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state my being

I am upset and pissed. Wife bought a new tv. She don't get it that you're not supposed to level up your lifestyle for a year. She only thinks about the new cash flow with the new job. How do you explain that to someone who's been an employee all her life?

To her it's all about immediate gratis. I can choose to tighten my belt for how long it takes. The only time I get something is when it has to absolutely get it. What to do now?

Be in the light. Let it go. I am writing. This is where I am. This is where I be. What does that mean? I don;t know. It just came out. It wrote itself. Do I listen tune in to my friend? It;s something I enjoy.

And this is where I am now. I changed keyboard a few days ago. It's all dvorak now. No more of that programmers dvorak. I get dvorak anywhere anyway. I might as well stick with this for now. What else can I do here? I don't know. It's my shawshank. I am growing my bankroll this way. It's going to be my theme now. I am using the time to accelerate in my own light.

How do I remind myself of that? Write it down. I am going forward from there. Keep to the light. No need for conditions to be perfect. You already are perfect. There is no need to see the perfect on the outside.

What to do from now on? I don't know. Do I want to write tomorrow? I can, but maybe not needed. I can write after dinner or when I get home when I have more time. And what else is there? Only write and see what is in there. When you see it, then you see it.

If it's not here, then might as well see where things are going. Istopped listening to this one. And then what else is there? Why am I upset? I am judging something here? What can I do differently tomorrow? I have my own script in place already. Maybe I can ask people what it is they want to do. What else is there to do here. I don't know. Do this and see what happens.

Is this where I want to be? I don't know. I am autopilot on that level. I can add a key on that side. It will be bedtime soon. Wife knows I am upset. Can we talk later? She don't have that online? I think so. What is she doing? Stuff for the kids.

So be it. I don't want to do that. She can do that herself. I don't feel like writing. Why is that? I want to work on that thing. But why is that there? What can I do about it? I have my own paper. I don't have to bring that notebook. Or maybe get my own small notebook and grow from there.

How do you shawshank that? I don't know yet. There is here. Everything is here and now. What can you see around here? I don't know yet. It's only this. I only be here and see how it is all here. How did a lady like that be here? It's part of the equation.

What to do with this laptop? There is no good music in there. What can I do about it? Get a bigger one? Or is it something else in there. I don't know. Only be this here and see what happens. You see it all here. I am upset with the contrast.

Is there something else for me here? I don't know. This is also here. Is that deadpool? That looks similar. I think it is leading into something. Why did they have to change the voice? This is what people are into anyway. And what is possible for me here? I don't know.

Is there something else for me? I don't see it so there is nothing else here. Just write here for now. You will see it when it is there and in alignment. Do you want to work on something like that?

I want to work my own gig. How to get there? Grow your bankroll and see where it all goes. I am done with spending for this week and the next. Man. It's a long way from here. Next week and the week after that is where I am going. It's going to be a bit tight. Have I ever sold anything in my life?

I never heard anything out there that was an easy sell. People don't go there anyway. I think that thing I have is something that works. I was able to sell in that instance. How to replicate that? I don't know yet. Only that this is here and I write about it. Then write about it. I am here and there. My thoughts are that. So be it. Only write what goes on in the head and put it in paper.

Do I have to be something else? I feel like I am always going there. That tv has a purpose. That tells you it's a resource you can take when you need it. Right now I don't need a new phone. If I was getting something, then I can get something else. Where can I get money for that?

Go make the stop tomorrow if it's early. If it's not, then do something else. I can take the car and go there. Or go do something else. I wasn't really listening there am I. I see that. I am aware of that now. So be it. If I am not there then I can do something else. Like what? See the definition. Is it in alignment?

Probably not. There's not a lot of difference in the new layou. It's not impossible. I can do sometinhge her. This boy is growing up fast. Look at him. He's such a kid.


christmas day blog

I have framed the motivation, I think. They saw the tv ad. It's pointless to ask what they liked about the ad. You'll only get vague answers which you'll use up your three questions quick getting nowhere.

The better question is how can I afford it. The question in mind they have when they call is, can I afford it. Your job now is to turn that into how can I afford it. So how can you do that?

This is why I write. To explore options available. What are the options? How do you convert that? You tell them that it's an opportunity for them to see how committed they are to their goal. Not everyone is that committed. How do you find out?

You ask. How committed are you to achieving your goal. You won't get an answer to that of course. How do you break that ice? You spend time with them. You gain their trust. How do you do that? You tell them about yourself. You connect. How do you connect with them on two minutes? You ask about them? You give them what they want. Price. There's a risk there.

You give them the price and they will have an answer to can I afford it. So ask them that. Can I afford it. Some can, some won't. How do you weed that out. I don't know yet. What can I do then? Ask. Can you afford it? This is the price. Can you afford it? The better question is, how committed are you to achieving your objective. How do you find out what their objectives are.

You ask. Will you get an answer? Maybe yes, maybe no. more often than not, no. it hurts to be in the negative there because they can't afford it. How do you find their motivation to afford it? To overcome their present definitions. Things are moving now. There is that definition there. How do you get them to be in the light? You ask questions to get them moving along.

It's getting there. How do you shift into that? I don't know yet. All you can do is see how things go from there. I think it's going to be fun. It's that thing there. You can do something there and you can see. Be like a kid and ask them why. Ask them how committed they are. How is that possible.

I did not like that music there. It sounds flat. Maybe the jazz version is better here. An what else is there? This song is so around in christmas. I think that elf had something to do with it. It's a fun movie. That is good acting there. How did he get there.

How do you help htem shift? How to find that motivation? You can't assume that. You ask questions. You give them one, then ask questions. How to do that? That's a hot lady. Who is she. I don't know. That is something you can look into. I write and see what is on the other side.

And then what? I think it's like that and people...me I am turning into a zombie. I am doing something about it so I can be in my own light. And it will take a year? Maybe. Everything is possible. Soon as I find the light, I can shift into it unconditionaly. No conditions. I think you see it there. That's what you do.

How soon? That's expectation. Only be in the light without conditions. The conditions will get you out of the light, not resonate. What you want is to resonate with it. And that's how you get to the other side.

Is that the answer you were looking for? I think so. And now you see where this is headed. And what else can I write about? Be fun. Have fun with it. How do you do that? Don't worry how to get there. You get there when you get there. You will know when you need to know when you need to know about it.

There's a lot in here for me. So be it. And I get to the light, get into frequency when I am the person in my own light. And I don't have to look for conditions. Only be in my own light. Do I have to listen to this? You don't have to. Only be myself and see what happens.

And this is what it is all about. Who made all that? I am listening to christmas songs. No need to get into facebook. It's a poison now? It's not my thing anymore. So be it then . This is a good song. I think I can do something here. I like her voice. I like the love story here.

This is what's interesting about it. I think you will see it when you get there. And that's what this is all about. How do you get to sleep. What to do tomorrow? It'll be fun. I think I was going there all along anyway. So be it. I can go to that gadget shop and see what's in store for me.

Do I want that phone. Soon as you shift into I want it here, then I can think how can I afford it. And right now, I don't really need it. I can do without it. So you get them to shift into I can't do without it. How do you do that? I don't know yet.

They are already there when they called from the ad. How you shift them into that is what this is about. I am have taken a big step here today. Do you talk about it? I don't know yet. I think it'll be there. One more step and you will see what happens. How did you decide to lose weight yourself? I got sick and tired of this condition. I think I am deserving of it.

back to new

Rather than work a job, i'd rather play poker staked. I do have expectations and I am aware of that now. How to get there? You know the steps. Get crackin.




I am also getting a second computer, or stick with this one, grow everything. It only takes one dollar big blinds to get to the hourly rate i'm in, maybe less. And I get to work when I choose to.

How much capital do you need? Two hundred, or two grand? I can also do that fx thing on the side. I trade day charts for that. But that's the next step in the iteration. What else is there? It's a job, and there also is dm I can do on the side. That's three.

I usually get to this when I have a job. That's part of the process. I see that. I am aware of that. I do this and ninety days, we decide how to go from here. In the meantime, you know what to do. I can do two hours of poker when I am at home. That will get things going again.

And what else is there? I don't know yet. For now, this is where I am. I think I know how to fo from here. I have everything in place. I don't have to talk to wife. I have a setup. Grow the bankroll to that level, then take things from there.




Would you rather do that with fx? I don't know. It is there. I can do stuff. For now, this is where I am. I have a path. I am happy about it. And everything is connected as you know. Do I have to do the laundry today? It's going to be sunny from here. I can bring them up later.

For now, finish writing. This is where I am. I can also do that website again, start updating it. I can then grow everything from there. I think the us is getting back online. So be it. And it's fun. And there's china. There's also india and philippines. There's a lot of them out there that want to get into that. And it's possible to get back on track.

How to do that? There's also russia. There's plenty of opportunity to get cracking. I think you see where this is headed. Go for it. Start your engines. I am going to have to reinstall stuff on this computer. At least I have something running again. Do that part time and see what happens. I have enough ammo to get going again.

So no worries when you get to that fork in the road. Wife may get worried about it. I think you know how things are going to go from here. You don't need that. You can do something else. Like what? Do you want to keep up the contrib or do something else with it? I don't know. It's already there. Let it run and see what happens.




I can use the commish to build up the bankroll. There are also other means but in the meantime, this seems like a good path. That's three businesses I can start when the path changes. I see that. It's time to set up.

How soon can I get stakes? Soon as I get things up and running. I think fifty grand hands is the minimum. You can take it from there. I also have the tools in place. You only need to set things up. I can start with that tonight. Tomorrow is also an option. I get home early tomorrow.

It's christmas coming up soon. I can go there. How many days to get to fifty grand? I don't know. I think it's good to go there again. I went through variance. This time, I can handle that better. I don't have to do tourneys. I like cash games better. There be sharks in there and that be fine. I will learn about their stats in the first fifty grand.

And as I go up stakes, I will collect more stats. I don't know how things will turn out but variance works both ways. I can get stakes and get coaching with that. I am excited that things are starting to fall into place.




I can talk about that and see what happens. And what else is there? There is that poker thing. I think you know where this is headed. It's not about luck. It's about stats and odds. How do you apply that to trading?

Variance is there. And you don't have to close out. Take advantage of what's there. Use it. I have this feeling in my hara. See it there. Be aware of it. No need to invalidate it. Everything is connected. You only need to see what is in the mirror. There is reflection and contrast. If it's contrast, or not what you prefer, then see the other two how they are connected.

This is why it's here. This is why you have it. It works for you. And this is why you are in this situation. You are here to see something . Now I see. Now I understand. And what else is there. It gets you to appreciate what was there but you did not see. You get that now?

Yes. I had it good back then. I had definitions that are not in alignment. So how to get there now? Grow the bankroll then see what happens. I think you know how this is going. And it's out there for them and that's alright. You know how things are going to turn out.

Be that person. That is your light. This is your path. This is your perspective. You are here for that experinece. You are here for that perspective. The universe, creation already has that other perspective. You only need to be in your own light.

and yet again

That be interesting. I can do this and finish writing. For now, this is what's interesting for me. When I finish, I do the laundry. Then I get ready for work. Wife is getting ready herself. I can hang out in the mall or something. I go early.




I feel like I am ready and good to go for monday start work. I have my script that I worked up and played with since yesterday. It's like being an athlete, a solo athlete and you don't play against someone else, but align with that self who is already in the top ten.

I am learning a lot in this process. I guess this is why it's here. I am learning how to read between the lines and respond appropriately. Maybe this is something that will come in handy as I integrate myself with all that is my path.

That's cool. The kids are at my friend's house. We don't have internet at the moment, they do. Kids want to conect and slept over. They are there for each other. My job here is done. I don't have to worry about them when they are older. They are there for each other now. I allow that. I am happy for them. I am hapy for myslef. Things are in place. You only need to check under the hood when you don't see it that way.

It has been raining since yesterday. I will go see the kids later after I finish here. I am doing morning pages. After this I have breakfast. Soon as I am done with that, I go to takapuna, library and then do something else. I might go there and ask who else wants to go. Or I can text them and see. Give them a call is better.




Maybe the kids will want to do something else. I think it's better that I stop over first and then see who else will want to go. It's raining a lot. I bring my jacket and that umbrella. I did not run today. It was raining and I woke up at three am to poop. I had carbs yesterday. Pizza. It felt good. I enjoyed it. No need to fight myself over it. It was my choice.

What's next here? I have breakfast then get going with my day. I have everything organized and good to go for monday. I do two hours with integrated self. Everything in alignment. I shift into autopilot and ther grow from there. Thrusday is going to get here son enough. Friday is my day off and sunday I start work again. Then the week after is a different schedule again. This is what my days are going to be like. I think the team is going to be in the same shift.

That be fine. I have all day anyway. I can use the free time to integrate everythig else, then choose what is relevant or me. What happened there yesterday? I think he is still anchored in the past. He was so anchored in the past. Why is that? Maybe that tells him who he is. It gives him identity. But these definitions are made in the present. Do I have such references ifrom the past telling me who I am? I think so. Yes. I wasn't that aware of them but notw I am.

How to work with that? Be in the moment. Everything is here and now. This is your opportunity right here to be the person you want to be. Check under the hood and see if everything is in alignment. If so, be in the light. That revs up everything. That is the ignition key that starts the engine. Be that and everything flows freely. How do you teach that to anyone?

Be the example they seek. No need to teach. That will only go over their head like water to a duck. I think that's what the saying is like. I can't ride, rather I choose not to ride today. Will I run tomorrow? I can go run later this afternoon. I can go run now. It's going to be quiet though. I can run tomorrow. I am off to a late start anyway. I can go after everyone has gone. I finish everything at ten then head off to work.




It's going to be interesting how things will go monday. It's first day with the new team. It's been fun. I wonder ho else is going to be there. Who else will be there is who you need to integrate with everything. So if it's there, that means there's a reason for it. So be it then. No need for expectations. Be in the moment. Seek ye first the kidngdom of god. Then all these things shall be added unto you.

I am not a christian but that phrase is apt to describe what I do here. I can look up other quotes but that is not here so I don't have to know about them. What else is there? Simply be this and see what happens. I wonder how things will turn out? No expectations. Only be this. I can tally up everything then go from there. But that might be expectation as well. Might as well have that in the head in the background and see how things go rom there. Don't worry about keeping score. Focus on what you need to do at that moment. Nothing else. Focus on the conversation. That is your see the ball, hit the ball. Answer all? Address concerns, then test close. If not, move on.

That is simple. I am simplifying everything here as I process the energy. My energy. So that monday comes and I start playing, everything is automatic. I had to stop for a few seconds to turn off the oven timer. Breakfast is ready? Not yet. That was for lunch and later on. I have chicken for lunch the whole week. How to not have breakfast? I think I can do breakfast for now. Two meals as that will tide me through until eight at night when I get out.

Wife is going to be there when I get in. I get home earlier than her and I can go back to pick up. I am changing my schedule again. The kids are growing up. Soon they go to uni. It's going to be me and the wife. At least I enjoy her company. We can stick with that. I don't know how things will turn out. I am in the path.


I am feeling so much better now with my work. It's a label. Work feels like work. There's a better word for it. My daughter sits on my pc to watch her movies now with these headphones. She says she can use something else, but this here are an awesome pair of cans. She'll be able to tell the difference over time.





Do I like those interstellar music? Some of them are good. This here cello music is good as well. I like listening to them. Kids are going to bed. Wife is probably going to have dinner. Son keeps kissing me goodnight, like three times before he finally settles down in his bed.

I decided to take a nap and woke up past nine. I must have been sleeping for an hour. I couldn't sleep earlier. I got up, sat in the living room with the kids discussing a lot of things. I found myself sleepy again and it was some time around eight. That was more than an hour's nap then.

I can go lie in bed later. If I can't sleep, then I can get up and do something else. How long will I stick with this job? I don't know. It feels interesting at the moment. Is there really such a good product? A good product stands out these days, specially when the competition is cheaply manufactured. You can tell immediately when you use a product if it's going to last.

This here at headphones are made in taiwan. The sound quality is excellent. I don't know how long this will last me. I am careful about using them. I use it a lot though. I use them whenever I can. I did laundry earlier. I am going to do another set tomorrow. Wife said she's going on leave on thursday to make sure the connection comes through.

That be good. The modem came in today after she signed up for it. It's vdsl/adsl combination. I think we can downgrade that. Is that bottomless connection? I think so. She knows that we need that. She is more budget aware than I am. These cello music I love to listen to them. Do I need high quality accoustics?

I can go check them out. It's pricey. Maybe headphones sound better alone. But that aired sound quality might come in handy. I can take a break on day off, but that is only going to slow me down. I will stick with this. I seem to have lost an inch from when I bought my pants. They are a bit lose now. I am not sure.





But I feel like I have lost some weight. I forgot to turn off the phone. Should I leave that charging? It's my day off tomorrow. I can leave that charging all day tomorrow. In the meantime, I enjoy cello while I write so I listen to my playlist.

It's going to be christmas soon. What do I get the kids? Second daughter likes them short jammies. Where do I get them? I would rather get them those tools, but it's over budget. Give them twenty each and that wipes me off. When is the next payday? Two more tuesdays from now. Not this tuesday, but the next.

Wife is going to use my pay for next week's grocery. I am on strict mode now. There were words coming out when I did not mean it. This day's calls were abysmal. Wife said the calls were low today. Is that my energy? It's a definition. Use the contrast then. Things change all the time. How to go from here?

Create that site. Offer value. People will buy that. I can do that on my spare time. And I can do an ad so when people look into that I can come up in that list. I already have something up and running anyways. What else is there for me?

This is page three. I write. Do I go back in bed? I can read later if I can't fall asleep. I do feel refreshed now. It was a good nap. The run this morning was longer and I enjoyed it. There was that familiar pain in the ball of my foot. I remember my karate days.

That was a long time ago. I then went on to finish aikido. And it's behind me now. And I am using the same principles in my job now. It's about testing something and adding that to my psyche. That's interesting. I was processing my energy that way early this afternoon. I had a lot of learning this past two weeks. This job got me extending my comfort zone. That is good. It feels good. It's interesting. I am expanding with that.

Now what? I am not exactly writing from the imagination. I am making a lot of changes here. What's next? I don't know yet. Only go for the interesting things. Everything will settle into place. What else is next?

Listen to the music. I will shut things down when I finish these. And then I can lie in bed. Wife has period. No sex for today. I wonder who else goes through these blogs? Maybe those who like to read unconventional things. I don't think my writing is mainstream. It won't appeal to the majority...and that's alright. I don't have to connect with anyone. This is practice writing.

I will finish these and move on. I am done now? Wife still has stuff to do. It will take her a few more minutes. What's next? I want to ride my bike tomorrow and go to the library. I can take things from there. Is there anything to eat tomorrow?

I think so. There's the beef ribs. I love that.

I feel like I am scamming people here. I guess this is the contrast that I need to process. The next tep in my evolution. It's not scammy. It's how you define it. I'd rather see it as a lesson in social interaction. Someone else is paying you to learn something from it. I don't have to hang out in that area. I can do something else altogether.

Llike what? I don't know yet. Only that you go deep into this and see what comes out on the other side. It's like going to prison and doing your shawshank redemption. That's what this is. What was his name? Andy. I cando andy. That will remind me of that story it is about story. Make your own story. People will love to listen to that story.

It's about a guy who went to prison and transformed everything and everyone around him. I don't have to be like them. I can choose and that is what it is about .you are always have presented a choice. Everything is an opportunity to be the person that you want to be. And it's here now. Everything is here now.

And I asked for guidance before going to bed. I woke up, saw the contrast and got my answers. Answers seem final. I was shown which road to take from here. I got my dircetions. It's my journey. The path is what I choose. This is what it's all about.

And I am changing internet sevrvice providers. Ours suck. I can do with something else. It's like a utility provider. You make sure that they get their utility and they pay you for that. If there were interruptions why should the customer pay for that?

It doesn't matter what caused it, if the power is cut, you get right to it. You lose this months profit on that one customer but you get their business the rest of the year. This is what and how I choose to do business. Do not hire managers and bean counters. They remove the connection with people.

Go after people people. People who can connect. That's what it's all about. And this could be an impetus for me to go there. I learn something I just learned something new here. What's next? Isolate? Scarcity. I see. It's everything there. Only that I write.

I won't be able to post this today. I will do so later on. For now, this is what I do. Ican spend mornings there but fifteen minutes is more than enough for me. I can sit in the park and enjoy the scene. Or I can walk around. I can even go to the lbirary. But fifteen minutes before time is more that enough.

When you sit things out, that's when you,... is ee. I had a throve of informaation that got downnloaded there. It's not there. That is not the reality that I am. It's different for me. Do I want to join toastmasters? I think there is a better way to do things.

I wonder if they do ab testing? Maybe so, maybe not. It's always there. Do something. Do this or that. It's all there. It's all connected. It's not that one is better than the other. Only that you each both have different paths. He's not protected? I think you nkwo how to go about this. And what Is the best way for me. Learn. There is something here for you. What are you getting out of it? So much. I am interacting. I am learning. Stick with this. I had stress coming home yesterday. It was that thing I had before. I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. I see that now.

Move on from tere. I am getting a headache if I read what I wrote close the ees and start writing. You can edit these later on. These marketers, there is the sense of urgency about them always. I like andy. That's a good sounding name to use in the business. I can grow things from there. This is the path I am in. it's related. Trust me and everything else is going to grow from here.

If anything, I have changed my eating habits. I am leaner now than I was last week and my yoga has gone deeper today than it id the last time I traned two days ago. That is a positive and relevant direction for me. I am making lunch.

It just rang. I can read through the questionairres and go from there. I can do that. It don't matter that anyway. The structure is in place. You only need to test one script then grow from there. Let's do that then. You get that know in your stomach when you do not do it that way. Pick from there and see what happens. Always learn. There is always something to learn form the experience. Write notes. You can take the notes home at the end of the day and review them.

I can input them all later on. It's a social experiment. Remember that. And you can expand from there. No need to label as good or bad. Everything that happens is there for ar reasn use it to your advantage. It's not that people are gullible. It's only that you learn something from the experience. And you transform the dark into light. And not one of them is better than the other. Use the force. Aha. That guy there was the general. Vader knew how to use both sides. He was lord of the universe. Why did they not expound on that. And luke may not be s good as his father was.

How do you do that? See the path now unfolding? It's right in front of you. This is where you go now. It don't matter what it is. You labe them. And someone else is going to benefit from thee xperience. Even if they are going to pay tuition from it, you learn from the experience. Go from there.

everything here now?

I have time to write before I leave for work. It's a social experiment. This time tho, it shifted, the definition. I help people discover who they are...help them see the definitions they keep.




It's in alignment, relevant to who I am. I had the insight when I woke up. I had a dream, poop was coming out of my pants and held it back, literally pushing it back. Then my uncle was in the dream. He found a lady he liked and they were going out. I remember this house with a red ribbon on it. Then I looked away, then back and the ribbon was gone. And that's when I woke up. Sitting up, I got the insight.

And I wrote about it. I put it down on paper. It's in my briefcase now. This is creativity at work. It flowed. I connected and got it down. It's there. Now I shift into that. The local mind wants to map everything out. It's better to use concepts instead than trying to figure out everything. It's like that compass and the map. The map is static. The compass is dynamic. And that's how I go do this. This is my process then.

Everything is expanding. Everything is accelerating. It's going fast now. It's like time is there, but I skip some of it. My phone is still charging. I have time to let that be. It's not a test, but contrast to see who I am. Everything is reflection. Life experience is a mirror. What you put out is what you get back.

Wife comes home early today. Do I get that phone? How can I afford it? That's the question you want to expand on? Get better call experience. Help people involved in your product. This is where I am now. It's the contrast I have. That means I also have the other end of the stick.




That's ego giving back the sups script. It's a show off. I will use something else. It's contrast to see who you are. It's not a challenge. It's telling you that you have the stick. You get one end, you also get the other. Everything is here and now. How do I shift into that? Yousimply respond as that person.

Every moment is an opportunity. Given or presented with the opportunity, you respond as such. Even if things don't work out as expected, you respond as such. That is the path here. This is hwhere I am. And please, no expectations. Only be in the moment.

I am going to stop by work and income to drop off some docs. And then I am off their back. I can check the phone later. This is page two. I am waiting for my chicken to finish cooking. I may have to check what the bus schedule is. It's twenty forty, or something like that. It's around the clock during the day. At night, they follow a schedule.

I feel this anxiety. That's ok. I allow that. There is a definition there that is not in alignment. This is why I feel this way. What's next here? Finish writing. One more page after I finish these. I have smaller font now. I was doing good in the morning. Taht's because I was an order taker. That's the contrast. Now I seek opportunity to respond differently. Then it's going to crystalize more. And that's where you are. You have shifted. You will get that opportunity all the time.




And how are things going to be then? I don't know. No expectations. See where this is headed and take it from there. No excuses. You don't have to be top dog. Only that you are in alignment and everything will expand from there.

Which comes first then? I don't know. If the oven dings, then I can take it out and see how that goes. Or leave it there for a moment to cool off. It's windy outside. This is the life now. This is where I need to be. I am getting something out of it. Use up the energy. The energy is there to help...get you to accelerate. Use thet energy. When it's all pent up, then things change. Everything is changing all the time. Billions of times per second. You don't see it because you only see that which is of the same frequency that yo uare in. test that. Change your frequency and you will see.

What is that frequency? No need to define it but you know that signature. Match that signature even if it don't make ense to you. At times the local mind cannot grasp what's there. Only with the heart that you see clearly. So let it be.

We get internet on thursday. That's two days from now. And then we can see what the schedule is going t obe next. It feels kinda isolated working in that environment. That's ok. I can work with that. I can even move to a different seat when I need to. And that's where everyone is. And that's what this is all about. It's three strikes. You get there when you get there. It makes sense the logic I present. I am not going to talk about the product. They already know that.




I have evyrything. They come up when they come up. No need to memorize scripts. You will know what you need to know when you need to know it. I have a guide. I connect with that guide all the time. No need to be a show off. It's there. I think it will help if we can play role.s to practice. But there's no time for that. And it's ok. This is how you learn anyway. And it's going to get better from here on, believe you me.

And daughter sees that I write often. I think I have enough heirloom in me to ...that they can have when I move on. And it's good. They have something that I had that will help them remember me by. You can talk about that. That is a concern for everyone anyway. They can talk about these things anyway.

And I don't have to address that thought. It's not here. When I get there I get there. I will know. Trust that. Know that. You already know that. Close your eyes and conncet when you go there. That makes it esay to emphatize with the person you talk to.

allow to be

There seems to be a lot of confusion in me so I am writing this out. If you don't make a sale, or get three unsuccessfuls in a row, you get a time out. How do you avoid that? Is there a trick to it? What if the person really can't afford it? Offer them the installments?




There's something fucked up with the system. It feels like there's a lot of trickery going on in there. First they don't give you the price to get you to call and talk to sales. It's a given that price is going to be expensive, but look at qvc. They make such great drtv it don't seem to matter how much the product is.

I don't think it's up to us to build value. It's the job of the ad to build value by presenting the facts. They call in wanting to know what the price is. They talk to someone and they get into a bucket which gets a callback. At times, callbacks are like two grand. There's a backlog because the callers get struck out to inbound when they don't make a sale.

Something feels not right about it. How do you deal with it? It's on the outside. You can't affect the reflection in the mirror. You have to smile first before the reflection in the mirror is going to smile. So how do you do that? You do your job. You have a good time with it. Are they going to ever get past that?

Don't bother with that. There is something in there for you. Am I not doing good rapport? What else can I do here? I don't think i'llresolve anything focusing on the reflection. At least I am here and have my foot in the door. It's now up to me to make something out of it. I don't think they'll listen to an outsider. I can follow my own path and be my own example.




One alternative is to branch off to something else. Like what? Real estate sounds interesting. There's something else. Dm? That sounds interesting too. Will that do for me? I don't know. All I know is that I go down this path and see where it goes. Then we'll see what happens.

Do I want that piece on my playlist? At times the playlist don't look nice. Maybe I can do something in here. I don't know yet. Act on your excitement, be in the light. Everything else false into place after that. You can't change the outside. You only shift into the parallel earth that is relevant for you.

Trust that for now. You will understand more soon enough. Things are going to change in two winters. This is connected to that. See how things go from there. For now, only do this. No expectations. Have fun with it. See where it gets you. There is something here for you.

And what about the expectations of other people? Let them be. It's not yours to carry. Set your own path and you don't have to look to anyone else. When you are in the light, everything else reflects off that. You will see contrast, but it's there for a reason.




Like today, there are things that will not make sense. Let it be. Only know that it's connected somehow, even if it will only get you to move in a certain direction. And that soundtrack is ok, I can keep in the playlist for now. It works ok when I write, keep it there.

And I got up and it was almost eight. I usually go to bed after nine. I want to pick up wife from work. I don't know if i'd still be up by then. She said it's ok if I don't pick up. Friday I can go get her if she has work. So be it then. If I can't sleep then, I will go. If I fall asleep, I see her the next day. I wish I could spend some time talking with her before bed time. She's a good friend altough she gets lost in her worries.

And I can't help her when she's in her dark side. You can't pull her out from there. It's a process that she has to go through. And I too have my own dark sides. I too have processes to go through. So be it. And the kids spent a lot of time in front of the tv. Son did not go to school today. He was conplaining of asthma. I don't think or know if wife called school today.

Other way, I can write a note for the teacher tomorrow. I can do that tonight before I go to bed. That way, I don't have to concern myself with that. This is a beautiful piece of music. There are several versions of this track. And I can listen to it when I write, or otherwise. I did not ride my bike today thinking it was going to rain. It didn't. It was cloudy all day.




I did the laundry today. I got so drained I had to take time out to rest in the bed. I did not get a shuteye though. I just laid there thinking. So be it. This is who I am now. I wrote not. Maybe that's what was meant to come out. I edited that. Should I go into copywriting? If things don't work out there, then I can do that, or go into csharp programming.

I can spend time learning that, or concentrate on copywriting. I wonder what that department is like. I can go look into that and see what happens. Maybe there is something in there. Do you want to go there? I don't know. Maybe it's about the conversation. Is it live? How do you write scripts for that?

I don't know yet. The way qvc ran the livestream, it felt like they knew what to say.

different me today

I switched to googel keyboard. I think the reason they kicked out kii was that it worked pretty much like google keyboard. What to do today. I did not do yoga earlier. It's a weekend. I can do that later. I have stuff in the phone now. Do I have breakfast now? I can do that no breakfast thing on weekdays when I have work. With the new schedule coming up, I may have a different setting for that. Do I go to the gym to workout? I don't know yet. Maybe there is something here for me.




Like what? Do I want to workout in a gym? It's going to bulk up things where I might not tneed them. I am all for strength training. I can test that out next time. There be ladies there you might want to meet. Wife is good. I don't have to make changes. It's like my bike. As long as it gets me where I want to go, it don't have to be snazzy. It only has to be functional and lets me make tweaks when I need them. Like linux. I hardly use windows anymore.

Maybe if there was a linux version of the things we use at work, then things are going to be so much faster. And I think it's more secure that way. They use them as servers though. I don't get why they not use them on the client side.

Maybe it's the javascript. I think that can be fixed. Most hacks work on windows anyway. A number that I see do not familiarize themselves with linux. Or maybe I am wrong. I was second guessing myself there.

So you want to be like harrison ford? Not really. I remember that mall. I was suddenly there. It's a different mall now. I don't enjoy going to malls. If I have to, I go in and out fast. It's just going around in circles doin nothing just go there until you run out of money. When is the next payday after this? I think it's before christmas. But you don't want to do your late shopping then. I would rather get my kids gifts on january afther they have a big sale. I can do that too. I can hand over some cash on that day for them to spend, then get them something during the year. I think it's better that way.




And I don't have to be like everyone else. I found a good keyboard there. It's based on that and I can use swype actions, or do the thumb typing. We'll see. The swype seems more forgiving for me. I have big fingers and I don't like hitting keys on the dot to type.

I miss being at work. It's already routine for me? I am on shift or the rush hour. This is synchronicity. It's connected. This way, I get to have as many calls that I can handle. I twill make things faster. The learning is going to be there. I only need to be in the light and everything will line up with that. What are the kids going to have for breakfast?

I can get them pansit for later and tomorrow. What else to eat here? I don't know. Payday is on tuesday or wednesday. It won't be long now. Only a few more days. We can handle and work with that. I think I have everything in place already.

Do I need a new phone? I don't think so. I can and would rather use that to register my own business and go from there. Or I can do something else. Like get my license and take things from there. I can do that. Then I can sign up for a motorbike. That be interesting how things go from there. That's an added expense for you that won't generate any returns. It's like buying a car. You don't want to go there.




So what can I do here? Be in the moment. You only need to be in this place to know what else you can do about it. Is there team thingies? I don't know but human nature leads me to find being in a pack. We'll see how it goes monday next next week. Second monday from now is the term more apt here. This is page three?

I thought I was still in page two coming into three. What to do on payday? I want to treat the wife out. We can hang out in the city. I don't have much on my todo list anyway. She deserves a date. We haven't been on a date in a long time.

City it will be then. We can go to that brazilian restaurant in the city. Can we bring the kids as well? That be interesting. I think we can do that brazil thing then. I like that restaurant. Let's do that. We can go there every payday. Or try a new one every payday. Then we are spending more time together then.

I enjoyed that back when we did that a lot. It's time to go there then. We take the bus coming home. I get the kids something for them to enjoy. Or bring home something for them. But if I have shift, how to do that?




Maybe I can do them on my days off. That way, it's a weekoend. The kids can stay at home. But I think she has work. We do it on mondays then when I am off. We can go on dinner. I treat the kids out in the afternoon. They are on school holiday anyways.

Son is up and awake now I am now...son is asking what to do on chistmas day. He's in charge of planning that day. Shops might be closed. There might be something else to do there. I might have work. I'll go check to see what day it is and how I will be working on that day. There's a good chance that I am going to be working on that day.

Maybe get something from my wish list?

topher grace story

Yesterday was interesting. I was paired with a hottie for introductions. She had short hair and tall, lanky. What's beautiful about her when she smiled? You can see that I look back to that a lot. I don't get that often around here. How is this synchronicity for me?




Inside out. You see beauty on the outside because there is beauty from the inside? And the people there were nice. And there was this lady who made a commitment to eat healthy. When I saw her again for lunch, she was having a donut—and some starwebrries. I guess the berries made it a healthy meal for her.

I was surprised that I only had one drumstick for lunch. That lady I mentioned earlier, she was on a budget and was looking forward to having noodles for lunch. I think it's not cheap. It's junk food put together that made the price low and affordable, but if you looked at the nutritional value, it's not worth it. But she's young. Her body will recover fast enough for it.

I felt old and fat sitting in the training room. At least that is my contrast. And things are already in that frequency. I only have to make it over time to crystallize everything. And that's the process right now. Do I need dacs? I feel like I can have them, but I get tired of listening to music all the time.

There be times when silence is golden. It's the zen thing again. I can run later when I get home. Let's see if there be games on the field later. Countdown was terrible. The other exit was closed becaues of construction. Traffic inside was terrible. It would have been easier to park outside.




But that was my process. I spent the afternoon with my son looking for secret santa stuff. Had my daughter gotten her shared lunch for tomorrow? I can ask her later. Maybe wife can get that on her way home this afternoon. There was a miscommunication last night and I picked up when she already went home.

Anyway, I had a good time listening to music so it was good. What else is there for me? Write and see what happens. I am editing some parts as I write? Then I am aware. There is awareness in there. Spendmore time in that light. How can you spend time in something when there is only here and now? Everything is now. So you are aware now. And there is only now. The energy changes.

Do I want to be travelling like that? It would be interesting to be there. I can do nz top to bottom. I can stay in hostels instead of a tent. That be interesting for me. But there be stretches when I will not have access to that. I can have a camper thing as well. Do I get that folding bike?

It will be nice to have that for when the wife and kids go out. That way, I have an option to come and ride my bike to explore when I get there. I can not bring bike today. I will look into the possibility of parking them in the basement, but I will have to ask this time.




Or maybe there is some other place where I can park it. The basement parking would be ideal for me. I will look into that. And what else is there? Go for interesting. Getting a house is interesting? Moving house is good. I pay rent so maybe I can invest the money in a business that will pay off that rent.

How much is it? One percent of something. And if I traded swaps, I think I can get there soon enough. When do you stop traveling? You don't. You only choose to stay in one place long enough before you start to head out again. I enjoy that so I am going to look more into that. I like the netherlands—amsterdam. That's my next destination. I can work there for a year or two before I move on.

That be an interesting lifestyle. I wonder if wife will want to be there too? We shall see. If not, I can do office play there for a while before I move on. Playing poker online is also an alternative. How much do you need to get started again? Do I even like grinding?

We'll see. I don't like to be tied down to something. I would rather have that swap business and take out profits every so often. I am looking into that now. It looks weak at the moment and you can do a short there. No losses. Only that you can't take money out on certain times. And while you are on it, you earn interest.




And that's the beauty of it. You trade like an investor. You only take money out, profits when it's there. You add more funds to it on a regular basis to keep things current. I can turn off that boiling egg now. But I can...and I can do that in a moment. I want to finish writing before I do something else.

It was nice to be labeled as smart by someone. It's not everyday that this happens. Do I need that? It was reflection. And it's nice to see reflection. There be contrast too. I haven't created something more because of the motivation. I can get back to that tonight.

What will I work on? Java and android. That is more interesting and things are always evolving for me. I am always learning something new. How do you hack into it? I don't know yet. I think the intranet is very slow. I can make something with node that loads faster.