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state my being

I am upset and pissed. Wife bought a new tv. She don't get it that you're not supposed to level up your lifestyle for a year. She only thinks about the new cash flow with the new job. How do you explain that to someone who's been an employee all her life?

To her it's all about immediate gratis. I can choose to tighten my belt for how long it takes. The only time I get something is when it has to absolutely get it. What to do now?

Be in the light. Let it go. I am writing. This is where I am. This is where I be. What does that mean? I don;t know. It just came out. It wrote itself. Do I listen tune in to my friend? It;s something I enjoy.

And this is where I am now. I changed keyboard a few days ago. It's all dvorak now. No more of that programmers dvorak. I get dvorak anywhere anyway. I might as well stick with this for now. What else can I do here? I don't know. It's my shawshank. I am growing my bankroll this way. It's going to be my theme now. I am using the time to accelerate in my own light.

How do I remind myself of that? Write it down. I am going forward from there. Keep to the light. No need for conditions to be perfect. You already are perfect. There is no need to see the perfect on the outside.

What to do from now on? I don't know. Do I want to write tomorrow? I can, but maybe not needed. I can write after dinner or when I get home when I have more time. And what else is there? Only write and see what is in there. When you see it, then you see it.

If it's not here, then might as well see where things are going. Istopped listening to this one. And then what else is there? Why am I upset? I am judging something here? What can I do differently tomorrow? I have my own script in place already. Maybe I can ask people what it is they want to do. What else is there to do here. I don't know. Do this and see what happens.

Is this where I want to be? I don't know. I am autopilot on that level. I can add a key on that side. It will be bedtime soon. Wife knows I am upset. Can we talk later? She don't have that online? I think so. What is she doing? Stuff for the kids.

So be it. I don't want to do that. She can do that herself. I don't feel like writing. Why is that? I want to work on that thing. But why is that there? What can I do about it? I have my own paper. I don't have to bring that notebook. Or maybe get my own small notebook and grow from there.

How do you shawshank that? I don't know yet. There is here. Everything is here and now. What can you see around here? I don't know yet. It's only this. I only be here and see how it is all here. How did a lady like that be here? It's part of the equation.

What to do with this laptop? There is no good music in there. What can I do about it? Get a bigger one? Or is it something else in there. I don't know. Only be this here and see what happens. You see it all here. I am upset with the contrast.

Is there something else for me here? I don't know. This is also here. Is that deadpool? That looks similar. I think it is leading into something. Why did they have to change the voice? This is what people are into anyway. And what is possible for me here? I don't know.

Is there something else for me? I don't see it so there is nothing else here. Just write here for now. You will see it when it is there and in alignment. Do you want to work on something like that?

I want to work my own gig. How to get there? Grow your bankroll and see where it all goes. I am done with spending for this week and the next. Man. It's a long way from here. Next week and the week after that is where I am going. It's going to be a bit tight. Have I ever sold anything in my life?

I never heard anything out there that was an easy sell. People don't go there anyway. I think that thing I have is something that works. I was able to sell in that instance. How to replicate that? I don't know yet. Only that this is here and I write about it. Then write about it. I am here and there. My thoughts are that. So be it. Only write what goes on in the head and put it in paper.

Do I have to be something else? I feel like I am always going there. That tv has a purpose. That tells you it's a resource you can take when you need it. Right now I don't need a new phone. If I was getting something, then I can get something else. Where can I get money for that?

Go make the stop tomorrow if it's early. If it's not, then do something else. I can take the car and go there. Or go do something else. I wasn't really listening there am I. I see that. I am aware of that now. So be it. If I am not there then I can do something else. Like what? See the definition. Is it in alignment?

Probably not. There's not a lot of difference in the new layou. It's not impossible. I can do sometinhge her. This boy is growing up fast. Look at him. He's such a kid.