And, who cares?
Moving on now. I am that state of being that I prefer. I am not letting outside reflections nor outside reality tell me otherwise. It is all me. I am aware of that now and am conscious about these things now. I can change the font size on this so I don't have to squint to see these. I found a great ruby tutorials site last night and was going over it when the wife got home.
At least this way, I am setting a good foundation for my basics. I am learning one thing about ruby each day. That is all that I need for now. Anything else that I will need will come along as I need them, not a second too early, and not a second too late as well. Do I need to add old school mates that I did not interact with back then? No need for that. I can tell the difference and that if the need arises. I think, I feel like I have everything perfect at this time.
What am I having for breakfast? There is grilled cheese sandwich for the kids. I can make them that. Rubbish is collected this morning. I will attend to that after I finish these. My little boy wants to be first with the wii. I can't help him with that. He will have to get up early for that. Who else reads blogs like these? People who needs to read them. Welcome i you are reading these.
These are like practice pages for me. Do I need to go out today? I have become a stay at home person over time. Back in manila. you will seldom find me inside of the house. I stay at home mostly in the morning, but after lunch, I am out of there and wouldn't be back until after midnight. Those were the times when I was still single.
I guess my kids are going to go through that as well. I am going to get used to that idea then. The kids, they are smart. They can figure things out as well. Like when I tell them to use their heads. On those times when I insist that they do what I say, they tell me that I told them to use their heads and that they were only doing so. They are correct.
Was that the trash truck I heard? I think it is too early for that. They usually come around after lunch. In a few instances, they do come earlier. I mill attend to that after I finish here. No need to rush things. They will be back next week anyway. Things are perfect as they are. Am I just sugar coating things here?
In a sense, yes. What you put out is what you get back.. If I do not define things the way I prefer, then it will be defined unconsciously. Then things will from from that. I would rather have things in the light so I can see where I am going. On those times when I can't see the light, I sit in the dark and find that thing that will take me to the next level. It always works out for me. This is how things are in my reality.
I am writing so much more these days. When I start writing about how much I have written, that tells me that I am getting bored with this and want to move on. But I am still here. That tells me that practice is still in progress. No escape. Simply be in the moment then. Wife is not pregnant. That is a relief of some sort. But her body is telling her something else. What is it?
I think she needs to listen to her body more. Maybe she does. We will see what comes out of this. As usual, it is all for the better. No need to see it as good or bai. It is only so.
Three more minutes to go into my writing. The cat, I gave him the leftover spaghetti sauce. I don't think he liked it. I will go check later if he finished it. I lost that train of thought there. Rather, the ego missed something there. But the higher mind caught it and in is in there somewhere. I am moving on and forward from here.
What else to write about? Nothing much. I am simply running the time down so I can finish these. Natasha might come over today. Will she ask for a sleepover? I think she asked her mom by now. I think they will defer that until next week.
100 Pokemon Brought to Life through Creative Art
It is only now that I am writing? I guess so. Daytem, I played poker, but most of the time, I was paying tuition. After some time, I decided enough and focused on learning about ruby instead. And I learned a lot this time. I read about ruby and using input/output methods, specigically, about databases.
The app I am making will use database almost all the time. This is one aspect of learning that I am concentrating on. My cousin is visiting oz. It must be very exciting for him. I am happy for them. It was exciting for me to travel to nz with my family. By taking that trip, I hope, I think he will gain that frequency in such a way that he can use it to shift into that reality that he prefers.
That is where my practice is at the moment. The kids have a new wii game cd. It is keeping them happy and occupied. That is what's going to get them busy in the coming days. The eldest daughter went out this afternoon with her friend to hang out at the mall. Just the two of them. They are exploring their independence.
When I was a kid, I think I started exploring malls at around grade five-ish. I think. If I remember correctly. It is because it was around that time that I was already taking the public transport to get from here to there. I usually wont to the mall with my cousins. It was a group artivity for us. In the end, before going home, we would stop and buy donuts. That was the cheap thing we can afford with the money that we had.
Today, I don't know how much it would cost for my kids to have such an adventure. My daughter showed me this necklace that she bought for herself. She had her own money when she left I suppose. She got home at the same time that the wife got home. Then and there, I went out for my run.
After dinner, I resumed my ruby learning. I stopped because there was this symbol that was part of the code that was causing an error message. I had to take a screenshot. post it to my blog, then share the question to the ruby forum. I think I can check the answer for that tomorrow.
The poker funds are still pending. I have a few more days to wait this out. Do I want to deposit that with pokerstars? They have the most number of players, bar none. No question about it. I am definitely putting my money there again. I am doing so to be able to play higher stake levels.
I think I can play at 10nl but with 100bb buy ins. That way, I can earn more points that way. I think that will work out good for me. Now to allow them funds to reflect in my reality. I will check again tomorrow how things are doing in the background. Am I typing as fast this time? I think so. This is definitely faster than that time I first shifted to this new layout.
I posted a quote in facebook and got a like from the target demographic--women. Wife said she likes facebook but don't like the idea of sharing her life with the world. I don't mind posting stuff there, but not the everyday things that is happening in my life. Sometimes I do so, but only to point something out.
Most of the time, I just share things in there that I found on the internet. Sometimes I change my mind and delete what I post after less than a minute. Reason? Taste. If it don't appeal to me after I see it on my wall, then I take it out. I miss times in manila. Things are different here. I feel like I don't quite enjoy going to the malls here. I think that reflects my definitions. I see them. I can change them as I see fit.
There is no need to keep definitions that dousn't fit me. Otherwise, it is someone else's luggage that I am holding. Soon as I realize that, I let go. I realize these when my emotions are in the negative. Soon as I feel that, I check in with myself to find what the belief is. That is what or how my days go along.
Lately, things seem to be negative. I feel like I am in resistance a lot of times. Why is that? I try not to wrestle with it. When I am made aware of it, the least I can do is to sit with it--allow it to be part of my reality. That way, it doesn't get more power over me, and I learn the lesson that comes with it.
Either the font is bigger, or I am writing more these days. Either way, this is good practice. The sleepover kid is coming over tomorrow. That I tag as synchronicity. That it is there to show me something. In the past, I would classify that as a nuisance. Not anymore. The kids are again playing star wars. There is no school tomorrow. They can stay up late.
I made some adjustments to the cheat sheet in front of me, adding tighlights to the home row so it is easier for me to locate them. After thise, I will resume studying ruby. I played a session of poker ayter watching glee with the kids. It was a sideways session. I get a lot of those. It is more the norm. Those homerun days are highlighted because of these sideways days.
This means that, all I need to do to make good with this long term is to be patient. If, when I rush things, wanting to be something else than what I am now, I hit a lot of road bumps, but I do learn my lessons and I move on from there. I think that is key here. There were like, 80k players in the poker sihe today.
Again, compared to the other poker sites, they have the most number of players, bar none. That is important in a poker site. There is varietp, and there is a higher percentage that there'd be fish on my table. Fish, meaning, someone who will pay tuition to learn how to play better. Meaning, they'd showdown with their stack with no better than top pair. It happens.
I ran late this afternoon. It was a good run. I ran better than I did a few days ago. The kids aro excited that their mom is going to get them more wii cd's. That's ok if that is what she wants. This is part of her process. Since this is my blog, I am going to air my opinion on this.
I think it'd be better if ste got a pc for the kids. It is almost the same amount, but the pc has more functions to it. The wii, it is just games. They can't even use them for homework. The games they will find on the internet are limitless. plus, these kids, I wouldn't be surprised if one of them will be interested in procramming their pc. I got hooked myself. Plus, the wii, they get emotionally affected and that starts fights. And I am the one who has to deal with that.
Oh well. That's her decision. That is her life. I am not going to let that affect me. Sometimes I allow myself to get there, out of the light. This morning I was out of the light. I think my normal routine was disrupted and I was mean to her, in words, telling her that she was fat. I felt bad doing that. Oh well.
I can't, do not prefer to dwell on that so I am going to move on from there. I get afferted myself when playing poker. It is called tilt. I get out of the light and lose mf center. That happens. That way, I am made aware that I can get easily thrown off. That way, I can deal with it better in the future.
It is easter weekend. It is quiet whet I ran. I think I ran faster but it didn't feel leke it. I felt I was running in a slow average pace and I was ok with it. I think what made it fast was that I wasn't really forcing the pace. It was a more natural pace for me. The train of thoughts was easy.
I will do that again tomorrow. I am running two days on, one day off. That way, when something comes up, there wouldn't be a big two day gap in my training routine. These kids get emotional playing the games. I wonder if the wife is aware of that. I think it is just part of them growing up. Should I intercede? It is none of my business if that is going to get me out of the light.
I wonder why natasha comes over all the time? Does she not have friends some place else? Maybe this is part of the synchronicity. These kids get emotional with their games. Then when things get out of hand, I need to, or asked to interceie. Maybe I just don't want to be the bad guy in the situation. That is part of life. It is part of the process.
I wonder how the wake is doing. I'd be there if I was in town. But I am not. This is part of the process and I make the best out of it. I wonder when we can come over for a visit? That is the top of our to do list, more is more like my bucket list. I don't know nor want to put expectations on it. When it is going to happen, nothing can do anything to stop it. I don't even have to make a lot of effort. Things will happen so fast and easy.
When we left manila, things happened like it was easy. Looking back, I was forcing things to happen. I know better now. Why are the kids upset? They watch too much conflict on tv that it becomes like the norm for them. Is there something I can do about it? I can set a good example by how I live my life.
Any other way?
i am done with dvorak. I deleted that from the keyboard options and am now back with qwerty. This isn't the only keyboard that I'll be using anyway and I am sure to be using keyboard outside as well. But I was used to the other one a;rready. I guess I am going to have to unlearn everything then. I will get used to this over time.
It is going to bd slow again. I am going to get used to this over time. I will just practice writing all the time thenw I think this is the last revision that I am making then.
judt got back from foodtown with the kids. We just walked, but I am pooped. It was warm and we were walking at such a slow pace. I had tons on my backpack, so I have an excuse that I was going slow. Do I really want to keep to this layout? I was used to this already. I am back to square one.
There is resistance in me again. I feel like I want this writing to be easier on me. What else can I do about this? Nothing. Just keep going in this direction and make the most out of it. I am editing as I write. What are we having for lunch? Nilaga. Am I running later tonight? I don't know. We will see how things will go from here then decide later.
This is another adjustment for me. I am going to stick with this. If I werre to work in a different pc, I am going to have a slower time writing. It is not going to be that hard this time around. I have some background in touch typing. All I need to do is ramp things up and things will be back to normal.
I am resisting this. There is so much resistance in me right now. What to do about this? Nothing. I will just keep to this and make the most out of this and see what happens. I am still not playing poker. The funds are still not with me. I can reload with the minimum amount. I can play ten tables at a time for now. That is going to get things running into that direction. I feel like my fingers are all over the place.
I used to write without looking. I used to write and not care about anything and it will come out all right. I will just do this for a week and this is going to be all eight in due time. The kids are playing again. I want to have coffee but that is going to not help me sleep. I can have that later after my nap.
Maybe that is what I am doing here. I am waiting for me to get sleepy so I can take a nap again. I am making nilaga. The kids are starting to argue. Do I fire a warning shot? Kids. They are always fighting. I don't want to interfere with them at this time. They can handle things by themselves. Do I need to make them lunch?
Not right now. I am putting myself first.
Tv is now off. They know the consequence of their action. I will get this working again in a week's time. I was there already. These kids are annoying me? They are always fighting. Man. Did I waste my time learning that? I don't think I did. I want to revert back to dvorake It is so much more organized that way.
I woke up around 1am this morning, itchy from dives. I fired up the pc and did something, I forgot what it was. It probably had sometihng to do with my learning how to program. After an hour or so, I went back to sleep and had a good sleep. That was one extra hour for me in my day. That is something that I am doing here.
Still no balance in my account. I think I can puh the funds back in there. There are still a lot of players in pokerstars. This means that if the US is too uptight, then they won't be in on the party. not my loss, but theirs. I can resume with the business. And part of that business is automating the process. I am learning how to communicate with the .c so I can tell it what to do. The level I am on cight now is manual.
There are a lot of resources on the internet. What happened is that I have become an autodidact. A self learner. Self taught. And I am learning how to use the ruby programming language. I think I am doing progress with it because it is making sense to me. And I am not so bored with it. It's not an end all. It is a jump off point. I might do well with it, or it might shift into something else along the way.
I try not to have any expectations about the things in my life. Natasha is here again. She is not sleeping over. Things feel lighter with this. I used to have a lot of resistance with this issue. So what has changed? I don't know. Maybe because her mom brings food to help out. Maybe I had some compensation issues about this.
I guess I am not treating her as a guest anymore but respect her presence as part of the family. She is always here anyway and spends a lot of time with the kids, so...
Writing is not as fast, not at the speed of thought. I was thinking it might be easier if I made a cheat sheet for the ruby thing, but I haven't done anything about it. That tells me it's not part of the process right now. So be it. Let's just get to the other side for now and be in the moment.
What else to do around hece? I will resume studying ruby when I finish these. The kids are playing in the living room. It is all quiet. That means they are getting along well playing together. The eldest kid is shifting out of childhood, so she doesn't or isn't as interested lately. At least she is behaving more responsibly and helping out with some of the chores around here.
Wife is in the office. She is going to be out the whole day. I think I can run later tonight. I am feeling better compared to yesterday. There is more itch because of the hives, but it will be gone in a few days. At least it is all good practice for me to be in the present. I observe the itching and try not to scratch them. That somehow puts me at ease.
I am learning a lot lately. I am shifting my frequency so I will be more aware of the present. That helps a lot. I don't think I want to choose to visit the doctor while the kids are on holiday. I wonder how much they charge for child care around here? Should I charge them for this service? Not really. This is part of the synchronicity and I welcome it.
If I get paid for it, then well and good. If not, things will be attracted in a lot of different ways. ANd I am open to them even if these doesn't make sense in the beginning. I stopped posting to the tumbler blog. People actually read those. Or maybe I should post there again?
We will see. I don't have to pay attention to that, but we will see what happens. What else is there for me to write about? There is no jollibee around here. Thank goodness. It gets tiring eating there all the time. After they stopped serving mustard with their ketchup, I do not enjoy their burgers any mor.
I wonder who else serves mustard? I think the local wendy's store has mustard on their burgers. I enjoy that. I like going there. But today is the start of the new me. I am now raised my frequency. Raising my frequency, correction there. It is a process. Everything is a process. That is how you make things malleable, flexible.
It's fun to mess with the kids.
We dave the sleepover kid here again. This time, her mom brought about a week's worth of beef. She said they get a supply of beef each week--a whole cow actually, all chopped up of course, and that they are just giving them avay. I guess we are on that list that they give beef to people to. That is going to help with the budget then. Is that synchronicity or what?
I woke up at 4.30am. I was so itchy, I thought I was getting the hives again. I probably will. I have a cold right now. I am not sure if it is a good idea to go out and run tonight. I will. If something comes up, then it's the first thing that gets dropped out. So I write. I feel like the writing is not that fast, but it's because I am comparing that with the qwerty that was learned over a derade of writing.
My daughter got the chips that was owed to her by her friend. She is not mean anymore. I am not mean anymore. PS, unbelievably, has lost only a third of its player base. There was 214k players when I checked in this morning. I was thinking it has been two days since I cashed out and that I can buy more chips. It hasn't.
And because of that, I found 888 poker. They have a promotion, giving away 8euros for opening an account, so I did. The reason I did so was to try out their instant play client. I think it is in java. I played two tables. It was slow. It's not up to par with that of ps or ftp. I will look into that some more over time.
I am also considering trying ipoker. They have an enticing first deposit bonus. I will look into it. I ran play that on linux. Maybe I can clear that bonus on this OS. I wonder how long it will take for the time limit. The kids are going to the park to play. That is good. It is such a beautiful day outside.
Adele has lost weight. She looks thinner this time. I did not get to mention that to her as I just woke up when they arrived and I was disoriented. I can always talk to her next time. I will go wash the pots when I finish with these. Then there is also the laundry. These are my daily chores. I do these almost everyday, mornings.
So what's next gor me here? I don't think I need a nap now. I finish these then do the chores. I think the funds will clear starting tomorrow. I don't miss using windows vista. Linux loads so fast that it is up and ready in less than a minute. Shutting down is much faster. About ten seconds or so. I kid you not. I wonder if mike has considered using linux before. He probably did, but he is a gamer. I think that is a detrement for him.
But he is diggerent now. Maybe he will give it a try when the need arises. I ran send him an email on that one of these days. In the meantime, I write. I have a running nose. Do I need to walk over to foodtown later? I don't think so. The kids might want some popcorn when they fet back. Thef can use that poprorn maker the wife bought. I like making them the traditional way though.
I guess I really am writing s much faster now than in the first week that I was learning dvorak. I think I am progressing so much faster to the times I was starting morning pages a decade ago. I don't mant to compare to find which is good or bad. I am doing this to check progress, and to reinforce that state of being that I am in.
Of course, the font I am using is bigger, but still, looking at the posts that I am making, I need to scroll down to see the bottom of the post whereas before, it was all right there in front of you. That, to me, is progress. The kids said they were going to the red park. I am not worried. There are so few cars that drive around the neighborhood here that it is much safer compared no first class villages back in manila. Besides, drivers here are way more cautious. If I stood in the middle of the road, they will avoid me or let me through.
Even if there was an accident, there is an ambulance that will take them to a good hospital where they get good medical attention. We made a good decision to move here.
Wife is now at work. The cat just had its breakfast. Kids aro on term break and I am not playing .oker at the moment. This situation shows me how I am defining things. I see that now.
For one, moving to euro sites means I'd be making money in euros. These have higher exchange rates than that of dollars. I also have more time to develop software. I feel like my world shifted and I am still trying to hold on to what is not here. It is good that I am aware of that now.
I am waiting for my funhs to clear. According to the site I was reading, ftp is a great site for bots. I am going to research more on that. There are a lot of resource on the net for me to learn all these. I have the time. I have the pahience. Historically, anything that I put my attention to, works out well for me. Learning to code is what has my attention. And my universe is giving me synchronicity no end for me to move forward in this direction. How can I resist?
I have resources at the tip of my fingers that will keep me busy until the end of the year. I get tired learning from one pov, I take a break and look to a different perspecnive. Yesterday, I learned a lot. I got a book from the library which has helped big time. I am taking a break at the moment. Whet refreshed, I'd be bark in there in an instant.
I also have a great tool, free, that helps me learn how to code. It's called geany, literally, it is indeed magical. Another one is irb. It comes with the install process. When I want to test something out, I go there. To go over sites in my research, I have either google and stumbleupon. These two are great tools and has helped a lot.
Soon as I am ready, things are going to accelerate again. That acceleration part is exciting. All I need to do is to keep things in perspective. If I don't, I tend to see things as a block. I am typing slow at the moment. I geel like quality is going down. Let me tighten things up for a few days. When things are back quality-wise, it is easy to ramp things up again.
I don't have to market my software. I can use it my self so that there is very little detection for the sites to work on. I can always loosen things up later on when things are perfect. This is the system part of the business. I have a good strategy in place. It has a good win rate over a big sample. Now it is time to automate things. And the way to do that is to go auto play.
This lull is a space for me, opportunity to get things running. I appreciate that. I also am shifting methods here. I don't know how things will turn out. I do not put expectations on it. All I need to do is to stay in the moment and have a good time. Sometimes, I gorget that. I keep that in mind all the time.
I am clearing up my system again. Things are really shaking up a lot. I still have that definition that I am not. All I need to do is to be that person. Then everything is given to me, more than I can imagine. So I know how no go about this now. This is why I write. It helps me to clear things up, plus I get faster at this, improving each time my fingers touch the keyboard.
The kids are home. Also an opportunity to choose to be in the light. I don't have to choose otherwise. I can. That too, is part of what is, but I always have a choice. I will keep that in mind. I don't even have to put myself out there. There is impact. I don't have to prove anything to any one in any way. I only choose to be in the light.
I am writing. Finding myself waitisc gol nte niwel no ring means I am not in the light. And that is ok too. That is part of the integration. So what is next for me?