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friday healing



I have half an hour to go before I pick up the kids... so I write. The garbage collectors have finished their job. The blue bin is empty, the cartons and papers were just picked up, and rubbish, a while ago was taken.

When I go out and get the kids, I will bring up the blue bin. This is what fridays is like around here. The buhaynz domain is going to expire soon. I am going to renew that. I wonder if I can do something about it? I don't know yet. For now, things work.

This is what my day is like. I learned more about ruby this morning. I watched videos that I have. I also read books. But what helps most is the coding practice. When I see ruby code, I write them. Even if I can read them. Writing them down on vim somehow makes a connection in my brain and I understand the code better. Simply reading them, it works as well, but I get 100 points bonus when I write them as well.

I think mongodb has good documentation with ruby. I am going to work with them. I can work with couchdb as well, we will see how things go. I think it will work either way.

I like couchdb as I can access or pipe html files from their database. I don't know if this is possible with mongo. Technically, I think it is possible as they are both nosql databases. It's just that different commands might be needed. I will test that one of these days.

I am more comfortable with ruby this time around. I have been looking into c and web development these past few weeks. Doing so helps me get a better understanding of how to connect with the computer.

Assembly language is not my thing. C is about as low level that I will go. So the combination I have is c, ruby and web development. I think I am happy with this. Ruby is good stuff. C is low level and I can get it. Compared to c++, c I can digest better. C++ is like, too spicy for my taste.

Maybe one of these days, I can go back to cpp and understand that better. What happened there? I think it had something to do with the new page. I can test that later on again.

I saw red riding hood last night. Nothing new with hollywood movies. They need to branch out more. They treat their audience as kids. Matrix was something else. Why not make movies like that?

Is it the writers? I don't think so. It is this wanting to make money that makes the movies less than better than they should be. So be it. This is all connected and things happen for a reason.

I don't write as fast or efficient as I did before. I haven't been writing for some time now. This is the second instance that I write since I started writing again yesterday.

Why did I stop? Can't remember exactly, but there were too many stuff on my plate. I was thinking i'd do them tomorrow, the writing, but never got around to doing them. This time, I see that. I see the choices that I make. I will make choices that are in alignment.

As usual, I will post these after I finish them. Three pages with size fourteen font is still pretty big. They take up a lot of space after I upload them. I don't think it will help if I increased the font some more. Maybe I can edit them after I finish. Surely this will thn out a bit after I edit these or polish them.

I don't like going to odesk anymore. I don't think it's the kind of business that I want to get into. Lots of fakers in there. The energy is that of want.

But this is my reflection. Maybe this is who I am. I think there is too much want in me, that I experience want on the outside. So be it then. At least I am aware of this now. I can move forward from here.

One more page after this. I changed my desktop background. I think I change them once a week. When I see a picture I like on the internet, I switch. This way, I get something new each time. It's like connecting to that me that is already there. Too complicated? I think so. This is what came out. I write it down. No need to edit.

Even if things got unreadable, I still write and avoid editing. This is the practice. This is what it is all about. This is not about writing for the audience. This is simply writing practice.

The intention here is to connect to that source of flow. That is where creativity is. Creativity is right here and now. No need to go to the future or the past. Creativity doesn't get taught. It flows forth.

The teacher might help, but only in a zen way. The student and the teacher is one. There is no separation. Once you see it differently, they there is separation. There is no more connection. There is no creation. There still is creation. But it is tainted with negative energy.

It is all connected. Because consciousness is. It is like += in programming. And it is not. It depends on how you see it. I just made an edit there. There was wrong spelling. This is part of the writing practice then, even if I were to make edits.

It is allowing. Then I can move on from there. I see this as a process? I think so. So be it. I can save this now, but I am almost done here.

I just saved it. The thing is, when the timing is right, then things will happen by itself. When the timing is not right, no matter how hard you try, nothing happens. It is all about reflection. That is when the timing is right.

Right now, this is where I should be. I am editing again. I saw that happen. I did not work out today. I am recuperating my ankle. It got injured the other day. It is the third day today. I can go ride tomorrow. It is saturday tomorrow.

The weekend is here. I think I just be open to what is, and everything will fall into place. No need for beauty. Go for form?