Pages

The best Linux distro of 2011! | TuxRadar Linux

i am experiencing a lot of anxiety again. waiting for my breakfast. three pieces of chicken. i guess this is the contrast. and i am learning how to stay in the light. that of the state of bieng that i prefer. i am not happy with the new ubuntu upgrades. why can't they just stick with what works? because they want more user base. i am seriously considering debian. it is based in that os and according to this study, it is one of the best out there. i just want something that works and will work without too much problems.

i like the 11.04natty narwhale. i can configure it and there was support for a lot of the things that i need. now this ocelot came out and it shook everything out. i am shaken and i had to spend a lot of time configuring it. at least this moved me into this direction. i am also considering marketing in the real world. no more odesk for me. to get paid i will go with the credit card or use bank transfers. that be an easy way to do this.

to market, i will spam emails. will that get attention? i don't know. do i need to network? i can only if it feels good. i am so anxious right now. how to let go of this? i write. i write so it comes out in the open. no need for me to fix this. i just write what comes to my head. i don't have to un anxious myself. i use this energy up. this is why the energy is here. there is so much contrast happening in my life right now.

i am also thinking of chnaging the os for my kids pc. it is slow with the ubuntu natty but i need that still. or i change mine to win7. but then that will open up a can of worms. first, virus. i will have to deal with that too. then i will have to download and install a lot of stuff. this is the path of least resistance. do nothing. i will resume web2py. there is a lot of contrast. i am finding web2py easier to understand than django.

i am going to stick with this. it feels lighter to learn web2py. i am going to stick with that. when things get too technical, i lose attention and start doing a lot of other things. that's ok. this is part of the equation. i can remove the bookmarks that serve no purpose or reclassify them someplace else. i can always look them up somewhere later.

and who is that website that awarded web2py? i think web2py is a serious contender for django. the mailing list is so active. yesterday there was double the number of messages in web2py than in django. is that a sign that one is better? no only that there was a lot more messages yesterday. what about python3? that's not a problem for me now. what i want is to finish that tutorial. like i did with that django tutorial. there are not a lot of books out there for web2py. that's ok. there's a lot of resources on the internet to help me learn.

there is the mailing list. that is the main. then there is stackoverflow. there is also the documentation. i remember running web2py and getting into admin on fluxflex. i just hope they are reliable. it worked for a week, then the wordpress site stopped showing up. i will play with it some more. dotcloud, it is running ok. it gets slow at times. i am not seriously going to move my marketing blog over there. it is going to stay with blogger for now.

after i finish this blog, i will surf until it is time for my breakfast. i am wondering if the lawn mower is coming today. i can walk to the bank and get money if they are coming. i am waiting for their text to get money. otherwise, they will come next week. no problem with that. i can reply that i'd get money. if i am not home, i will leave that in the mailbox.

anyway. i don't want to have to be anxious with that. i will do yoga then run later tonight. i will run everyday until i am not able to run. then that will be my rest day. i will pay attention to that. being in the light, going for the excitement, or being in the light and practice integrity. there is not much else. if things get too anxious, i will stop doing that which causes it and point downstream.

the reason is that the brain doesn't grasp where things are headed now. i am learning all this. this is uncovering. it is already there. no need to learn anything or get from the outside. just allow things to happen. things will go as a reflection. today is day two. it was a pretty easy day one yesterday. not a lot of issues. i can make it a week.

i am not sure i want to go in the direction of that other one. i can post comments now and then. i can write something, an article or so about running startups. i think it will be good that it is there. there is plenty to learn from the folks around here. how to share from that thread? i don't know yet. there's a lot of things for me to do. no need to rush. just deal with comes up in front. choose the light. point downstream. choose the path of least resistance. the one that feels better for me. there is where the practice is each day.

weird dream last night.

The best Linux distro of 2011! | TuxRadar Linux

point downstream day


I had a spat with my wife last night.

I am not going to work today, choosing instead to take care of myself, give myself a hug whenever I need one --or hug my kids. I'd rather choose things that point downstream: play, bum around the house, take walks, yoga.

I'll keep doing this until I get the urge to go back to work.

contrast

I am going through contrast right now. I did not pass eligibility for publicly funded healthcare and now I am going to have to settle the NZ$2000 hospital bill.

I don't really mind paying so, and am actually relieved that the decision came out. This way, I do not have to get anxious about it. I just feel down because I was hoping I did not have to do the installments. The payment is spread out over a period of two years. It's not going to be a burden after all.

It's not what I wanted, not what I prefer, but this is here. synchronicity then is telling me that this is something I need to go through. What am I getting out of it?

This circumstance gives me a reason to spend more time with the online business I started a while ago. It's a consultancy business that helps startups with their social media communications. I enjoy the creative part of the work, which is writing.

The local mind is running around in circles trying to figure out how am I going to pay for it. When I catch myself doing so, I observe it. This circumstance has given me the opportunity to work through anxiety. If I stay in this light, in this awareness, then I will attract the abundance. If I choose to be anxious about it, then life becomes difficult. I am given a choice. This is what the contrast is about. Black and white. Which do you prefer?

I am going to allow this in my life right now. I know someday I am going to look back and see why this happened and how it fits in with the overall picture.

terrorists?

Why are people so concerned with reality tv when there are terrorists trying to sneak into our country?
Why are some people so concerned with terrorists sneaking into the country when there's a great show on tv right now?

source -- yahoo answers

Give one reason how God is more plausible than the universe spontaneously creating itself out of nothing? - Yahoo! Answers

Give one reason how God is more plausible than the universe spontaneously creating itself out of nothing?
As unlikely as an entire universe spontaneously creating itself out of nothing, it seems more unlikely that a conscious being who has always existed was so powerful that he created an entire universe. Why would there be this being instead of nothing? Explain your thought process for how God is the most likely solution to reality outside our universe (and the beginning of it).

When 'God' is aware that he is God, where did this awareness come from?

my reply -- Give one reason how God is more plausible than the universe spontaneously creating itself out of nothing? - Yahoo! Answers

new direction

Instead of starting a new blog, I decided to rehash this one and use this going towards a new direction -- questions and answers.

I don't know how it is going to unfold. All I know is that there are a lot of questions out there, and I have answers from my perspective. Let the fun begin.

Beautiful Photos by Rosie Hardy

Beautiful Photos by Rosie Hardy

I am not enjoying writing copy. there is conflict where the client wants this and i don't want to do it that way and want to do it my way. i think i am going to do something else for now. like what? look for easier work where i don't have to conflict with them. i can do basic html work now and then or those i can handle. the django is there and it is ready and i can do that. what needs working here is the practice.

so, do i just cancel the other one? i think i can do that. i can cancel then send refund. or do i get back to working on that again? i will leave it at that for now. then i will do something else altogether. i don't want to write copy. there is subjective work. i want to do things this way and they want to do it that way. with coding, i am more the expert. or is it? i can look into that. i can look for clients that i can work with. i will go for easier work where i don't have to conflict with them. this is what it is like to work for someone else. i am opinionated and know what it is i want done.

so how am i going to go from here? just be in the moment and do what i think is right. what else. i dont know. get breakfast. i am getting hungry already. the kids are home and i am going to make them breakfast. i made good with the grocery yesterday and was able to get the needs and still had a few dollars left over from budget. we are going grocery in albany mall from hereon. it is closer to where jona now lives. so be it. it's a change in circumstance reflecting what is happening on the inside. i have decided to stop playing poker. i am now concentrating on odesk. but with that i am also shifting. i am not offering copywriting anymore. too much conflict in there where i want to do things my way.

so how am i going to do this? just do what makes me happy, do what i think is right. there is going to be an audience for that. no need to force myself into what i do not want. forcing a square peg in a round hole will not fit and will only break one or the other. i am getting hungry now. what else is there for me to do? wife is not going to ask to be driven to work. i can spend more time here. i can do yoga later. i am running later this afternoon. and then what? i will do something else instead. i am watching my daughter's stumble. some of it is funny, while some aren't.

i stopped timing my writing. i write and when it reaches the bottom of this page, i stop. that is where practice is right now. i appreciate my own work and don't have to force it on anyone else. i am showing my kids that i can make something out of this, but i do not have to prove anything. only that i follow my joy with no expectations. i had a gift last night. that i was showed something magical. when i woke up, i realized i should pick projects that interest me and not be concerned about pay. i like that. i build up the joy list that way. work with what i want. no need to work for money. that will follow as a reflection of who i am. it is not the other way around.

so do i need a new profile then? i think so.i think i will cancel the contract, refund the client, then take things from there. if they give negative feedback, so be it. this is a learning experience for me. i will take it from there. i can work with that other profile and go from there. i think the nowopen account has my original paypal account connected. i can do that and make things happen. from here on, that is how things are going to happen.

i am also learning gimp. i like that interview about this guy doing great photo manipulation work. i was inspired by his work that i am doing the same. i am learning one new thing with gimp. i am also learning one new thing with python and programming. i am also learning one new thing with html. all this is going to come together and i can make something great in the garden. so now, where do we go?

only that i get to the other side. i wonder if wife is going to take the kids to church. i can stay home with whomever is going to stay at home. do i need a new girlfriend/ i miss that. getting after a girlfriend, getting that new energy experience. why can't it be that way? i don't know. i am setting m own limitations here. i can do something else instead. like what? follow on that light. follow the light. is this what the three kings did? there is significance there. followed the light and they found what?

their own godliness. not that they found jesus. that doesn't make sense there. i think it is in there but the local mind can't grasp it at this time. so i am going to allow it like that and see what happens from here. i can do that series of photos message. it gets attention. i can use that. it is like gimmick? publicity. i am done with that. how am i going to go from here? i don't know yet. just get to the other side and see what happens. i am going to finish these pages then i am going to get on with the day. the kids are almost all awake. it has been a rainy weekend. this is spring.

vian is going to school tomorrow. all of them are. i am going to the doctor tomorrow. i think i can arrange something there to get things running there. what else is there to do around here. just finish writing, post these and get to the other side. there are a lot of things that can be done. the kids get bored and they go online and see what is interesting. they are like more after finding what is funny. at least this daughter here is doing that.

what am i going to do today? i think we can have spaghetti for dinner. or maybe lunch. or something in between. wife gets home late. i think we can have that spaghetti for dinner. i like that too. i can have day one tomorrow if i wanted to. i am waiting for that schedule. i am always in waiting. that is reacting to the reflection. be in that state of being. being. allowing. that is where practice is all the time. this is the last line. thank you for coming. i am going to see you again tomorrow. if i write. i think i will. this is part of the daily practice. i am going to take a break now. bye!