Beautiful Photos by Rosie Hardy
I am not enjoying writing copy. there is conflict where the client wants this and i don't want to do it that way and want to do it my way. i think i am going to do something else for now. like what? look for easier work where i don't have to conflict with them. i can do basic html work now and then or those i can handle. the django is there and it is ready and i can do that. what needs working here is the practice.
so, do i just cancel the other one? i think i can do that. i can cancel then send refund. or do i get back to working on that again? i will leave it at that for now. then i will do something else altogether. i don't want to write copy. there is subjective work. i want to do things this way and they want to do it that way. with coding, i am more the expert. or is it? i can look into that. i can look for clients that i can work with. i will go for easier work where i don't have to conflict with them. this is what it is like to work for someone else. i am opinionated and know what it is i want done.
so how am i going to go from here? just be in the moment and do what i think is right. what else. i dont know. get breakfast. i am getting hungry already. the kids are home and i am going to make them breakfast. i made good with the grocery yesterday and was able to get the needs and still had a few dollars left over from budget. we are going grocery in albany mall from hereon. it is closer to where jona now lives. so be it. it's a change in circumstance reflecting what is happening on the inside. i have decided to stop playing poker. i am now concentrating on odesk. but with that i am also shifting. i am not offering copywriting anymore. too much conflict in there where i want to do things my way.
so how am i going to do this? just do what makes me happy, do what i think is right. there is going to be an audience for that. no need to force myself into what i do not want. forcing a square peg in a round hole will not fit and will only break one or the other. i am getting hungry now. what else is there for me to do? wife is not going to ask to be driven to work. i can spend more time here. i can do yoga later. i am running later this afternoon. and then what? i will do something else instead. i am watching my daughter's stumble. some of it is funny, while some aren't.
i stopped timing my writing. i write and when it reaches the bottom of this page, i stop. that is where practice is right now. i appreciate my own work and don't have to force it on anyone else. i am showing my kids that i can make something out of this, but i do not have to prove anything. only that i follow my joy with no expectations. i had a gift last night. that i was showed something magical. when i woke up, i realized i should pick projects that interest me and not be concerned about pay. i like that. i build up the joy list that way. work with what i want. no need to work for money. that will follow as a reflection of who i am. it is not the other way around.
so do i need a new profile then? i think so.i think i will cancel the contract, refund the client, then take things from there. if they give negative feedback, so be it. this is a learning experience for me. i will take it from there. i can work with that other profile and go from there. i think the nowopen account has my original paypal account connected. i can do that and make things happen. from here on, that is how things are going to happen.
i am also learning gimp. i like that interview about this guy doing great photo manipulation work. i was inspired by his work that i am doing the same. i am learning one new thing with gimp. i am also learning one new thing with python and programming. i am also learning one new thing with html. all this is going to come together and i can make something great in the garden. so now, where do we go?
only that i get to the other side. i wonder if wife is going to take the kids to church. i can stay home with whomever is going to stay at home. do i need a new girlfriend/ i miss that. getting after a girlfriend, getting that new energy experience. why can't it be that way? i don't know. i am setting m own limitations here. i can do something else instead. like what? follow on that light. follow the light. is this what the three kings did? there is significance there. followed the light and they found what?
their own godliness. not that they found jesus. that doesn't make sense there. i think it is in there but the local mind can't grasp it at this time. so i am going to allow it like that and see what happens from here. i can do that series of photos message. it gets attention. i can use that. it is like gimmick? publicity. i am done with that. how am i going to go from here? i don't know yet. just get to the other side and see what happens. i am going to finish these pages then i am going to get on with the day. the kids are almost all awake. it has been a rainy weekend. this is spring.
vian is going to school tomorrow. all of them are. i am going to the doctor tomorrow. i think i can arrange something there to get things running there. what else is there to do around here. just finish writing, post these and get to the other side. there are a lot of things that can be done. the kids get bored and they go online and see what is interesting. they are like more after finding what is funny. at least this daughter here is doing that.
what am i going to do today? i think we can have spaghetti for dinner. or maybe lunch. or something in between. wife gets home late. i think we can have that spaghetti for dinner. i like that too. i can have day one tomorrow if i wanted to. i am waiting for that schedule. i am always in waiting. that is reacting to the reflection. be in that state of being. being. allowing. that is where practice is all the time. this is the last line. thank you for coming. i am going to see you again tomorrow. if i write. i think i will. this is part of the daily practice. i am going to take a break now. bye!