anzac day holiday

morning pages

If I run tomorrow, I don't have to go to the gym, right?

I am being lazy, I know. I am back to using libre office for morning pages. It's not crashing like it did before. I was using courier 10 pitch for the immigration doc.

I just finished making changes to the buhaynz blog. I am updating the work visa document into something more detailed. It's depressing to read about it, too much govt stuff. Legal stuff. Not my baggage. I think I can come up with something better. I don't know. I am open to what is and will see what happens.

In a way, I am helping my brothers, but indirectly. If others will benefit from my work, then it will go around and benefit my brothers one way or the other. It always comes back. It's all connected. And I trust that.

I don't think I have done morning pages just yet. I finish these then I take a shower. I took a shower early this morning. I also have to brush my teeth after this. I just write three pages and I am done. This is part of the practice. I haven't played poker just yet.

I just got news that Pokerstars is buying full tilt poker. Wow. That's big news. And what's going to happen next? Who's going up against them? I don't know. I think they are buying out the players. Are there people still playing in full tilt poker? I liked their merchendise. Too bad it's gone. They are going to be collector's item someday. I have a cap.

I like the jumpers that they have. I saw one in the netball center in northcote. This guy was wearing it and the color was black. The logo was striking.

Anyway, we just finished dinner. I am full to go to shower. I will do that later. I still practice these and want to finish this and get this out of the way. What? Morning pages. I write. This is how the practice is.

It helps in a way. I am a better writer than I was when I got started on day one. I have been doing this for more than a decade now. Wife bought karaoke and hasn't used it for a long time. I wonder if it still works. It is something that they don't do often.

It was fun when they were doing it, but it's not here right now. So what. I can do something else. I am writing right now. This is font number fourteen. Bigger than the usual. It's because I am using a different font and it looks better when it's a bit bigger than usual. So I play with this.

I don't think the chuas are interested in making a connection. Why is that? I don't know. Are they angry with me? Like I did something wrong there. I don't know. Maybe they are ashamed? I don't know. They have their own reason. I think that it's good to connect with people who reach out.

Anyways, life goes on. I can live with that. Or without that. It's just the way it is. No need to define it as negative. It is all conneected. It is all part of the one. And my practice. This is what the morning pages is all about. So I write. After this I go take a shower.

This is already page three. I used to write faster. But that's ok. This is always different. I remember crossing. It's this place that's always full of people. They have different markets. There's a lot of people going through there.

I used to go there for the call center. Now it is behind me. I think there are going to be a lot of new stuff when I go there again. Like there was this failed mall that was bought by a call center provider. Wow. That's big business.

And I am beyond that now. I am into internet marketing. I am selling my own info products. And I have a specialized niche. People who want to move to nz.

There's a lot of information and I am working on improving on what I have. I still have to do a lot of rewrite to it. I am collecting the information right now. When I finish, I do a rewrite and make it better.

The wife and kids are singing again. Karaoke night. It's been months since they last used it. I am going to remind wife to pay the hospital bill. I will forward the money to her. I am not using it anyway.

Things are like this for now. It is all part of the process. At least I am being supported in this direction. This is all connected.

sunday night before school starts


i am sleepy. i just had a downswing this morning. how did i attract that? how does that fit in with the big picture? it's all connected. my job, the ego mind's job here is to see how it fits in with the process. how is this connected?

i am not being good to myself. i see that. tomorrow, i start going to the gym. i am no longer giving priority to my wife. action reaction. if she is going to treat me that way, then i will react accordingly.

do i want to use this font? the other one, courier 10 is neat and tidy. this one looks like it's an old typewriter. i like this one still. it's got style. it's not perfect and that's what i like about it.

i write and this one has no autocorrect. libre office has been crashing on me all day. i'll stick with this for now and just write. i was able to make progress today with three blogs.

first, i changed the domain url for the bitcoin blog. it's now called i think that's a more appropriate domain name. second and third, i added an incentive for people to share my website with their facebook friends. that will increase eyeballs to my site.

it's not much, the freebie that i give to them. will have to make changes to the poker and make it more like copy paste the forum things, then offer that instead of the other book. but in the meantime, it's going to work that way. i will change that later.

this is page one. at least i have page numbers here so i can see how fast i am going. no need to be fast. just write. this looks different as the fonts are tightly packed together compared to libre office.

wife and kids are watching a cable movie. i don't enjoy them so much. it's predictable. at least the wife is doing something without me, but with the kids. i think this is the trend over time. i am not spending as much time with her anymore. she loves with conditions. if you do not meet her conditions, then you are nothing to her.

that's just contrast for me. i can choose against contrast. if there were no contrast, then there is no need to choose. so i choose. what else is there for me to write about?

just get to the other side and see what happens.

if someone were to steal my identity, do i fight it? i don't know. but i don't think i am going to do it the way they do in the movies. i will see it as part of the process. no need to fight it. if people get hurt, then they get hurt because it is all a cocreation.

this is the reality that i live in now. i know i am going to get into trouble for this. par for the course. this is how you learn how to write. you write down everything that comes into your head. if someone uses them against you, then that too is part of the synchronicity.

this doesn't have autocorrect or autocomplete. i am forced to write the whole word with this one. do i want it that way? this is part of the practice. i can write with the other one when i have to. for now, i work with this. no need to do stuff.

i get so sleepy when i am working, but when i go to bed, i spend an hour or two just tossing and turning. is it the coke lite?

i am not having coke lite all day tomorrow. only during dinner. i am full right now. do i want to run tomorrow? i am going to the gym tomorrow. no matter what. i will use my daughter's bike. that is part of the process for me. when will it start to pour in?

i don't know. but for now, i have a website that matches the product. immigration. there are ten million people in manila looking for that information. if they can leave the country, they will. so there's a big need there.

people ask me how to move with the family. all the time. i think someone will click on that someday somehow soon. so be it. no expectations. things will happen when they are going to happen.

people will see it and will be motivated. they will be moved by their need/wants--problems. bencivenga was right. it is all semantics. wants and needs equals problems. that is how i am going to address them from here on.

so when you have a problem, you are looking for a solution. that is what we provide as sales writers. we show them how to solve their problems. it is that simple. no need for emotional triggers and fancy words. just tell them how you can solve their problems, then demonstrate how you are going to do it.

when it makes sense to them, they are going to bite. if it doesn't make any sense to them, they won't bite. i wonder how much is the cost for the immigration report? i think it has to be below a hundred. if more, then it might be too expensive and there might be a return.

but if you price them right, people will want that information. these people looking to get money is looking for a way to take things easy on them.

i think it was good that i posted those blogs early today. the people will see them and will be motivated to do something about it. i am learning and moving forward with this all the time.

what else is there to write about? just write and get to the other side. no need to fix this. no one is reading them anyway. if they want to use it against you, then that shows how they see themselves in relation to me. they have to take down someone who is better than them.

i see that now.

no need to feel bad about it. i know who i am. i know where i stand. it doesn't matter what others think. i know where i am. in our time, i was the best. even if they continued training after i stopped, i can pick up things easily and can beat them again if i had to.

but i don't want to go down that road anymore. i have better things to do with my time. i am moving forward from here. if we cross paths, then there is something there for my process. i learn something all the time.

and if they affect others, so be it. it is part of my process as well. this tells me that i need to go down this road as there is something here for me. that i can learn what i need to learn and no need for a teacher. the teacher is going to be a hindrance in the process. that i can learn from reflection and experience. that is the best teacher of all.

i see that now.

i am moving forward. i am finishing these, then i think i can go to bed. the movie they are watching is about to finish. i am done here.

new directions in my poker business

fishing on the beach

I'm trying out a different typewriter font here. I think I like it. It's like in bold, but not really. Dark and solid. This might replace american typewriter. I can make this as my new default font.

I think I have a winning sytem here on zoom tables. I just play this system, earn the vip cash bonus and move up vip levels and I am making money. No need for fancy plays. I go for the long term. I go for low variance play.

I think I am going to get sucked out. That happens. It happens to everyone. I too get lucky over others. Earlier, I think my set was beat, but I got quads at the end. That was good there.

And this is encouraging for me. I don't think courier new is this clean and interesting a font. I like this better. I can print this out even. I will change default fonts into this one. This is cleaner for me. I am going to stick with this one. Although the other one is also interesting so I am going to keep that.

Here it is. This is how the other one looks like. Travelling typewriter. It's got some weak places there. So the other one is looking better already. I am going to switch back to that now.

I don't get how I can use this font on blogger just yet. It needs a server where it can be hosted. I think I can make an image for that and make that work, but that is going to take some tweaking and research.

It will come. I'll just enjoy writing for now and see how far this goes. The wife and kids are watching tv. They were watching american idol.

Jessica is losing steam. She looks one sided. I don't think she is going to win this one. She has range, but it comes across as flat. There be others who can win the title from her unless she changes something.

morning pags

I am happy with my poker. That was a good run earlier. It got me to the other side and made a new high winrate. I got a new high for this month. I am going to get the vip bonus to pay for the rake. It's like rake back for me. I get part of my rake back for being a regular. I think that be good enough.

Maybe I can play as a prop player, but there's not enough players in those new tables that it's going or I think it's going to give me variance that I don't like. On the other hand, I am going to learn how to play heads up and short handed in those tables. So what am I going to do here?

Play it tight maybe. Just wait for the good hands to come then slow play. Is that going to work for me? I can do something else. I can keep playing with pokerstars. They take care of their playes. I think. They seem to be doing good at what they are doing. That's why players go to their tables.

Yes. I think I will stay with pokerstars. I have something good going here already. This is page three now. Man, I like this new font. I am keeping this and probably get rid of the others? Not really. Just keep them there. Be on the lookout for others, but keep this one here for now.

Also get to the other side. Wife wants to go out tomorrow. I can take a break from all this. I am taking a break right now. I don't know if that was a good nap for me there. Do I go on a break tomorrow? What food am I going to eat? I can do a day one, but I am not looking forward to it.

I don't feel perfect in that. My vibration is lower there. I think I just made a good new friend there with sherman. They are good people. I wonder if I am going to see them again. I think getting on facebook is good because even if you do not talk with people, you see their status updates and that gives you an idea of what's happening.

I also need to make a reply to george's shoutout there. I just finished five hundred hands this session. That's how much I do in a session. I can bump it up to six hundred tomorrow. That's like four sessions of six hundred hands. That's a lot. That will get me finished with the silver star status. That will double my vip points.

I think that's a good plan. Earn the points, move up star level. If I move up stake levels so be it, but work for the star level instead. Break even player will get me there. What else? Because the points will add up the dollars.

I see. That makes better sense for me.

tuesday contrast

mother with toddlers

i am not enjoying dvorak. i removed it again from my pc. i am not writing as much as i want to. it restricts me. I am going back to qwerty. I'll just take breaks from my writing to make it easy on my fingers. Also will do more cleansing in my system. That helps out.

I want to see more of these writing. I used to write three pages and it was a breeze for me. It's easy for the dvorak, but it takes some time to learn them and my head is getting confused.

I have a lot of issues in me. I think I can get used to this again just by looking at the keys. This way, I see what it is that I am writing. The ideas flow easier this way. I can keep this up and write more this way.

As it is, I think I lost a few days of writing. That's part of the process. This is how we find what works and what doesn't. I like this font. It's got something to it. It's like courier 10 pitch but there is this irregularity to it that makes it look like it was typed using an old typewriter.

If only I can post these fonts to blogger. I was thinking i'd use the image of the document, but that is going to affect the visibility of the text. Better to work with what I got.

We are going out for dinner tonight. I don't feel like going. I am practicing my skills here. I will get something out of this anyway. If not, then it is meant to be something else.

I got tired of working for clients. I'd rather build up my brand. It takes time, but so far, the universe is showing me support. So I am going to go down this road and see where this leads to.

I have to update the other blogs. Make them update once a week minimum. That's going to increase traffic in the long term. I still make three pages, but it's like two and a half pages because this font is bigger by one point.

That's ok. This is all a part of the process. Just write and get to the other side each time. No need to edit. This is the morning pages. I write what comes to mind. This helps to clarify the water, gets me back in the light.

I don't like that sleepover girl. She gets me upset. She is almost always fighting with my son. He's part to blame anyway. They are both bossy with each other. I can't deal with it right now. They both have to grow up some more. It's going to be next year before she comes back for a sleepover. I am going to say no to the next request that she makes.

Thursday I am taking the daughter to the doctor to have her vaccinated. I am also going to have our records there updated. I can go to the gym tomorrow. Will I? I want to start working out again.

I am going to pay the credit card, then order the contact lens. It lasts for two weeks, but I can extend that for three to make them last longer by a bit. Not five weeks like I used to. I still have to shower and then we are going to go get the wife. Do I have books waiting in the library?

I think it is going to be closed when we get there. I am not happy when the kids are at home from school break. I feel bad that I feel that way towards them. I guess that's resistance there for me.

They are always fighting about the petty things. I get dragged out of the light. Then I am a holier than thou person there. I see that. See why I write.

One more kid in the shower then I am going to shower myself. I am going to check where the other valentine's is in the city.

sunday morning pages

mexican food

I am practicing dvorak, agin. I am doing one page then I am going to post these up. The way I see myself going forward with this is by doing one page every morning.

So be it then. I dreamed about the santillans from tanay. I think the kids there are adults by now. I wonder if they still remember me. They were like marcus' age back then. It has been more than a decade now. I wish them the best.

Some people will move out of your life. It is normal. This is part of the process. They will come and they will go, no matter how much they mean to you right now.

This is the cycle of life.

This is the process. Everything happens for a reason. And so is my writing. Sometimes I write good. Other times, it is going to be like this, where things are slow, because I am making adjustments.

And this is ok too. It is part of the process for me. Most of all, it is my process. It is not someone else's. And so I accept it. No need to disown it. This will not serve someone else. It is addressed to me. Hence, it will only work for me.

What else to write about?

Write about anything that comes to mind. No need to hurry up and get things done. Once you understand and accept that the universe works this way, you will marvel at how it works.

It is all very simple. You will see that you are, and have been always supported. Always. In all ways.

But it is up to you. That is what unconditional love is about. This is what I am learning here. This is why I write. It comes out where I can see them.

This is going to go faster the more that I practice it. I have been here before. I've seen it happen before. So I allow it. It's like in the movies.

Will I play poker today?

Only if it is part of my excitement. If I am not excited about it, if it will feel like going to work, then do not do it. Only do things because it is part of your joy. If it is not, then it is not in the agenda.

Can I live this way all the time?

Why not? It is my reality. There will be issues coming up. They are there to help clear things up for you. Allow them to come up. They will tell you if you are on the right track or not. Most of all, enjoy your day!

Good thursday

lake house

The wife had a down session on poker last night. She calls too much, doesn't raise enough and doesn't know how to play postflop. I think the poker guide that I am coming out will simplify that.

I can't teach her right now. Her cup is still full. The only time I can get through to her is when she accepts the fact that she doesn't know.

This is why it's possible to make money with online poker. There are a lot of people who do it for leaisure... a few want to do it for business but do not know how to make it work.

I am a bankroll nit. I can move up stakes, but I want my skill level to be up to par regardless of how much bankroll I have. I just applied to be tested for a driver's license. They did not even check my eyesight again.

I think there's a way around that. In any case, I think I have too much anxiety. I can see that. That means I am outside of the forrest. I am not going to the gym today. I had a sore throat last night. It tells me I am going to get a cold. I'll skip today, then maybe go back next week. That's a long weekend there.

I miss it. Too much worry and when it comes up, I just flag that. That's how habits are formed. That's how I reverse a habit. You need to replace it.

Am I going to post these when I finish?

Not really. I don't have to. I have a lot to write about. One is that social media marketing is a farce. Small businesses do not need it.

They show you that blue chip companies, the big boys do it and they are profitable. It's true. But for small businesses, it won't happen.

For one, big boys have the budget. We don't. Second, their stock price improves an average of two percent if they have a good pr campaign/ad for them. When public perception is good, their stock prices go up an average of two percent.

Imagine if your company is publicly traded and you had a billion shares. Imagine what two percent rise in the stock price will add to your capital.

Small businesses do not have this. No matter how good your pr campaign is, it's going to add to the cost of acquiring new customers. If the pr campaign doesn't bring in new customers consistently, it's a leak. Plug it.

Therse are the things that I write about. The howtogrowbiz blog is getting more attention. I am a different person now. I don't care about how it's going to happen. All I need to know is that I am in that state of being that I prefer. No need to react to the reflection. It's a reflection. I become, the reflection follows and I experience.

That is the equation. I am scheduled for the driver's license test on wednesday next week. In the morning. I drive the wife to work, have coffee, then finish the test.

Then after a month, I can apply again for the regular license. There was a brazilian lady applying as well. I think she is someone else's gf. She looks hot. Not exactly supermodel hot, but my standards hot.

I am getting old. I feel it. This is why I see it. I am aware of that now. This is the awareness. No need to fight it. I am not getting old. I am getting strong in the spirit. That's where the real action is.

So things are moving forward. One step at a time? Not really. All things are happening right now. I am moving forward with this. Even poker is starting to look good. I am going to do yoga when the kids get home then.

I use windows more often than the other one. This is because poker is in here. Also camtasia. I am going to get some videos made. If the books arrive today and I get notified by the library, i'd like to get them.

This way, I have stuff to read while we are away. If not, so be it. I can have them when they arrive next week. Things are starting to happen fast again.

I think it was the bank snafu with the telecom payment. I was sure I made the right input. I wonder why that was so? Anyway, it's behind us now.

What else do I need to write about? This is page two. I have one more page to go. I write three line paragraph then I move on to the next line. Tis way, the text doesn't look too blocky.

How to get that tab inserted every new paragraph? I don't know yet. I have to do them manually. I think it helps to make it easier to read if I tabbed them.

But if I can't then so be it. It deson't have to be.

I also vary the length of the paragraph. Sometimes, one, few times two. This way, it varies.

What you want is for the reader to stay with you. But that is just the external. Of course the story matters. If you have something to say, then they are going to read it if you are interesting enough.

If not, they no matter how much you prettify your text, it's not going to work. So am I a copywriter still?

Yes. I am making copy for my own and not someone else's. I am following claude hopkins' advice to go solo. In odesk, I am just working for someone else.

I have always wanted to work for myself. Now I am. I work less and am stressed less. The money is there. It's the energy. I just need to align with it.

But I am aware of this now. And I am moving forward. I pick up the kids from school at two pm. They come out early today. Starting tonight, they sleep whenever they want.

They can even sleep in the living room. I think I got this bug from my daughter. She was sick the other night. Now I got it. I just need to sit this one out.

I'd like to run later tonight. I think the kids can make pizza. What will I have?

I started wearing the old pants now. It's still tight, but I fit in there again. I really let loose last year going into christmas. I see that now. Things are different.

For one, I no longer have those cravings. It's just an excitement issue. Now it is past me. What excites me now? Working and growing my business.

Nothing beats that. When I make my one percent for the day, I am happy. I am excited. I just need to do one percent better than yesterday.

It could be a blog post. It could be a tweak. It could be a different offer. Anything that makes the business improve by one percent and I am happy. I have had a productive day.

You don't get that working for someone else. It has to be like to the max all the time. This is why I work for myself. And now I am working on the definitions. Rather, seeing the definitions that I have and realigning them.

I don't have to fight myself to it. I just need to observe, hey, I am holding on to this definition. And then I let go. By being aware of it, I let go of it.

Also think that all things are possible. When I worry about something, I do not fight it out of my head. I just acknowledge my self that everything is possible.

If that dread is there. Then it's possible. This opens up the energy in me.


I'm tired. I had a short nap. Wife doesn't get what I am going through. That's ok. This is here so that tells me that this is part of the process that I go through. No need to change her. That will not work. I've been there before. Now I know that it will not work.

What is going to work for me then?

I am going to work on improving organic search for that blog, low variance poker. That is what needs my attention now. How do I do that? Come out with online poker related stuff everyday.

Eventually, I am going to go up stakes. Do I need to do that thing that I do? With what? There are more fish on zoom tables. But how do I deal with that quick fold thing?

I don't know. Ignore it? I get enough tables anyway. Just open up a table that needs my attention. No need to click on get new one. That way, I do not accidentally close a good hand table.

I can do that. But will that slow down the tables that I play. The reason I did not get good at basketball is because of that. There is a time limit to that. After a certain period, the facilities will not improve as it has to go someplace else.

It is better this way. I am learning how to make money on the internet. I already have one product to market. I am going to start off several more others.

The thing with my blogs is not to teach but to share my experiences with others. This way, I am a valued resource for them. This is how it worked for jim and it might work for me as well.

That's the position I am going to take with my blogs. I feel exhausted still. I feel like I did not get much from the nap I got. Do I want to go to bed early today? I will play a bit later.

I am going to concentrate on zoom tables. The reason is because there are less short stackers in there and more fish. Fish tend to call you down to river with top pair. They might even go aggressive. If I don't have anything, then good. Besides, they will not see it coming if they do not have pokertracker.

What's good about zoom is that there are many players always. There might be less short stacks on higher stake levels because they tend to accumulate their chips. I think I can play with this and see what happens.

It's back to normal schedule tomorrow. There is a movie tonight? I don't know. Usually sundays there are good movies. I think it's supposed to be showing now. I feel sick. I think it's the kfc meal I had earlier. That is going to bother me tomorrow.

Just focus on getting more quality content. It's the newbies that the blog is after. Then things will grow from there. I just share my experiences with them. It's up to them if they learn something from it or not.

Am I going to go for super nova again? It will be fun. But there will be times when it will get boring. The kids want to play with this computer.

It was good to explore the city. But not their way. The wife's way is different from mine. That's the part that I don't like it is the restraint.

But they are the reflection. I like that lady in the yellow car. Why am I not there? I don't know. I think it is time to amp things up a bit that. Was the reason for the trip. To show me the difference in my frequency.

That was a good trip then. I don't feel that deficient now. I just see the difference in the vibration. I am going to use that to my advantage.

Do I want to stop playing? I am going to concentrate on my writing. No more copywriting for others. I am going to do this for myself and improve these things.

I learned this from the programming blogs. The blogs are the better resource. I see the path they have taken and I can choose to see if that is also what I want to do.

They see that I am selling something, but that is to make some money. If they do not want to buy, then so be it. But if it is going to help other people, then it was a plesure for me to do so.

Will I also sell my own product? Soon as I have a good product to offer. What else is there for me to do? I can do a network forum. I can have a link on facebook groups. That way, people can post comments, questions and suggestions.

Will it work this time? What is? I don't know the group. Or is it better to have a wiki style group page like the one with stackexchange. There is already one group that works like that. I can and am going to sell my product.

I am going to craft that. I need to shower after this. I feel sick from the kfc dinner. I can do something else instead. I am going to shower after I post this. I don't think they are going to skype it is only seven pm.

There is plenty of time. I am now on page three. This is the last page. I don't have to worry about it. I can still play one more session later when I feel better.

I don't have to go out. I can find that light inside of me just sitting in here. But then again, I don't get out that often. So it was good. It was Synchronicity. I can work with that. Synchronicity.

That is how I live my life these days. No need for me to plan anything. Just get to the other side each time. Point downstream. If it looks good and fun for me, I go there. I don't keep long term goals anymore.

Some experts say that one should have goals to be successful. I don't think so. That was so last decade. It doesn't work anymore. That is progress. It is expectation. That is judgement to what is and that gets me off the light.

I don't want to go there. I just follow the excitement. That tells me I am on the right track. I used to have goals and now I don't know where they are. I did not achieve them. I discarded them. It no longer served me. I realized that it was not the path I want to take.

Pointing downstream and following my excitement is better for me. That is getting me feeling good now, in this moment, where it matters most. Everything else reflects from that thereon.

How to explain these to other people?

I don't have to. They see that I am happy then good. If they ask and really want to know then I explain it to them. If it works for them as well, then good. If not, then they will find what they need some place else.

It all works. It only depends on which path you want to take. I am taking this path. This and that not this or that. Calling stations also make money. They know which ones make money or not. I can donk on the turn and that is also a valid strategy, but it is more expensive.

I'd rather keep on doing what I am doing. I know the stats. I can keep to them and see what happens. What else? Variance happens. That is part of doing business. I am going to shower after I finish these. Then I will play another session of poker.