end of winter?

I don't know what to do now. The kids are fighting. It's like four against one. The one was making food for everyone else and was taking too long. So they must have picked on her and now she's crying. And now the tv is off for one hour as a consequence.

Anyway, I am making roast pork in the oven. It cooks at 150 for three hours, it'd be ready at 7pm and wife is on her way home by then. I'd like to show the new friend around the house. I think I owe her that. Otherwise, I think it's only proper. If she declines, then so be it.

This rss ticker thing, it's loading up a lot of feeds all the time. It takes a lot just to see all of them, and it's just the pictures I am after. Do I really want what they are publishing?

Not all of them. There are a few that I want to see. Picture blogs are great. Like copenhagen cycle chic. The others, not as good. Mine isn't there yet. That's fine. I can get there. It's just a camera. I can work with that when I get there.

ok. the kids are now having their pancit. That's what I promised them yesterday. They are going to have another pack tomorrow. It's on sale, two packs for five dollars. I wonder why it is for sale? I think paknsave has a sale. So countdown also wants a sale.

Considering that paknsave is cheaper, countdown has a lot of customers around the time school lets out. There was so many people going into countdown earlier. I meet the kids in there. I don't have to walk up the road to meet them. That is acting out of fear. I don't have to. I can act out of love, out of allowing, and know that everything will happen that needs to happen. No need for fear.

Fearful thinking has been a habit for me. I think I learned that from my wife. Now I am aware of it. I am not choosing that anymore. I would rather be at peace. I would rather be in the light.

Fear thinking is from the brain. It's logic. I am in the brain mode. Whereas love is from the heart. When I find myself in fear, or anxiety, then I see that and get to choose. It becomes an opportunity for me. I choose to be in the heart. The heart is quiet. It is peaceful. Then the heart and brain work together. The brain starts to think in the light—positive thoughts.

I had that insight earlier today. I was reading conversations with god and that insight came through. One of the kids is upset because I turned off the tv on her turn. It was rude of her to label the other one as lazy when she is doing all the cooking.

Anyway, this is how it is. At least the tv is quiet now and they can do something else. The broadband technician did not come. I am going to have to give them a call again tomorrow. The dsl light came on a while ago. Now it's off again. I wonder why they did not come?

Maybe they were outside and fixed the box on the street. When they saw that working, they should have called. That's to check if my connection is already up. But I did not have a call.

It's still early in the day. They might be working on it as we speak. I hope so. This way, the other internet can go to the kids' computer and I don't have to use them. I shouldn't be charged anything if the internet access is down. That's life.

I found that when I changed the plan and upgraded, I think they made changes in there. There is a big oki truck outside. I wonder which house that one goes to.

I am playing poker in a moment. The big truck goes to the neighbor. They are a young people next door. Party people? Probably not. Just young people. I was there once. But after college, I wasn't in there quite yet. I was working in sales. It was tough.

Anyway, time to move forward. I gained something in the process. I am moving forward from there. I still have the internet up. I can do something else I had coke while the kids have pancit. That's the rule here.

Am I being selfish? No. I am attending to myself. This is how I take care of myself. I attend to the kids. I put them first, but sometimes, I need to put myself first when their needs are already met.