here. They serve as a reflection telling me where, or who I am.

Not that I will change these things, but I will allow them to be, and in the process, change myself and shift into that parallel earth where I am more of who I am.

This is why I write. These come out. I see them in front of me.

I have also been following my interests lately. I can't say they are exciting, but something that piques my curiosity. One of which is that I installed linux ubuntu on my pc as a dual boot. The pc, after I press power on, will boot up ubuntu first by default. If I wanted to play poker, I select windows vista to boot up. The poker software that I am using in my business rely on the aero theme of windows vista. This is not available in linux at the moment.

I don't know where this interest will lead to. No need for me to see further down the road. The process is for me to be in the moment and be more of who I am.

I feel like I don't have to listen to bashar mp3's anymore. I feel like the tools they gave, I am aware of, using them and are inside of me. When I find my self out of alignment, upset and in resistance, I am able to apply the tools. Listening to them feels like it's getting me out of the moment, so it's best for me to just be.

PC needs a restart.