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sunday night and we're moving




I just woke up from a nap. We checked out the new house this afternoon and wife sigted the papers. It's where we are going to live in the next 12 months. It's rightnext to a soccer field. I can resume running again in that field. But first, we go through a transition period.

That's about a week where we are going to move. I can call to schedule for movers this weekend. We can then sleep there saturday night. That will be great. The sooner we move over there, the better. I am going to be busy with that this week. The big ones will be moved this weekend. I will make phone calls tomorrow to schedule that. The sooner the better.

And then what? We then spend the days after that cleaning the old house. We have been here for year and now we are moving. That's life. At least the next house looks ok. I look forward to living, moving there. This is why I write. Kyla was grounded from raiderz for a month. She is upset about it. That's life. I think they need to learn the lesson that they need to care for the stuff that they are given.

Is that how I want to live? I am in that world? I don't know. It is wife's rules. I think the kids know what's important to them. Right now, it's the stuff they have, but still, they need to take care of them.

I have been in that same boat when I was a kid. She lied. And I too, lied to get out of trouble. That's how things are. I am open to all that's happening right now. These are all a part of the big picture. I don't know how things are related. All I know is that since it is here, it is a part of the process.

I feel negative about all this. Like it is depressing. I think the low times are part of the process as well. How long will I be in this? I don't know yet. Just be here and see what happens. Even stela is going to miss her bf when he leaves for nz. The sooner that he gets settled in here, the sooner that they can be together. I don't know what business he had to attend to in manila. I think he lost time in tehre. But I don't know anything. Maybe that is part of their process.

So be it then. I am tired of this lifestyle. I am making changes nowe I am responding differently to all this. I will start walking tomorrow. So that when we moved there, I can start running already. I can do three times a week runs. I will alternate runs with walks. I will run barefoot. It's in the grass. I enjoy that. It will be raining sometimes. I enjoy running in the rain. That's where the fun comes. I also will notify tash about the move. She might want to come over for a sleepover. The kids are getting the bigger room this time. They are growing up.

I am going to set a good example, I think and will go back to a healthyer me. That will take several months. At least this time, they will be aware af the changes that I will go through. I have been through this before. I can shift into that again.

I like installing shuff in here. I can go learn go this time. I like go better as there are not those double underscores when defining classese. At least it is not object oriented in that way. It still is in a way, but in a different manner. I can look into that and see how things will go.

I have several books on the subject. I can go for a shower when the kids go to bed. That way, there is going to be hot water. I feel negative about al this. Like I am only waiting for the end to come. That's not my light. Surely there is something else about this. Then what is it?

I don't know yet. I just know what I don't like. And that getting a job just to earn money is not my cup of tea. Then what is it that I want? I don't know if I really know that now. Thin I am going to be open to what is. Right now, there is nothing there. Only that I am learning how to code and that I am here for the kids—the family.

I need to clean up my keyboard. It feels sticky. I ate oranges as I was using this earlier. I ran use wipes to clean this up. I will do that when I finish these later on. I have fifteen minutes befor bed time for the kids. I am more comfortable using dvorak. It gets ronfusing sometimes, but I am getting used to int

there was this kid who got beat up by an older kid. He died because of it. What startid it was a comment maie on facebook. I think the other felow was being a bully out to prove something. Too bad that these things happen.

And what is going to become of that? I don't know. Lives are messed up. Someone has to take ownership of it so they can move forward. I know how I will react to that. I will choose to be in the light. It is going to be hard, but that is what happened. It is synchronicity. It is hard and painful, but staying out of the light is much harder. Move on and learn the lesson in it. If I were the bully. Then take responsibility and apologize.

nothing whatsoever




There's more people these days claiming to be the messiah. In a sense, it is true. They are shards of the fragment of the one. Each one of us is a shard. That shard. Each one of us is the messiah. Not the savior though. Everyone is a savior, then who else is there to save? We only save ourselves. I am not a religious person. I am far from that. I am a here and now person. I am this and I am that.

I am also doing the laundry. And that is who I am. Right now I am a writer. I am writitg this. It doesn't have to be the greatest novel in the world. But I am writing. There is only here and now. Why would people want to put someone else above them? Maybe they were meant to do that. That there is something there for them. I miss the madness in the philippines. When will I get back to all that? When the timing is right.

Why am I going back there? I don't know. All I know is that I want to ride my bike all over samar and leyte. I am going on a bike tour there. Who knows what will happen. All I know is that it is going to be fun. That it is there and it is going to be that.

How will it come about? I will hop on a plane, get a bike soon as I land there, then start riding. Where to get the money? I don't know. All I know is that there is that direction that I want to take. When will it happen? It is happening now. For there is only here and now. Why am I not there then? Because I am here. Why am I here if it is happening now? I am not of the frequency. Soon as I match that frequency, then I am going to be there.

I am not the messiad. I am trynig to make sense out of all that. I woke up at three in the morning and couldn't go back to bed. I think the game is going to be available later after lunch. I am going to be on the lookout for that. I think it is possible to create a script that will wait for that, then dovnload the files necessary.

How am I going to do that? By metacode, rather pseudo code. You map out how things are going to happen, then you write code as to how things are going to happen. It is getting warm around here. I am going to get ready to move now. I ma going to mow the lawn some time later. Maybe not yet. Then I am not going to do anything just yet. I can start packing stuff. That will come esay and things wil become evident when the time is near. Not now. There are other things to do.

I am going to install later when kids is done playing her game. I don't know if she is going to be able to play tomorrow. I am lazy to go there. I will want her not to go tomorrow so I don't have to go. Not that there are stuff that are urgent. It'- not fun anymore to go there.

What would I rather do then? Ride my bike if it is not cold. Or sit in front of the computer. I dave arch linux installed and stable. I also have conky running and I like that plus my background. I like my computer right now. I am going to extend that to the laptop. I was headed in that direction. I think that it is possible to install my tools in the laptop even with arch. I will do that later on then.

In the meantime, I just write. There is nothing else here that needs my atteniton, so I am writing. I am getting sleepy. What else can I do here? Finish writing. Then I will hang the clothes in the garage. Then, after all that, I can take a nap. I will take a long nap that hen I wake up, I will feel disoriented. That is how you sleep.

When was the last time I had that? I can't remember. Usually, when I sleep through the night, I get that in the morning. But when I spesd a few minutes in bed, I can reorient myself so when I get up, I am back in the world. That is how it feels like to have agood sleep.

I am writitng this and then I will hang the clothes outside. Do I have to see what I am writing? Not necessarily so. I just write. I am going to have to turn off this heater. Does daughter have to be absent tomorrow? Only if she wants to. I don't think I will make a good media person. I am a writer, not a speaker. I can connect with my writing better than when I speak. I speawk like I write. I dump out everything, and then I edit later.

And that'- where I get in trouble, sometimes. I think sito and company were into linux long before I was into it. I remember mike telling me about it. I onder if he is still into that. I can look him up and see how things are doing with him.

If he loved coding, I wonder if he'd still be practicing medicine. Probably so. There's a good chance that he wil. I think he will make time for it somehow. As I am making time for it. This is how you get to the other side. This is where the practice is. So how am I going to get to the other side? One word at a time.

I will write and this is probably the last paragraph. I will fill this in with words even if they do not make any sense. The key is not to edit as I write. But I am doing that. It doesnt matter. I just write. I wonder if sito is still with that girlfriend of his. I forgot her name. I remember that I knew her. They used to train with bong. That was a long time ago.