meaning my own
Wife is in worride mode again. This time we had an argument. I think there's something wrong with her mentally. I asked about that incident in rotorua and she said she doesn't remember—or not want to talk about it.
I am still baffeld by that. My daughter did not want to join this activity and she started crying about it. That doesn't happen at all. That she was crying about it in public tells me that it's important for her not to go. But wife insisted and was angry with daughter. I picked my daughter's side, as usual and she was angry about it.
Last night I asked her what was going through her head at that time and she said she “doesn't remember”.
She wants me to stop what I am doing and get a job. That she is having a hard time with the budget. But it's just her going to spend all that money. I have solutions on how to make things work. She don't want to hear about it.
My solution is homeschool the kids. They don't want to go to school anyway. She says that the school system here is very good. That they are going to very good schools. At this time, if you ask them if they want to go through university, the answer is no. they keep saying that they don't want to go to school. If it were up to me, have them home school, then move to a vone where the rent is lower. Also get rid of that car. That's a lot already save up for a year and then we are better off next year. But she don't want that. She wants me to get a job.
But my system works. My life works. She wants me to give it up and do what she's doing. Her system doesn't work and now she wants me to give up mine and start pushing things the way she's doing things. I don't think that's going to happen.
I told her I am open to her ideas but is she open to mine. The last time I tried to inquire about homeschooling and she found out, she did not talk to me for several days. I think I know how this is going to turn out. It's time to go.
That stopped me there. How are things going to turn out?
I don't know. And I don't have to know. All I know is that if I put myself in my light, things are going to work out. Everything will fall into place. Things are in place and worknig very well. Hers doesn't and she can't get it.
I am not going there anymore. Should I be sleeping in the couch from here on? I think so. It'stime for me to be more of who I am. I can go there. I have this choice. I don't have to go with her. Not that I am invalidating hers, it's just that I am choosing my own. This is what I prefer my own.
This is how I vent. I don't know how things are. My synchroniciies are lined up and working well. How is this incident related? Trust that it is and that it is there for a reason. You can't see what' coming up in the next bend, but if you stay in your light, choose to be in the light, then everything will reflect. You will see what's up.
No need to fight things. It is all mine. I go sleep in the couch tonight. It's different now. I think it's time to move out. Where to sleep? In here in this corner. I don't have to go there. It is my choice. This is where I am.
I don't think I want to go there. This is hwere I am. I am open to synchronicity. This is where I choose to be. No need to judge her ways. It's not my way. I don't have to go there.
It's not even my duty to get a job. I am helping out. I get the kids ready for school. I make sure that everything is working perfectly well. I will bring the car over to her later but I don't have to be there with her.
I can get my own food. This is how things are going to be from now on. There is going to be anonymity. I don't even have to go with them to taupo. It's not me. The kids are going to have a grand time. Or maybe go and be with the kids.
They know who's side I am on.
I don't have to make a big deal out of it. I am doing this. This is where I am. I think she is spending and not considering that money is and should can be working for he. She don't see that.