Pages

sunday night and we're moving




I just woke up from a nap. We checked out the new house this afternoon and wife sigted the papers. It's where we are going to live in the next 12 months. It's rightnext to a soccer field. I can resume running again in that field. But first, we go through a transition period.

That's about a week where we are going to move. I can call to schedule for movers this weekend. We can then sleep there saturday night. That will be great. The sooner we move over there, the better. I am going to be busy with that this week. The big ones will be moved this weekend. I will make phone calls tomorrow to schedule that. The sooner the better.

And then what? We then spend the days after that cleaning the old house. We have been here for year and now we are moving. That's life. At least the next house looks ok. I look forward to living, moving there. This is why I write. Kyla was grounded from raiderz for a month. She is upset about it. That's life. I think they need to learn the lesson that they need to care for the stuff that they are given.

Is that how I want to live? I am in that world? I don't know. It is wife's rules. I think the kids know what's important to them. Right now, it's the stuff they have, but still, they need to take care of them.

I have been in that same boat when I was a kid. She lied. And I too, lied to get out of trouble. That's how things are. I am open to all that's happening right now. These are all a part of the big picture. I don't know how things are related. All I know is that since it is here, it is a part of the process.

I feel negative about all this. Like it is depressing. I think the low times are part of the process as well. How long will I be in this? I don't know yet. Just be here and see what happens. Even stela is going to miss her bf when he leaves for nz. The sooner that he gets settled in here, the sooner that they can be together. I don't know what business he had to attend to in manila. I think he lost time in tehre. But I don't know anything. Maybe that is part of their process.

So be it then. I am tired of this lifestyle. I am making changes nowe I am responding differently to all this. I will start walking tomorrow. So that when we moved there, I can start running already. I can do three times a week runs. I will alternate runs with walks. I will run barefoot. It's in the grass. I enjoy that. It will be raining sometimes. I enjoy running in the rain. That's where the fun comes. I also will notify tash about the move. She might want to come over for a sleepover. The kids are getting the bigger room this time. They are growing up.

I am going to set a good example, I think and will go back to a healthyer me. That will take several months. At least this time, they will be aware af the changes that I will go through. I have been through this before. I can shift into that again.

I like installing shuff in here. I can go learn go this time. I like go better as there are not those double underscores when defining classese. At least it is not object oriented in that way. It still is in a way, but in a different manner. I can look into that and see how things will go.

I have several books on the subject. I can go for a shower when the kids go to bed. That way, there is going to be hot water. I feel negative about al this. Like I am only waiting for the end to come. That's not my light. Surely there is something else about this. Then what is it?

I don't know yet. I just know what I don't like. And that getting a job just to earn money is not my cup of tea. Then what is it that I want? I don't know if I really know that now. Thin I am going to be open to what is. Right now, there is nothing there. Only that I am learning how to code and that I am here for the kids—the family.

I need to clean up my keyboard. It feels sticky. I ate oranges as I was using this earlier. I ran use wipes to clean this up. I will do that when I finish these later on. I have fifteen minutes befor bed time for the kids. I am more comfortable using dvorak. It gets ronfusing sometimes, but I am getting used to int

there was this kid who got beat up by an older kid. He died because of it. What startid it was a comment maie on facebook. I think the other felow was being a bully out to prove something. Too bad that these things happen.

And what is going to become of that? I don't know. Lives are messed up. Someone has to take ownership of it so they can move forward. I know how I will react to that. I will choose to be in the light. It is going to be hard, but that is what happened. It is synchronicity. It is hard and painful, but staying out of the light is much harder. Move on and learn the lesson in it. If I were the bully. Then take responsibility and apologize.