state my being

I am upset and pissed. Wife bought a new tv. She don't get it that you're not supposed to level up your lifestyle for a year. She only thinks about the new cash flow with the new job. How do you explain that to someone who's been an employee all her life?

To her it's all about immediate gratis. I can choose to tighten my belt for how long it takes. The only time I get something is when it has to absolutely get it. What to do now?

Be in the light. Let it go. I am writing. This is where I am. This is where I be. What does that mean? I don;t know. It just came out. It wrote itself. Do I listen tune in to my friend? It;s something I enjoy.

And this is where I am now. I changed keyboard a few days ago. It's all dvorak now. No more of that programmers dvorak. I get dvorak anywhere anyway. I might as well stick with this for now. What else can I do here? I don't know. It's my shawshank. I am growing my bankroll this way. It's going to be my theme now. I am using the time to accelerate in my own light.

How do I remind myself of that? Write it down. I am going forward from there. Keep to the light. No need for conditions to be perfect. You already are perfect. There is no need to see the perfect on the outside.

What to do from now on? I don't know. Do I want to write tomorrow? I can, but maybe not needed. I can write after dinner or when I get home when I have more time. And what else is there? Only write and see what is in there. When you see it, then you see it.

If it's not here, then might as well see where things are going. Istopped listening to this one. And then what else is there? Why am I upset? I am judging something here? What can I do differently tomorrow? I have my own script in place already. Maybe I can ask people what it is they want to do. What else is there to do here. I don't know. Do this and see what happens.

Is this where I want to be? I don't know. I am autopilot on that level. I can add a key on that side. It will be bedtime soon. Wife knows I am upset. Can we talk later? She don't have that online? I think so. What is she doing? Stuff for the kids.

So be it. I don't want to do that. She can do that herself. I don't feel like writing. Why is that? I want to work on that thing. But why is that there? What can I do about it? I have my own paper. I don't have to bring that notebook. Or maybe get my own small notebook and grow from there.

How do you shawshank that? I don't know yet. There is here. Everything is here and now. What can you see around here? I don't know yet. It's only this. I only be here and see how it is all here. How did a lady like that be here? It's part of the equation.

What to do with this laptop? There is no good music in there. What can I do about it? Get a bigger one? Or is it something else in there. I don't know. Only be this here and see what happens. You see it all here. I am upset with the contrast.

Is there something else for me here? I don't know. This is also here. Is that deadpool? That looks similar. I think it is leading into something. Why did they have to change the voice? This is what people are into anyway. And what is possible for me here? I don't know.

Is there something else for me? I don't see it so there is nothing else here. Just write here for now. You will see it when it is there and in alignment. Do you want to work on something like that?

I want to work my own gig. How to get there? Grow your bankroll and see where it all goes. I am done with spending for this week and the next. Man. It's a long way from here. Next week and the week after that is where I am going. It's going to be a bit tight. Have I ever sold anything in my life?

I never heard anything out there that was an easy sell. People don't go there anyway. I think that thing I have is something that works. I was able to sell in that instance. How to replicate that? I don't know yet. Only that this is here and I write about it. Then write about it. I am here and there. My thoughts are that. So be it. Only write what goes on in the head and put it in paper.

Do I have to be something else? I feel like I am always going there. That tv has a purpose. That tells you it's a resource you can take when you need it. Right now I don't need a new phone. If I was getting something, then I can get something else. Where can I get money for that?

Go make the stop tomorrow if it's early. If it's not, then do something else. I can take the car and go there. Or go do something else. I wasn't really listening there am I. I see that. I am aware of that now. So be it. If I am not there then I can do something else. Like what? See the definition. Is it in alignment?

Probably not. There's not a lot of difference in the new layou. It's not impossible. I can do sometinhge her. This boy is growing up fast. Look at him. He's such a kid.

christmas day blog

I have framed the motivation, I think. They saw the tv ad. It's pointless to ask what they liked about the ad. You'll only get vague answers which you'll use up your three questions quick getting nowhere.

The better question is how can I afford it. The question in mind they have when they call is, can I afford it. Your job now is to turn that into how can I afford it. So how can you do that?

This is why I write. To explore options available. What are the options? How do you convert that? You tell them that it's an opportunity for them to see how committed they are to their goal. Not everyone is that committed. How do you find out?

You ask. How committed are you to achieving your goal. You won't get an answer to that of course. How do you break that ice? You spend time with them. You gain their trust. How do you do that? You tell them about yourself. You connect. How do you connect with them on two minutes? You ask about them? You give them what they want. Price. There's a risk there.

You give them the price and they will have an answer to can I afford it. So ask them that. Can I afford it. Some can, some won't. How do you weed that out. I don't know yet. What can I do then? Ask. Can you afford it? This is the price. Can you afford it? The better question is, how committed are you to achieving your objective. How do you find out what their objectives are.

You ask. Will you get an answer? Maybe yes, maybe no. more often than not, no. it hurts to be in the negative there because they can't afford it. How do you find their motivation to afford it? To overcome their present definitions. Things are moving now. There is that definition there. How do you get them to be in the light? You ask questions to get them moving along.

It's getting there. How do you shift into that? I don't know yet. All you can do is see how things go from there. I think it's going to be fun. It's that thing there. You can do something there and you can see. Be like a kid and ask them why. Ask them how committed they are. How is that possible.

I did not like that music there. It sounds flat. Maybe the jazz version is better here. An what else is there? This song is so around in christmas. I think that elf had something to do with it. It's a fun movie. That is good acting there. How did he get there.

How do you help htem shift? How to find that motivation? You can't assume that. You ask questions. You give them one, then ask questions. How to do that? That's a hot lady. Who is she. I don't know. That is something you can look into. I write and see what is on the other side.

And then what? I think it's like that and I am turning into a zombie. I am doing something about it so I can be in my own light. And it will take a year? Maybe. Everything is possible. Soon as I find the light, I can shift into it unconditionaly. No conditions. I think you see it there. That's what you do.

How soon? That's expectation. Only be in the light without conditions. The conditions will get you out of the light, not resonate. What you want is to resonate with it. And that's how you get to the other side.

Is that the answer you were looking for? I think so. And now you see where this is headed. And what else can I write about? Be fun. Have fun with it. How do you do that? Don't worry how to get there. You get there when you get there. You will know when you need to know when you need to know about it.

There's a lot in here for me. So be it. And I get to the light, get into frequency when I am the person in my own light. And I don't have to look for conditions. Only be in my own light. Do I have to listen to this? You don't have to. Only be myself and see what happens.

And this is what it is all about. Who made all that? I am listening to christmas songs. No need to get into facebook. It's a poison now? It's not my thing anymore. So be it then . This is a good song. I think I can do something here. I like her voice. I like the love story here.

This is what's interesting about it. I think you will see it when you get there. And that's what this is all about. How do you get to sleep. What to do tomorrow? It'll be fun. I think I was going there all along anyway. So be it. I can go to that gadget shop and see what's in store for me.

Do I want that phone. Soon as you shift into I want it here, then I can think how can I afford it. And right now, I don't really need it. I can do without it. So you get them to shift into I can't do without it. How do you do that? I don't know yet.

They are already there when they called from the ad. How you shift them into that is what this is about. I am have taken a big step here today. Do you talk about it? I don't know yet. I think it'll be there. One more step and you will see what happens. How did you decide to lose weight yourself? I got sick and tired of this condition. I think I am deserving of it.

back to new

Rather than work a job, i'd rather play poker staked. I do have expectations and I am aware of that now. How to get there? You know the steps. Get crackin.

I am also getting a second computer, or stick with this one, grow everything. It only takes one dollar big blinds to get to the hourly rate i'm in, maybe less. And I get to work when I choose to.

How much capital do you need? Two hundred, or two grand? I can also do that fx thing on the side. I trade day charts for that. But that's the next step in the iteration. What else is there? It's a job, and there also is dm I can do on the side. That's three.

I usually get to this when I have a job. That's part of the process. I see that. I am aware of that. I do this and ninety days, we decide how to go from here. In the meantime, you know what to do. I can do two hours of poker when I am at home. That will get things going again.

And what else is there? I don't know yet. For now, this is where I am. I think I know how to fo from here. I have everything in place. I don't have to talk to wife. I have a setup. Grow the bankroll to that level, then take things from there.

Would you rather do that with fx? I don't know. It is there. I can do stuff. For now, this is where I am. I have a path. I am happy about it. And everything is connected as you know. Do I have to do the laundry today? It's going to be sunny from here. I can bring them up later.

For now, finish writing. This is where I am. I can also do that website again, start updating it. I can then grow everything from there. I think the us is getting back online. So be it. And it's fun. And there's china. There's also india and philippines. There's a lot of them out there that want to get into that. And it's possible to get back on track.

How to do that? There's also russia. There's plenty of opportunity to get cracking. I think you see where this is headed. Go for it. Start your engines. I am going to have to reinstall stuff on this computer. At least I have something running again. Do that part time and see what happens. I have enough ammo to get going again.

So no worries when you get to that fork in the road. Wife may get worried about it. I think you know how things are going to go from here. You don't need that. You can do something else. Like what? Do you want to keep up the contrib or do something else with it? I don't know. It's already there. Let it run and see what happens.

I can use the commish to build up the bankroll. There are also other means but in the meantime, this seems like a good path. That's three businesses I can start when the path changes. I see that. It's time to set up.

How soon can I get stakes? Soon as I get things up and running. I think fifty grand hands is the minimum. You can take it from there. I also have the tools in place. You only need to set things up. I can start with that tonight. Tomorrow is also an option. I get home early tomorrow.

It's christmas coming up soon. I can go there. How many days to get to fifty grand? I don't know. I think it's good to go there again. I went through variance. This time, I can handle that better. I don't have to do tourneys. I like cash games better. There be sharks in there and that be fine. I will learn about their stats in the first fifty grand.

And as I go up stakes, I will collect more stats. I don't know how things will turn out but variance works both ways. I can get stakes and get coaching with that. I am excited that things are starting to fall into place.

I can talk about that and see what happens. And what else is there? There is that poker thing. I think you know where this is headed. It's not about luck. It's about stats and odds. How do you apply that to trading?

Variance is there. And you don't have to close out. Take advantage of what's there. Use it. I have this feeling in my hara. See it there. Be aware of it. No need to invalidate it. Everything is connected. You only need to see what is in the mirror. There is reflection and contrast. If it's contrast, or not what you prefer, then see the other two how they are connected.

This is why it's here. This is why you have it. It works for you. And this is why you are in this situation. You are here to see something . Now I see. Now I understand. And what else is there. It gets you to appreciate what was there but you did not see. You get that now?

Yes. I had it good back then. I had definitions that are not in alignment. So how to get there now? Grow the bankroll then see what happens. I think you know how this is going. And it's out there for them and that's alright. You know how things are going to turn out.

Be that person. That is your light. This is your path. This is your perspective. You are here for that experinece. You are here for that perspective. The universe, creation already has that other perspective. You only need to be in your own light.

and yet again

That be interesting. I can do this and finish writing. For now, this is what's interesting for me. When I finish, I do the laundry. Then I get ready for work. Wife is getting ready herself. I can hang out in the mall or something. I go early.

I feel like I am ready and good to go for monday start work. I have my script that I worked up and played with since yesterday. It's like being an athlete, a solo athlete and you don't play against someone else, but align with that self who is already in the top ten.

I am learning a lot in this process. I guess this is why it's here. I am learning how to read between the lines and respond appropriately. Maybe this is something that will come in handy as I integrate myself with all that is my path.

That's cool. The kids are at my friend's house. We don't have internet at the moment, they do. Kids want to conect and slept over. They are there for each other. My job here is done. I don't have to worry about them when they are older. They are there for each other now. I allow that. I am happy for them. I am hapy for myslef. Things are in place. You only need to check under the hood when you don't see it that way.

It has been raining since yesterday. I will go see the kids later after I finish here. I am doing morning pages. After this I have breakfast. Soon as I am done with that, I go to takapuna, library and then do something else. I might go there and ask who else wants to go. Or I can text them and see. Give them a call is better.

Maybe the kids will want to do something else. I think it's better that I stop over first and then see who else will want to go. It's raining a lot. I bring my jacket and that umbrella. I did not run today. It was raining and I woke up at three am to poop. I had carbs yesterday. Pizza. It felt good. I enjoyed it. No need to fight myself over it. It was my choice.

What's next here? I have breakfast then get going with my day. I have everything organized and good to go for monday. I do two hours with integrated self. Everything in alignment. I shift into autopilot and ther grow from there. Thrusday is going to get here son enough. Friday is my day off and sunday I start work again. Then the week after is a different schedule again. This is what my days are going to be like. I think the team is going to be in the same shift.

That be fine. I have all day anyway. I can use the free time to integrate everythig else, then choose what is relevant or me. What happened there yesterday? I think he is still anchored in the past. He was so anchored in the past. Why is that? Maybe that tells him who he is. It gives him identity. But these definitions are made in the present. Do I have such references ifrom the past telling me who I am? I think so. Yes. I wasn't that aware of them but notw I am.

How to work with that? Be in the moment. Everything is here and now. This is your opportunity right here to be the person you want to be. Check under the hood and see if everything is in alignment. If so, be in the light. That revs up everything. That is the ignition key that starts the engine. Be that and everything flows freely. How do you teach that to anyone?

Be the example they seek. No need to teach. That will only go over their head like water to a duck. I think that's what the saying is like. I can't ride, rather I choose not to ride today. Will I run tomorrow? I can go run later this afternoon. I can go run now. It's going to be quiet though. I can run tomorrow. I am off to a late start anyway. I can go after everyone has gone. I finish everything at ten then head off to work.

It's going to be interesting how things will go monday. It's first day with the new team. It's been fun. I wonder ho else is going to be there. Who else will be there is who you need to integrate with everything. So if it's there, that means there's a reason for it. So be it then. No need for expectations. Be in the moment. Seek ye first the kidngdom of god. Then all these things shall be added unto you.

I am not a christian but that phrase is apt to describe what I do here. I can look up other quotes but that is not here so I don't have to know about them. What else is there? Simply be this and see what happens. I wonder how things will turn out? No expectations. Only be this. I can tally up everything then go from there. But that might be expectation as well. Might as well have that in the head in the background and see how things go rom there. Don't worry about keeping score. Focus on what you need to do at that moment. Nothing else. Focus on the conversation. That is your see the ball, hit the ball. Answer all? Address concerns, then test close. If not, move on.

That is simple. I am simplifying everything here as I process the energy. My energy. So that monday comes and I start playing, everything is automatic. I had to stop for a few seconds to turn off the oven timer. Breakfast is ready? Not yet. That was for lunch and later on. I have chicken for lunch the whole week. How to not have breakfast? I think I can do breakfast for now. Two meals as that will tide me through until eight at night when I get out.

Wife is going to be there when I get in. I get home earlier than her and I can go back to pick up. I am changing my schedule again. The kids are growing up. Soon they go to uni. It's going to be me and the wife. At least I enjoy her company. We can stick with that. I don't know how things will turn out. I am in the path.

I am feeling so much better now with my work. It's a label. Work feels like work. There's a better word for it. My daughter sits on my pc to watch her movies now with these headphones. She says she can use something else, but this here are an awesome pair of cans. She'll be able to tell the difference over time.

Do I like those interstellar music? Some of them are good. This here cello music is good as well. I like listening to them. Kids are going to bed. Wife is probably going to have dinner. Son keeps kissing me goodnight, like three times before he finally settles down in his bed.

I decided to take a nap and woke up past nine. I must have been sleeping for an hour. I couldn't sleep earlier. I got up, sat in the living room with the kids discussing a lot of things. I found myself sleepy again and it was some time around eight. That was more than an hour's nap then.

I can go lie in bed later. If I can't sleep, then I can get up and do something else. How long will I stick with this job? I don't know. It feels interesting at the moment. Is there really such a good product? A good product stands out these days, specially when the competition is cheaply manufactured. You can tell immediately when you use a product if it's going to last.

This here at headphones are made in taiwan. The sound quality is excellent. I don't know how long this will last me. I am careful about using them. I use it a lot though. I use them whenever I can. I did laundry earlier. I am going to do another set tomorrow. Wife said she's going on leave on thursday to make sure the connection comes through.

That be good. The modem came in today after she signed up for it. It's vdsl/adsl combination. I think we can downgrade that. Is that bottomless connection? I think so. She knows that we need that. She is more budget aware than I am. These cello music I love to listen to them. Do I need high quality accoustics?

I can go check them out. It's pricey. Maybe headphones sound better alone. But that aired sound quality might come in handy. I can take a break on day off, but that is only going to slow me down. I will stick with this. I seem to have lost an inch from when I bought my pants. They are a bit lose now. I am not sure.

But I feel like I have lost some weight. I forgot to turn off the phone. Should I leave that charging? It's my day off tomorrow. I can leave that charging all day tomorrow. In the meantime, I enjoy cello while I write so I listen to my playlist.

It's going to be christmas soon. What do I get the kids? Second daughter likes them short jammies. Where do I get them? I would rather get them those tools, but it's over budget. Give them twenty each and that wipes me off. When is the next payday? Two more tuesdays from now. Not this tuesday, but the next.

Wife is going to use my pay for next week's grocery. I am on strict mode now. There were words coming out when I did not mean it. This day's calls were abysmal. Wife said the calls were low today. Is that my energy? It's a definition. Use the contrast then. Things change all the time. How to go from here?

Create that site. Offer value. People will buy that. I can do that on my spare time. And I can do an ad so when people look into that I can come up in that list. I already have something up and running anyways. What else is there for me?

This is page three. I write. Do I go back in bed? I can read later if I can't fall asleep. I do feel refreshed now. It was a good nap. The run this morning was longer and I enjoyed it. There was that familiar pain in the ball of my foot. I remember my karate days.

That was a long time ago. I then went on to finish aikido. And it's behind me now. And I am using the same principles in my job now. It's about testing something and adding that to my psyche. That's interesting. I was processing my energy that way early this afternoon. I had a lot of learning this past two weeks. This job got me extending my comfort zone. That is good. It feels good. It's interesting. I am expanding with that.

Now what? I am not exactly writing from the imagination. I am making a lot of changes here. What's next? I don't know yet. Only go for the interesting things. Everything will settle into place. What else is next?

Listen to the music. I will shut things down when I finish these. And then I can lie in bed. Wife has period. No sex for today. I wonder who else goes through these blogs? Maybe those who like to read unconventional things. I don't think my writing is mainstream. It won't appeal to the majority...and that's alright. I don't have to connect with anyone. This is practice writing.

I will finish these and move on. I am done now? Wife still has stuff to do. It will take her a few more minutes. What's next? I want to ride my bike tomorrow and go to the library. I can take things from there. Is there anything to eat tomorrow?

I think so. There's the beef ribs. I love that.

I feel like I am scamming people here. I guess this is the contrast that I need to process. The next tep in my evolution. It's not scammy. It's how you define it. I'd rather see it as a lesson in social interaction. Someone else is paying you to learn something from it. I don't have to hang out in that area. I can do something else altogether.

Llike what? I don't know yet. Only that you go deep into this and see what comes out on the other side. It's like going to prison and doing your shawshank redemption. That's what this is. What was his name? Andy. I cando andy. That will remind me of that story it is about story. Make your own story. People will love to listen to that story.

It's about a guy who went to prison and transformed everything and everyone around him. I don't have to be like them. I can choose and that is what it is about .you are always have presented a choice. Everything is an opportunity to be the person that you want to be. And it's here now. Everything is here now.

And I asked for guidance before going to bed. I woke up, saw the contrast and got my answers. Answers seem final. I was shown which road to take from here. I got my dircetions. It's my journey. The path is what I choose. This is what it's all about.

And I am changing internet sevrvice providers. Ours suck. I can do with something else. It's like a utility provider. You make sure that they get their utility and they pay you for that. If there were interruptions why should the customer pay for that?

It doesn't matter what caused it, if the power is cut, you get right to it. You lose this months profit on that one customer but you get their business the rest of the year. This is what and how I choose to do business. Do not hire managers and bean counters. They remove the connection with people.

Go after people people. People who can connect. That's what it's all about. And this could be an impetus for me to go there. I learn something I just learned something new here. What's next? Isolate? Scarcity. I see. It's everything there. Only that I write.

I won't be able to post this today. I will do so later on. For now, this is what I do. Ican spend mornings there but fifteen minutes is more than enough for me. I can sit in the park and enjoy the scene. Or I can walk around. I can even go to the lbirary. But fifteen minutes before time is more that enough.

When you sit things out, that's when you,... is ee. I had a throve of informaation that got downnloaded there. It's not there. That is not the reality that I am. It's different for me. Do I want to join toastmasters? I think there is a better way to do things.

I wonder if they do ab testing? Maybe so, maybe not. It's always there. Do something. Do this or that. It's all there. It's all connected. It's not that one is better than the other. Only that you each both have different paths. He's not protected? I think you nkwo how to go about this. And what Is the best way for me. Learn. There is something here for you. What are you getting out of it? So much. I am interacting. I am learning. Stick with this. I had stress coming home yesterday. It was that thing I had before. I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I see that now.

Move on from tere. I am getting a headache if I read what I wrote close the ees and start writing. You can edit these later on. These marketers, there is the sense of urgency about them always. I like andy. That's a good sounding name to use in the business. I can grow things from there. This is the path I am in. it's related. Trust me and everything else is going to grow from here.

If anything, I have changed my eating habits. I am leaner now than I was last week and my yoga has gone deeper today than it id the last time I traned two days ago. That is a positive and relevant direction for me. I am making lunch.

It just rang. I can read through the questionairres and go from there. I can do that. It don't matter that anyway. The structure is in place. You only need to test one script then grow from there. Let's do that then. You get that know in your stomach when you do not do it that way. Pick from there and see what happens. Always learn. There is always something to learn form the experience. Write notes. You can take the notes home at the end of the day and review them.

I can input them all later on. It's a social experiment. Remember that. And you can expand from there. No need to label as good or bad. Everything that happens is there for ar reasn use it to your advantage. It's not that people are gullible. It's only that you learn something from the experience. And you transform the dark into light. And not one of them is better than the other. Use the force. Aha. That guy there was the general. Vader knew how to use both sides. He was lord of the universe. Why did they not expound on that. And luke may not be s good as his father was.

How do you do that? See the path now unfolding? It's right in front of you. This is where you go now. It don't matter what it is. You labe them. And someone else is going to benefit from thee xperience. Even if they are going to pay tuition from it, you learn from the experience. Go from there.

everything here now?

I have time to write before I leave for work. It's a social experiment. This time tho, it shifted, the definition. I help people discover who they them see the definitions they keep.

It's in alignment, relevant to who I am. I had the insight when I woke up. I had a dream, poop was coming out of my pants and held it back, literally pushing it back. Then my uncle was in the dream. He found a lady he liked and they were going out. I remember this house with a red ribbon on it. Then I looked away, then back and the ribbon was gone. And that's when I woke up. Sitting up, I got the insight.

And I wrote about it. I put it down on paper. It's in my briefcase now. This is creativity at work. It flowed. I connected and got it down. It's there. Now I shift into that. The local mind wants to map everything out. It's better to use concepts instead than trying to figure out everything. It's like that compass and the map. The map is static. The compass is dynamic. And that's how I go do this. This is my process then.

Everything is expanding. Everything is accelerating. It's going fast now. It's like time is there, but I skip some of it. My phone is still charging. I have time to let that be. It's not a test, but contrast to see who I am. Everything is reflection. Life experience is a mirror. What you put out is what you get back.

Wife comes home early today. Do I get that phone? How can I afford it? That's the question you want to expand on? Get better call experience. Help people involved in your product. This is where I am now. It's the contrast I have. That means I also have the other end of the stick.

That's ego giving back the sups script. It's a show off. I will use something else. It's contrast to see who you are. It's not a challenge. It's telling you that you have the stick. You get one end, you also get the other. Everything is here and now. How do I shift into that? Yousimply respond as that person.

Every moment is an opportunity. Given or presented with the opportunity, you respond as such. Even if things don't work out as expected, you respond as such. That is the path here. This is hwhere I am. And please, no expectations. Only be in the moment.

I am going to stop by work and income to drop off some docs. And then I am off their back. I can check the phone later. This is page two. I am waiting for my chicken to finish cooking. I may have to check what the bus schedule is. It's twenty forty, or something like that. It's around the clock during the day. At night, they follow a schedule.

I feel this anxiety. That's ok. I allow that. There is a definition there that is not in alignment. This is why I feel this way. What's next here? Finish writing. One more page after I finish these. I have smaller font now. I was doing good in the morning. Taht's because I was an order taker. That's the contrast. Now I seek opportunity to respond differently. Then it's going to crystalize more. And that's where you are. You have shifted. You will get that opportunity all the time.

And how are things going to be then? I don't know. No expectations. See where this is headed and take it from there. No excuses. You don't have to be top dog. Only that you are in alignment and everything will expand from there.

Which comes first then? I don't know. If the oven dings, then I can take it out and see how that goes. Or leave it there for a moment to cool off. It's windy outside. This is the life now. This is where I need to be. I am getting something out of it. Use up the energy. The energy is there to help...get you to accelerate. Use thet energy. When it's all pent up, then things change. Everything is changing all the time. Billions of times per second. You don't see it because you only see that which is of the same frequency that yo uare in. test that. Change your frequency and you will see.

What is that frequency? No need to define it but you know that signature. Match that signature even if it don't make ense to you. At times the local mind cannot grasp what's there. Only with the heart that you see clearly. So let it be.

We get internet on thursday. That's two days from now. And then we can see what the schedule is going t obe next. It feels kinda isolated working in that environment. That's ok. I can work with that. I can even move to a different seat when I need to. And that's where everyone is. And that's what this is all about. It's three strikes. You get there when you get there. It makes sense the logic I present. I am not going to talk about the product. They already know that.

I have evyrything. They come up when they come up. No need to memorize scripts. You will know what you need to know when you need to know it. I have a guide. I connect with that guide all the time. No need to be a show off. It's there. I think it will help if we can play role.s to practice. But there's no time for that. And it's ok. This is how you learn anyway. And it's going to get better from here on, believe you me.

And daughter sees that I write often. I think I have enough heirloom in me to ...that they can have when I move on. And it's good. They have something that I had that will help them remember me by. You can talk about that. That is a concern for everyone anyway. They can talk about these things anyway.

And I don't have to address that thought. It's not here. When I get there I get there. I will know. Trust that. Know that. You already know that. Close your eyes and conncet when you go there. That makes it esay to emphatize with the person you talk to.

allow to be

There seems to be a lot of confusion in me so I am writing this out. If you don't make a sale, or get three unsuccessfuls in a row, you get a time out. How do you avoid that? Is there a trick to it? What if the person really can't afford it? Offer them the installments?

There's something fucked up with the system. It feels like there's a lot of trickery going on in there. First they don't give you the price to get you to call and talk to sales. It's a given that price is going to be expensive, but look at qvc. They make such great drtv it don't seem to matter how much the product is.

I don't think it's up to us to build value. It's the job of the ad to build value by presenting the facts. They call in wanting to know what the price is. They talk to someone and they get into a bucket which gets a callback. At times, callbacks are like two grand. There's a backlog because the callers get struck out to inbound when they don't make a sale.

Something feels not right about it. How do you deal with it? It's on the outside. You can't affect the reflection in the mirror. You have to smile first before the reflection in the mirror is going to smile. So how do you do that? You do your job. You have a good time with it. Are they going to ever get past that?

Don't bother with that. There is something in there for you. Am I not doing good rapport? What else can I do here? I don't think i'llresolve anything focusing on the reflection. At least I am here and have my foot in the door. It's now up to me to make something out of it. I don't think they'll listen to an outsider. I can follow my own path and be my own example.

One alternative is to branch off to something else. Like what? Real estate sounds interesting. There's something else. Dm? That sounds interesting too. Will that do for me? I don't know. All I know is that I go down this path and see where it goes. Then we'll see what happens.

Do I want that piece on my playlist? At times the playlist don't look nice. Maybe I can do something in here. I don't know yet. Act on your excitement, be in the light. Everything else false into place after that. You can't change the outside. You only shift into the parallel earth that is relevant for you.

Trust that for now. You will understand more soon enough. Things are going to change in two winters. This is connected to that. See how things go from there. For now, only do this. No expectations. Have fun with it. See where it gets you. There is something here for you.

And what about the expectations of other people? Let them be. It's not yours to carry. Set your own path and you don't have to look to anyone else. When you are in the light, everything else reflects off that. You will see contrast, but it's there for a reason.

Like today, there are things that will not make sense. Let it be. Only know that it's connected somehow, even if it will only get you to move in a certain direction. And that soundtrack is ok, I can keep in the playlist for now. It works ok when I write, keep it there.

And I got up and it was almost eight. I usually go to bed after nine. I want to pick up wife from work. I don't know if i'd still be up by then. She said it's ok if I don't pick up. Friday I can go get her if she has work. So be it then. If I can't sleep then, I will go. If I fall asleep, I see her the next day. I wish I could spend some time talking with her before bed time. She's a good friend altough she gets lost in her worries.

And I can't help her when she's in her dark side. You can't pull her out from there. It's a process that she has to go through. And I too have my own dark sides. I too have processes to go through. So be it. And the kids spent a lot of time in front of the tv. Son did not go to school today. He was conplaining of asthma. I don't think or know if wife called school today.

Other way, I can write a note for the teacher tomorrow. I can do that tonight before I go to bed. That way, I don't have to concern myself with that. This is a beautiful piece of music. There are several versions of this track. And I can listen to it when I write, or otherwise. I did not ride my bike today thinking it was going to rain. It didn't. It was cloudy all day.

I did the laundry today. I got so drained I had to take time out to rest in the bed. I did not get a shuteye though. I just laid there thinking. So be it. This is who I am now. I wrote not. Maybe that's what was meant to come out. I edited that. Should I go into copywriting? If things don't work out there, then I can do that, or go into csharp programming.

I can spend time learning that, or concentrate on copywriting. I wonder what that department is like. I can go look into that and see what happens. Maybe there is something in there. Do you want to go there? I don't know. Maybe it's about the conversation. Is it live? How do you write scripts for that?

I don't know yet. The way qvc ran the livestream, it felt like they knew what to say.

different me today

I switched to googel keyboard. I think the reason they kicked out kii was that it worked pretty much like google keyboard. What to do today. I did not do yoga earlier. It's a weekend. I can do that later. I have stuff in the phone now. Do I have breakfast now? I can do that no breakfast thing on weekdays when I have work. With the new schedule coming up, I may have a different setting for that. Do I go to the gym to workout? I don't know yet. Maybe there is something here for me.

Like what? Do I want to workout in a gym? It's going to bulk up things where I might not tneed them. I am all for strength training. I can test that out next time. There be ladies there you might want to meet. Wife is good. I don't have to make changes. It's like my bike. As long as it gets me where I want to go, it don't have to be snazzy. It only has to be functional and lets me make tweaks when I need them. Like linux. I hardly use windows anymore.

Maybe if there was a linux version of the things we use at work, then things are going to be so much faster. And I think it's more secure that way. They use them as servers though. I don't get why they not use them on the client side.

Maybe it's the javascript. I think that can be fixed. Most hacks work on windows anyway. A number that I see do not familiarize themselves with linux. Or maybe I am wrong. I was second guessing myself there.

So you want to be like harrison ford? Not really. I remember that mall. I was suddenly there. It's a different mall now. I don't enjoy going to malls. If I have to, I go in and out fast. It's just going around in circles doin nothing just go there until you run out of money. When is the next payday after this? I think it's before christmas. But you don't want to do your late shopping then. I would rather get my kids gifts on january afther they have a big sale. I can do that too. I can hand over some cash on that day for them to spend, then get them something during the year. I think it's better that way.

And I don't have to be like everyone else. I found a good keyboard there. It's based on that and I can use swype actions, or do the thumb typing. We'll see. The swype seems more forgiving for me. I have big fingers and I don't like hitting keys on the dot to type.

I miss being at work. It's already routine for me? I am on shift or the rush hour. This is synchronicity. It's connected. This way, I get to have as many calls that I can handle. I twill make things faster. The learning is going to be there. I only need to be in the light and everything will line up with that. What are the kids going to have for breakfast?

I can get them pansit for later and tomorrow. What else to eat here? I don't know. Payday is on tuesday or wednesday. It won't be long now. Only a few more days. We can handle and work with that. I think I have everything in place already.

Do I need a new phone? I don't think so. I can and would rather use that to register my own business and go from there. Or I can do something else. Like get my license and take things from there. I can do that. Then I can sign up for a motorbike. That be interesting how things go from there. That's an added expense for you that won't generate any returns. It's like buying a car. You don't want to go there.

So what can I do here? Be in the moment. You only need to be in this place to know what else you can do about it. Is there team thingies? I don't know but human nature leads me to find being in a pack. We'll see how it goes monday next next week. Second monday from now is the term more apt here. This is page three?

I thought I was still in page two coming into three. What to do on payday? I want to treat the wife out. We can hang out in the city. I don't have much on my todo list anyway. She deserves a date. We haven't been on a date in a long time.

City it will be then. We can go to that brazilian restaurant in the city. Can we bring the kids as well? That be interesting. I think we can do that brazil thing then. I like that restaurant. Let's do that. We can go there every payday. Or try a new one every payday. Then we are spending more time together then.

I enjoyed that back when we did that a lot. It's time to go there then. We take the bus coming home. I get the kids something for them to enjoy. Or bring home something for them. But if I have shift, how to do that?

Maybe I can do them on my days off. That way, it's a weekoend. The kids can stay at home. But I think she has work. We do it on mondays then when I am off. We can go on dinner. I treat the kids out in the afternoon. They are on school holiday anyways.

Son is up and awake now I am now...son is asking what to do on chistmas day. He's in charge of planning that day. Shops might be closed. There might be something else to do there. I might have work. I'll go check to see what day it is and how I will be working on that day. There's a good chance that I am going to be working on that day.

Maybe get something from my wish list?

topher grace story

Yesterday was interesting. I was paired with a hottie for introductions. She had short hair and tall, lanky. What's beautiful about her when she smiled? You can see that I look back to that a lot. I don't get that often around here. How is this synchronicity for me?

Inside out. You see beauty on the outside because there is beauty from the inside? And the people there were nice. And there was this lady who made a commitment to eat healthy. When I saw her again for lunch, she was having a donut—and some starwebrries. I guess the berries made it a healthy meal for her.

I was surprised that I only had one drumstick for lunch. That lady I mentioned earlier, she was on a budget and was looking forward to having noodles for lunch. I think it's not cheap. It's junk food put together that made the price low and affordable, but if you looked at the nutritional value, it's not worth it. But she's young. Her body will recover fast enough for it.

I felt old and fat sitting in the training room. At least that is my contrast. And things are already in that frequency. I only have to make it over time to crystallize everything. And that's the process right now. Do I need dacs? I feel like I can have them, but I get tired of listening to music all the time.

There be times when silence is golden. It's the zen thing again. I can run later when I get home. Let's see if there be games on the field later. Countdown was terrible. The other exit was closed becaues of construction. Traffic inside was terrible. It would have been easier to park outside.

But that was my process. I spent the afternoon with my son looking for secret santa stuff. Had my daughter gotten her shared lunch for tomorrow? I can ask her later. Maybe wife can get that on her way home this afternoon. There was a miscommunication last night and I picked up when she already went home.

Anyway, I had a good time listening to music so it was good. What else is there for me? Write and see what happens. I am editing some parts as I write? Then I am aware. There is awareness in there. Spendmore time in that light. How can you spend time in something when there is only here and now? Everything is now. So you are aware now. And there is only now. The energy changes.

Do I want to be travelling like that? It would be interesting to be there. I can do nz top to bottom. I can stay in hostels instead of a tent. That be interesting for me. But there be stretches when I will not have access to that. I can have a camper thing as well. Do I get that folding bike?

It will be nice to have that for when the wife and kids go out. That way, I have an option to come and ride my bike to explore when I get there. I can not bring bike today. I will look into the possibility of parking them in the basement, but I will have to ask this time.

Or maybe there is some other place where I can park it. The basement parking would be ideal for me. I will look into that. And what else is there? Go for interesting. Getting a house is interesting? Moving house is good. I pay rent so maybe I can invest the money in a business that will pay off that rent.

How much is it? One percent of something. And if I traded swaps, I think I can get there soon enough. When do you stop traveling? You don't. You only choose to stay in one place long enough before you start to head out again. I enjoy that so I am going to look more into that. I like the netherlands—amsterdam. That's my next destination. I can work there for a year or two before I move on.

That be an interesting lifestyle. I wonder if wife will want to be there too? We shall see. If not, I can do office play there for a while before I move on. Playing poker online is also an alternative. How much do you need to get started again? Do I even like grinding?

We'll see. I don't like to be tied down to something. I would rather have that swap business and take out profits every so often. I am looking into that now. It looks weak at the moment and you can do a short there. No losses. Only that you can't take money out on certain times. And while you are on it, you earn interest.

And that's the beauty of it. You trade like an investor. You only take money out, profits when it's there. You add more funds to it on a regular basis to keep things current. I can turn off that boiling egg now. But I can...and I can do that in a moment. I want to finish writing before I do something else.

It was nice to be labeled as smart by someone. It's not everyday that this happens. Do I need that? It was reflection. And it's nice to see reflection. There be contrast too. I haven't created something more because of the motivation. I can get back to that tonight.

What will I work on? Java and android. That is more interesting and things are always evolving for me. I am always learning something new. How do you hack into it? I don't know yet. I think the intranet is very slow. I can make something with node that loads faster.

earning potential play

I did not write earlier. I gotta move that coriander to another container, or at least add holes to the current bottom situation. I don't think it's draining enough. Is there another way here?

Daughter is asking for a phone. How to do that? I don't know yet. I can't give her mine as I don't really want to tie myself down with this expense. It's going to cost me at least two hundred to get a new one. If I go with a monthly tie, it's going to be painful and I won't be able to unlock it so I am going to have to use it continually.

I think there be a better way around this. Or do something else completely. Like company will get me that. But the setup is more important for me. I can move forward with that. How? It's going to have to wait until next year, or at least two paydays. What else can I do there?

Start operating as a business. And then what? Can I do copywriting with that? I don't know yet. Maybe start it like a consulting business? I can do that. Marketing consultants? Plain consulting is good enough. I can go there. And it will be like a multi-purpose thing. Should I do focus, or work with what I got. I think that makes better sense that way.

This spotify is also an expense if I let it. But I am going to do a lot of walking home from here on. The music may be good for tuning in there. Cello will make for a good playlist. You align with the quiet and it's good to go there too. I will look into that. I like this better than jazz. Classical with a lot of violins, maybe. But the cello has a deeper sound that resonates with me for me. It's that deep sonata—is that the right word?

Anyway, that's the sound. Wife says she can go half and half with the daughter's phone. We'll see how it goes. For now, only do this and get to the other side. I don't really need a new phone right now. Mine is working after I removed a few apps that was a drain on the battery. I think it was btsync. But I could be wrong. It could be something else that's always running in the background.

I like It's an expert site that a lot of us go to. I go there for reviews. I see what they are talking about and make decisions from their experience. There is not one expert. I don't think that exists anymore. Someone else can and will call it bullshit.

And that's why they were resistant about the amateur professional on the internet. They don't have control over the information. A lot of teachers in uni are like that. That means you have to go deeper into what you claim to know, otherwise, you get called out.

I have issues with that. This is good music. I like it. How about solos. Maybe I can get something in there. I will look into that later. And maybe get daughter that phone, or I can give her mine and get that for myself. I think that will work. She gets second hand all the time and she don't use it that well?

I don't know. I don't really need a new one. I would rather have a dac-amp for myself. But it's not really that much of a requirement. Then I can go from there. I don't think I like this one. Removed it. Not all in the playlist is going to work with you. Remove it replace it with something else.

And that is how it is with life. I think we are going to have good weather for the rest of the week. I am going to takapuna later to get more work clothes. I am going to redefine this. It's not work, it's more play. I get to interact with more people. There's potential for me to get back into copywriting or programming. Copywriting seems interesting and not a lot of people are into it or can tap into that creative flow.

I need to see their channel. Maybe there is something in there that I can go into on the internet. I can go there. I can do with a bigger phone. And what else? I am a marketing man. More like a social engineer. I think that is a better and more apt phrase, but it's still a label. It's an interest is a better word for it.

I can ask and look around once I get in there. And that's one of the first places that I go to when I get in tehre. I can offer my skills for free and work on it when I am in there. I can have coffee with whoever is in charge of that department.

But do you want to get into that? Only if I can get more out of it. It's that equation again? I think it's more if I will enjoy it. Or stay in sales and do that as a side gig. I can do that. What else is there for me?

I don't know. Finish writing and get to the other side. I think that direct mail word was noted down in the hr person. I think there was a note on that in the application reference. We'll see. Will that work? I don't know yet. We'll see.

If I can get gadgets for that and a better play situation, why not. Maybe I can play write outside and do telecommute playwork. That's how I call it now playwork. So it pertains to the job. And it's a better definition label for me. That works best for me then.

And I don't have to listen to anyone? Only what is the creative flow.

post mortem thing

Do more with less. This seems to be a part of my process or path. What am I getting out of it? I don't really need much to get in the light. I can choose to be in the light without much of anything. When I see the contrast, I can let go, or look into the source cod. One other option is to use up the energy. This is what I get out of it.

Does it serve me? I think so. There be times when I, the local mind don't get it, but I can choose to allow it to be so. No need to make it otherwise. And what do I get out of that? Idon't know at times. All I know is that if it's here, then there is something there for me. The local mind sometimes can't get why it is so, but understands that there's a reason for it.

I have been woozy since last night. It's all the junk I had yesterday. I put a reason in it that serves me. It's that fast going into the next day. I did not have anything for dinner other than coffee and diet soday. I can do without the diet soda, but it was there. I feel like there be gaps in my process.

I like the cherno project for java programming. It's starting to make sense. It's like c++ but with memory management built in. yes. It is like so. But there's still a big gap in there. Why the need for that? I do java to get into android programming. That seems, feels like something I can enjoy doing. Hacking into my phone and learning how to get things done.

Do I need a job for that? Not necessarily. I can get gigs here and there. That seems interesting enough for me. That's where I am headed. I can't get why people I know can't get into that when they need jobs? Like my bro and some people I know. But that's life. And when they retire, there is that nagging feeling that it's going to run out.

And I have that now? I think so. Then use the energy. What can I do here to get in the light. Let go. Be at peace. That is ultimately where you want to go anyway. You don't have tohave the outside reflection. You don't have to have the toys that go with it. Be in the light and the toys have a better chance of coming. Not that you need them, but that if it's relevant for you, then you will be having that experience.

I am feeling woozy. What now? This is day on. It's one year of this. Tonight is a test? It's contrast. I don't have to fight iti. I only choose which light to get into. I understand the challenge. I would rather label it as contrast. You need contrast for the reflection. It...they go together. You can't have one without the other.

Sometimes it may seem like the other, contrast is not there. It's like you have all dark without light, but light is there, you just can't see it then. And that's the nature of my experience. To see the contrast. It is this is that.

And there is so much to learn. I don't think it will end. It's expanding. You can go to a different level, but the level is already there, you just don't see it. There is so much to explore. And I can let go of all if I choose to. And it's still part of the whole.

I have the kids' lunch in the oven cooling off. When I finish writing I can move that out, then start wrapping them. One child is staying home. She is done with school. I can call the uniform shop and see if they are open today. I can go over and get the uniform.

I can bring along the existing uniforms to get their sizes right. I don't want to have to go out, but if this is the process, then so be it. Do I have to run? That is what I look forward to. I have one more page I am dizzy. I need water? Maybe this is something else. I took my bp last time and it was something else.

How to use this then? Am I scared of that word? Why? It was an unpleasant experience. It's the label I have. I see. It's like I have to deal with a teacher with a limited or different perspective. And this is why I don't like school. They don't get it. They got carried away with the labels.

You don't teach. The students learn. They are not even students. They too can teach. It's just that they believed in the label and never seem to question anything about it. And this is where the path goes. You can go deep into the forrest and get the experience. And that is the learning process as well.

And how do you get out of the forrest? You choose it. Or you don't have to get out of the forrest. Maybe the forret will change. Maybe it shifts into something else. Maybe that is so.

Why is wife up early? And what was that vibe about? It's probably gmail sending stuff. I have gone forward from here. No need to deal with the past. It's an illusion. Everything is here and now. I can look under the hood when I am here and now. Sometimes it's hard to work with the reflection. You think that the reflection is reality. It's not.

What then is real? Your experience of it is real. How do you grasp that? Go inside. See the awareness. That is the one having the experience. And how do you connect that with reality. I don't know. Is she going to workout? I think so. She is getting her cup of water. She is going for the workout. I can get a video of that and put it in plex.

That way, you don't have to get the dvd. I can look into that. Maybe get that as a gift for her out of nowhere. She has been losing weight. She runs everyday. I don't think she is running today.

dlang to light

Surprisingly, I feel that I get better random plays with vlc. Spotify they are getting plenty of complaints with that on the net. This old friend, through his partner wants to know if he can hang out. I think that was unnecessary for both of them. She blurted it out when he could have asked me straight on.

I think there wasn't enough interaction going on in there. I reached out with that meetup but he did not reply. I went sms and email. No reply. He knows where I like. He can come over anytime and he'd be welcome. I have a lot on my plate at the moment but he can come hang out. He's got a laptop anyways.

I had a great time last night with the family. They are part of the family. There was a moment there when we could have started arguing or shut down, but wife was patient and allowing. That was good.

Interstellar got a lot of talk in social media but the movie was kinda boring. It's just that the concept in the story—metaphysics was new for a lot of people that got them thinking and talking about it. I think the movie would have been better, storywise. They could have gotten rid of the mann fork.

Everything is connected anyway. They could have used a more boring path where there was no conflict but more reflection and contrast. But that's hollywood. How to do that then?

I don't feel like the music in the background is helping there. Better to do this instead. How can you make that story better? What were they rtrying to solve? How to get plan b to work? Get people off the earth with that space station. That was the more immediate problem. It was more economical and more effective to do plan b but they did not have the whereabouts how to make it happen. They can build a space station outside of orbit, but it is going to be more expensive.

I think they were writing the story based on today's tech. That is how they want it to be more believable. But what if there was outside colab? It's going to happen in 2016 anyway. The technology is going to be there the earth, if it were dying, is a reflection for the mass consciousness. At that instance, everything they do would be in futility, unless they, the lead character were in a positive alignment., in the light.

If they were in the light, then they would have shifted to an earth that was more in alignment with who hey were. There was no need to save the planet. So it was going around in circle. I was shifting in my seat. That was a boring concept and hollywood couldn't profit from that.

Why not onecharacter shifting in that context, then saving the world. Then he would have to live in an oyster for a while. And how would that happen? Live in a farm, yes, with his family. There will be that situation to hack. The earth dying and need to save the people? Not save them. More like hack up something to be in a slightly better situation. Something that will be interesting for that hacker.

Maybe he is part of a community of hackers online and they work together to come up with a solution. Steve jobs was selfish to take linux and make money off it, but it did bring to light that you can use linux and make it work. It's that open source community. But not to use it to profit for yourself. You do it to grow the community.

Did he give back? Who is giving back? Linus. He is not making a ton of money off his os and that stillman guy. These two people made a lot of work into it and never became billionaires. And that is where you want to be? If there was interstellar, then they are going to be a part of the story. At least people like them.

Instead, it was up to michael caine to solve the equation. I don't think he was even a hacker. He was a teacher and as teacher. He wasn't in a positive field. He was solving the problem by himself. And that's what was missing in his equation.

Everything is here and now. That means you wil use other people's perspective to get a different light on the equation. You show it to someone and see what they think of it. And how to get there? Do you need a virtual machine? Probably. But the way things are going, you learn how to program, then take it with the more apt programming language. Dlang sounds good for me. That's how you get there.

Is google going to be there? They seem to be doing all the right moves right now. Maybe they'd still bethere. But android is closed off. You can't open source anything else. That has to evolve. How?

I don't know yet. And google can buy that when that happens. But mincraft is an examlpe there. You can make something big out of it. How? Be in the light. Finish that tutorial and go farther than that. Ubild on it. You can create that ai and make it go from there.

What is the material? I don't know yet. That is further down the line. How are you going to get it to work? Connecti t with your aveareness. That is more apt than letting it learn by itself. Connect it with your algorithm. Then it iwill be an true extension of your awareness.

And I got this insight last night. It's not that the answer is comig form the outside anyway. I haven't been there for a few days. I don't have to anymore. I get the answers anyway. And the timing is always perfect for that. I can go to the tcity for this. I can go far with java with this anyway. And I don't have to go there. It can always be here. How? Go there. Be in that light right now.

south park redefine

That was the intention? What was? I don't know. It came to mind, that phrase, so I wrote it. I have pizza cooling off in the kitchen. That's what the kids are having for school lunch. It's a thursday. We had another situation last night as we headed to the grocery.

I felt that she was mean to my son when he told him we don't do grocery on wednesday. I could see him start to tear up but was keeping it inside. She could have said that in a more empathic way, but she didn't. She just put it out there not caring about how it makes people feel.

My son was looking forward to being with his mom and dad. It turned out to be a bitter experience. What did I get out of it? I saw the baggage she was carrying and would not let go of. She said she was under stress, but where was the stress in that moment?

My philosophy is that if I can't do anything about it in any given moment, then I let it go. It's not the right time for it. I cross the bridge when I get there. Doing so, I pick up things that's there. I don't know how it will help but I know that it's connected and may come in handy when the bridge is there.

She don't see it that way. Her way is to think about it until she finds a way to solve her problem, then hold that light until she gets to the bridge. I am done showing another way. She just can't see it. And this gets me upset because I am letting myself get affected by this.

What am I getting out of it? Control. Local mind wants to control the turnout. But you don't have to. You know that if and when you get into the light, you will see the reflection. There be contrast, but it's there so you have a choice. And that choice is still part of your process.

And right now I have this baggage that I should be retiring but instead I am on the lookout for work—in IT. It's like me reinventing myself again. Why do I not want that? I want to be in that light, but have definitions that are not in alignment. Then you know what to do first before taking another step.

And this is why I write.

How do I redefine that? It's not that I want a job. I am doing this because I feel like this is a part of my process to expand in computer science. That label, computer science is so out there for me. How do I redefine that?

Working with code. That sounds better. I'll find the right set of words later. For now, I can call it IT. And will use that. It's shorthand and I know what it means. So how do I redefine this? I don't have to convince anyone why they should hire me. I offer solutions that they might need. If not, then I move on to something else.

And I don't have to be someone else. I only have to, is that the right words for me, align myself with being that person with my solutions. Everything else will go for that. In the meantime, I have things lined up for the day. I am not running today, but if that sounds good later, then I can do a make up run.

I did seven rounds in the field yesterday. That was almost an hour of running and I was at peace after round three. At peace means everything was sync'd up. I was in the zone. It was a slow run, but I was enjoying it. I can run today, then take a break tomorrow. Or I can go for a walk and do yoga later.

I can do yoga this morning before brunch, then walk when the kids get home. It's not that I don't want to be with the kids. It's the pattern that I am changing. I see the pattern and find the motivation behind it. The trigger was when the kids are home and I am hungry. Besides, I have stuff to listen to while doing yoga. I do it in the living room this time. And that feels good for me.

It is a bit cold today. I can watch the series I found that makes me laugh. It is slowing down after the first three episodes. I wonder if they can keep it up after season 1. sometimes you don't have to have season 2. you can create a new one and expand from there.

Can I write that instead? I am an explorer? Im a. in the old days, you go about, find a place you can settle in, then stay ther. When the bug comes itching again, you pack up and go about again. Maybe that's how that guy did it in the man from earth. I want to see that movie again. I can do so today.

I can choose to take it easy today and nurse myself, be kind to myself. That's how I find alignment. I be in the light. No need to push things to make things happen. I know that now. And what you know is what you are. You act on it. No need to push that on someone else. And how toget there?

Do I have to run a big org like someone else? I would rather travel light. I would rather go on a bike tour and do stuff. Go ride to leyte and spend a year on that. I like that. How to get there? You need something that will run by remote control. I don't know yet. Maybe an online game with freemiums the way south park defined it.

That was a funny episode. Do you want to see more of that? When the kids watch it, I can see it with them. I spend so much time with them. Sometimes I just enjoy being with them when they get in the car. They feel the tension too you know.

I did when I was a kid. Even if I am quiet about it, I hope they didn't. But it's there. Maybe there is something there for everyone.

do you write?

I have something in the oven will ding in about ten minutes. I stop writing then to turn it off. I don't feel like writing but it's habit sort of. So I write. There's not much to do. I can respond differently in the moment. That changes everything. I shift. And there are plenty religions. How do they wake up?

Maybe if they find life in a different or outside earth. But religion can easily change their books and references. No need to convert them. They get what they have in their source code. And it gets tight to shift with too much bloat. And that's how you shift. No need to teach that. You teach by example. No need to fight them. It's how you are. It's how you respond. And I can be in my own light. No need to get others with you. You shift to a dimension where they already are. Or at least you find people in alignment. Not necessarily the same signature, but it's the same frequency, almost.

You can expand from that. It's your choice. This is why I seldom go there. Too much inertia to go through. You don't want that. It's like they are still in the dark and when you tell them there is a choice, they fight you because they are having such a hard time in there.

I can disappear from their choice and live my own life. And that's what I did. That's what I am doing now. It's the difference between facebook and reddit. It's almost the same, but reddit for me is more on the edge out there on the edge and facebook is safe and forgiving.

But it's your choice. No need to push that choice to someone else. My kids are tuning into reddit. It's more in alignment with them. More so when you see how deep it goes. As in it goes really deep and you find people with the same interests as yours and you grow from there.

I can revert back to that profile now. What else is there to do? Not much only be in your light. There is nothing out there. I vaccuumed my area yesterday. Or was that the other day? I still have ten minutes to go. I guess one page is like five minutes. More less when I don't edit. But sometimes it's like that forecast for today is rain. This is spring.

I can run later. I bring the car to wife later this afternoon. The kids go to school. One stays home. I run later this morning. That's my itinerary. That's who I am today. I was dizzy yesterday. It's the shift. My local mind is trying or catching up to it and felt the transition in the physical mode.

What to do? Let the body catch up. That is how things are grounded. It's all physics and energies. And that's why there is no god as everything is god. Everything is awareness? Consciousness is the more apt word as awareness entails the senses somewhat, based on how I define things. There's a difference there.

So how do you measure awareness? It's a step down. There must be something in there that you can measure. Maybe the electrical impulse is generated when a response is made. You can work with that. But how do you determine its direction?

Mabye when it spikes higher somewhat. But not really that is the next question for me then. I am going to experiment with that and see how far it'll go. And then do something about it? Python seems logical as there be libraries to get the job done. I can go lower when I have the model working. For now, python is where you want to go.

Ruby seems like a good fit. It has less baggage. Python has backward comp issues. It's the same almost with the libs. What now? I don't know. Node maybe? It's all there anyway. I see. But I don't have to cross that bridge if I can't find it. Universe is telling me you don't need it. This is how I live now. This is how I respond. Not here means not for me.

I am moving from that. What else is there? Meetups seem to be quiet. It was the weekend. This is the start of a new one. Do I go check that out? Not quiet. Only write and get to the other side. I can go and close my eyes and still write. I can request for that and see what happens. And that is why I have this layout. It's a step up but you get there eventually.

And this is why it's connected. Things are like this. I slept early. Son kept doing his goodnights. I love that kid. That was a release. Yes. It has been an upward spiral and it's all good. It's all connected. I wouldn't be who I am if it was not there.

How to go from here? Finish writing and get to the other side. If it dings, then I am finished wiritng. Eldest daughter leaves around lunch time for school. I may be out running then. I don't have anything until after I run. The sooner I run, the sooner I get breakfast.

It might rain so it's going to be a quiet run. Or I can bring my rain jacket while I run. That keeps me company in the meantime. There be something to listen to and I am taking a call. And that's how the day might go. Things can change and I am open to that.

Last night wife ran over my plants. I had to move them and it's quite safe now sitting near the fence. She'll have to run down the fence to get to them. And it's growing alright. I have to water them when it's not raining though. That is part of the equation.

Do I want to live rural? Maybe so. If it's in that snow region. Then I can go to that snow mountain on weekends. Do I want that? I can even ride my bike there. I can talk to people that way. There is always something to do to connect.

hills and mountains

I am enjoying my new playlist. I ran a search for audiophile and found it. I've been listening to this since last night. I don't have to ramp up the volume. It's better on low slightly below mid level. That way, my ears do not fatigue as much when listening.

This is what being a connoisseur and gourmet is. I can play with that frequency and use it all over. I have interview later. This company needs my help. I can go there. That be interesting for me. It's a step up, not down and it's part of the process for me. It's alignment. And a diversion. I am going to get plenty of ideas there.

I can develop the programming skills in the meantime, build something. I am playing with python and javascript. The idea will come and make things interesting. And probably move to the city soon as I see the path. Things will align for me and go when the timimng is right. I don't have to make things happen. Everything will fall into place.

Eldest daughter is not leaving for school until after or around lunch time. She can stay with son in the meantime when I go. I be back by the time she leaves for school. It's thursday. Keep to the light. I can go in the dark as well. It's not this or that. It is this and that.

And this I have been learning all this time. It's more like unfolding as everything is here and now. It's been there all along. I only need to switch to that channel to reveal it. How to go from here? What's the next step? Look for what is interesting. That tells me that is where I need to put my awareness.

It may seem irrelevant, but it is because it's interesting. It has that signature. It has my name. So I go there. I do that. I wonder when I am supposed to start training? Maybe two weeks. That's usually how long the ad will run, then they interview as they come in. when they have the right number to fill in their bucket, they process everything.

In the meantime, I can enjoy the process and see how things go. It's a panel interview. They want this over and done with as soon as possible. I may be different from everyone else. That's ok. I can do something here. And if I don't get it, then it's telling me to go this way instead. That is a possibility and I am ok with that happening. No need to invalidate. It's still me.

Use the energy and move forward from there. What else is here? I can go to the toilet when I finish this. No laundry for today. Enjoy the process. I don't think that part there is relevant. Only get to the other side and see what happens.

Everyone is private and want their own space. They asked. I did not offer. And I can and am allow that. No need for grammar correction. It's getting the message acros as it sticks to the awareness. And that's where you want it.

I don't know how I can be of service in there. I can look at the source code, then make changes where needed. But from where I am now, I don't know what's next. So I only look to the other side. It's not this or that. I only write.

I found this friend on fb. She's a good friend. She is a good person. Big heart. I am pleased that she held on to the friendship. But she is too far from me now. We only connect thru the net. This is how the world is smaller now. The connection is there, but it's starting to blur.

What's next for me? I don't know. All I know is that I take the next interesting step. No need to resist. Everything is connected. If it's there, it is there for a reason. It's for you, like a present on an ordinary day and you don't know why you are getting a gift.

That is an interesting way to see it. This is page three. I have audiophile music. No need to push out the others. They too are interesting. As this one is. I am listening to tom hopkins on my free time. I have these headphones while I sit. It puts me in the light. Or I can let the awareness wander. It wants to play out like a child.

And this is all connected for me. I don't have to be someone else as that path is not mine. Their path is different and not mine as well as the point of view. And another great track is playing.

I can make this is my other writing playlist. I am a writer? Better to put a question mark there as it makes the statement open and malleable. You don't want it etched in stone. It can be, but it's not what I prefer. I can change as change is the only constant.

And it is always changing anyway. How to go from here? I don't know yet. Do I want to go to school. I can do that. But it's not as fun as I thought it would be. I can do something else in the meantime. I can and am homeschooling myself. I am always learning anyway.

To see what is coming is unreal. The local mind can make it up, but the best position for me is to keep it open. I like this track that's playing. Everyone is still in bed. Maybe I can get an upgrade when I get there. That way, I can listen to this when I go offline.

Also get a sony. I think the quality is better than samsung. They also have that walkman which plays good material. I have vlc too. That works well for me. There be others, but these two are tried and tested. I can play with that. I am losing interest in this writing now.

At least I am almost done here. It's always like these when I get near the end. Why not go four pages instead?