anxious upset and overwhelmed

I am having issues. Again. I am upset. I was driver all afternoon. I went out four times. I feel like ihave more work and am getting less paid and everyone is complaining about it and I can't do anything about it. I had to take a nap as well. I was tired. I don't like working for money.

I enjoyed web dev even if I wasn't making money. Do I go back there again? I can do that. I'll finish this one project and then I will concentrate more on web dev. I was already working with angularjs. It's a javascript framework so I don't have to do jquery spaghetti.

Is that good or bad? I don't even jave my earphones. I feel overwhelmed and anxious. What do I do here now? I just write. It's called a mind dump. How to write that thing? I don't know yet. I am doing my research at the moment. The guy can approve my time extra or not. If not, then so be it, but ten hours a week is like not enough. That's like me working three days only. I think it starts next week then. I don't think i'd go over that.

I need time away from all that. I think I can do angular tonight. I have done research already. I think I can make a better website here. What else? I can do a critique first, then I can work from there. I can follow the format? no. I can create my own.

What are the things that are needed there? Do I need that book? I was reading it. I can use that as reference or something. It's going to cost me a week's pay. I think I can do without it for now. What do I do now? Go to that marketing torrent website.

I am. I look for it there. I just need that one or two chapters. It's not that I will need all chapters. So not all books are in the torrent world. How to change that? Just be in the vibration. I will know what I need to know when I need to know it. Right now, I just do three pages. That's where I am going with this. And what else do I need to write about?

I don't know yet. I do three pages to get me writing. To get over that hump of beginning to write. Then I get to the finish line and see what happens. How do I get there? Get the primary story first then I will see what else is there to do. I can write about something. It was that guy I was watching. I think he is there to see something. I can watch that while I write. I asked to see the full video course, but I got samples that were made as marketing material. I need to see the raw video. That's what I am selling. Anyway, this is what I have. This is what I am working with.

Something is wrong with the laptop. Wife won't let me touch it. If I did, i'd install windows 7 into it with a dual boot option. That way, I can maintain it well and it will do fine. Why not do it?

I can do that. I think I can do that. I will have to install windows 7 first on unetbootin, then go from there. Is that even possible? I think so. What else is there?

Will raiderz run inside linux? I think it will as other games will run into it. Is the internet down? I don't know. Now, nobody is using the laptop. It crashes often. If the next time nobody uses it and they are using my computer, I will sneak at the back and install it. Specially on a weekend.

They have decided that it is not working well. I can get it to work well. What else is there? I can turn it off then play with it. I think it is possibble. I am writing here. Go do whatever you want to do. I am going to get to the other side.

I think I want to learn that, but I don't have time to practice regularly. I might have an hour. But I do yoga with it. And where do I get a training partner with that? I think i'd rather learn taichi or something. Like what? I don't know yet I can learn something and go from there.

I can learn forms. I am doing forms. Angular js. I am learning the bsics with that. I think my eldest child is looking for attention. I am giving it to her. She is talking about her day and I think it is interesting that she talks a lot. Her and my youngest daughter talk a lot. I think they have a good relationship there.

I can watch the video and I will do three pages as I write. That will get the ideas connected and running. I can set up the structure for that then I write three pages and then I edit, then I leave it at that then I write three pages again. I can do that over and over and then I will see what or where I can go from ther. I think that will work.

I will finish this, brush my teeth then I can start working on that for two hours. That be a good option for me. What else is tehre for me to write about? I don't knnow hust get to the other side. Is it time for me to learn dvorak? I think it will be easy if I learn that but when it is time for me to do programming, that is going to be a problem.

I think I can make a switch there. I am not going to do the home page thing. I don't know if I can do that in the middle of a project. It is the connection that I am looking for. Why not use geany or something else.

I can do that too. But vim has a lot of plugins that make it easy for me to write. How else am I going to do this? I don't know yet. Geany seems like a good option. I can do that as well. But navigating with the home key is so good and natural already. Why go for something else?

I don't know. I just want to finish these and see what happens. The kids are heare. I am going to wirk until eleven pm or maybe midnight. I got a few videos to watch, but most of them were junk. The really good ones, I can't find them. There is not even john caples in there.

I think there is something here for me. Just get to the other side each time and see what happens. Why not work on angular tonight. I can do work tomorrow. I think that will be interesting.

Play for now. Give myself permission to work ont his. Then I can get to the other side and see what happens. How much longer before I get work? I think it doesn't take long. I just do this and see what happens. What else is there?

I don't know. I have about three paragraphs of these to write. I can play with geany and see how it feels. I can then try dvorak, btu I need the flow to happens. How to go over that?

I don't know. It is going to slow down my writing. It might affect the flow. But in the long run, it is going to work out for me. Typing is going to be such a pleasure again.

Let's do that then.