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I am feeling frustrated this morning. Son woke up and I feel resentful that I have to do things for him. I love this kid, it's just that I feel like I am not who I want to be. I am not blaming him. It's just this deefinition that I have that I am not. I see that. I have a choice on how to think. I choose differently. I respond differently and by choice. I choose not to respond to what is on the outside. This is the choice. I choose to respond as I am now. There is only here and now. That is the response I am.

And it's a monday. I like mondays. I look forward to it. I get back to trading on mondays. This time, I am going to be careful. I can go out and run this morning. Nothing to do here anyway. I can do yoga latter this afretnoon.

I think i'd like that. I can run seven rounds of my usual. There is no hurry. I don't, rather choose not to trade on mondays. Although this is good for trading a range bound market. Is there news coming out? Three for the yen. I can watch that and trade accordingly.




Also, there is the need to go switch brokers because of the pamm accounts. Also wanting to test out ecn and stp brokers. That is the next step for me. It's not here yet. That is expectation then. No need for me to go there. I stay in the light here and now. I respond as such.

I don't have to figure out how to get there. I only do this and get in the light. If I move there, so be it. If I don't move there, then so be it. I have an application sent. I get a response later today or sometime tomorrow.

I think it's good that I start going there. I will have to make changes there. No need to pay the commission but if it leads to better trading, then so be it. It's not the spread. It's how you close your trades.




How to do that? Be in the light. Respond as that person is. How to do that? Only be that way. Bring it here and now. There is only here and now. The definitions in your head and your emotional response is what makes it real. It is how you get to experience things. You see that? See it and process it all .bring it here and now. This is the process that I am in.

surprisingly, we had great sex yesterday morning. There was a lot of empathy there. How did I get there? I felt it. I don't know. What I remember is getting this thought to send that energy as I hugged her. She felt it. She said it felt good. That is something new to my arsenal.

Last night we just went to sleep. I was tired. I wanted to sleep. She had to finish something and I couldn't go to sleep until she was in bed as well. That be nice. What to do now?




Finish these. Third daughter is not going to school today. Forecast is rains. What to do now? We shall see. Only do this. No class tomorrow. I have forex meeting on wednesday. I am meeting with other traders here in auckland. It's good that we have such networks. This is how things are. It's great.

I think it would be great if my bros can be here too. With their family. So be it then. Things happen if they happen. If not, then it is there for a reason. I don't have to go that way. What is next? Only be in the light. Sometimes I have to be careful with the words I say. But that is only there. No need to fight it.

Did she respond to that? I don't know. I think I messed up there. Do I have to apologize for that. I know I messed up. It is up to her to process that. She takes things personally. I guess that's what the response is there.




And it's awkward having someone else in the house. But that's the reality there. So be it. If it's there, then it is there for a reason. Why won't they go there then? I don't know. It's not home. It's not who they want.

If I were in manila, this is what i'd do. But this is not good trading as the internet is too slow. I think this is where I need to be then. So be it. A lot of things are happening right there. Only get to the other side. Do I have to finish that book? There are still things to do. Be in the light.

It's like there are a lot of fillers in that book. Where do they get these ideas? I don't know. It's about writing. You show up and punch the keys. You write down whatever comes to mind. I will edit later. The mind knows that. There is the writing and then there is the editing later on. You can't do both, otherwise quality goes down.