I am upset. My son is having anxiety about going to school. He wants to stay at home and be homeschooled. I am not sure he understands these things, but I amconfident that I can come up with a curriculum that he will enjoy. It's just that I have to deal with a wife that doesn't get it.
And we are going out of town this weekend and I am supposed to keep my mouth shut. There's a lot of resentment in me. I like this music. It's nice and easy. It puts me in the light.
This is why I go to soundcloud. It's not commercial music. It's music made by people who are passionate about their genre. It doesn't have to sell. What they are after are likes and recognition(?). I wonder if that is the right term for that.
I am going to pick up son later before eleven. That's their morning tea. He doesn't have to stay at school all day. If I had homeschooled them, what will they learn? Programming first and foremost. I am going to teach them how to create websites. They will use google a lot. They will learn how to think for themselves.
And why is there contrast with the wife? And why am I upset with that? Why can't I use that? Because I can't use it. The only way I see that I can use it is to cause me to move in a certain direction. To change myself and move out. Will that break the family? How will that affect the children?
It's going to look like I broke the family. But in a higher perspective, she was the one who's negative. I have been positive all this time. Not moving with my synchronicity only causes pain for myself.
What now? Use the energy. Something is going to watermelon here. It can't go this way or that. Something big is bound to happen. Will I be ready for it? I think so. I have been in the light all this time. Surely something is there. I don't know what it is right now, but I have been in the light. Anything and everything that will happen is going to be a reflection of my light. No one is to blame. There is only here and now. Everything is here and now.
Can I write about this? Of course I can. It's why I am writing. It's why these things are happening, so I can write about it. I have been in so much pain these last few days. Robin williams' passing was the trigger. It was a big happening. And he was a willing participant there. It hink he knew what was to happen, in a way. Maybe the local mind couldn't grasp it, but from a higher perspective, everything was good.
What to do now? Finish these, tthen post. Then I will look around for what's next. The kids' room needs vacuuming. This nook of mine needs vacuuming as well. That's going to be next. Then I go out and pick up my son from school. If he's not there after a few minutes, I go and get him from the classroom.
How are things going to happen? No need for resentment. Use the energy to get you going. No need for judgement. This is why I write. Things get clarified when I write. No need to process them in my head. By putting it out there, I get to clarify things in myself.
And what happened there? I don't know. I feel lighter now. Do I save this? No need. I can record my playlist and have it saved. Or not. Maybe I can go through the process and not be someone else. Wife does not get it. She thinks that her job and income from that is sufficient. Maybe it is. She is right in a way. Everyone is. It is their part of the universe.