Pages

moving up levels

I don't think I was able to do morning pages earlier. I got off and started working already. Maybe that's why I feel off-center. I realized it when I was walking home. I wonder where geof and es were off to? Maybe albany? They could have taken the motorway. Or maybe not. Maybe it was someplace else.




And this is good music here. This playsilt is good for me. I can listen to it on and off and there is enough good music. I can check down top pair. If it is a small hand anyway. No more need to go deep into that. Just check it down. If it were aggro, then cold calling is the way to go. If it were a reg, then you better be careful. Watch the wsd stat and wtsd. That will tell you a lot.

I don't have much stat at this time so it may be best to play conservatively. I see that now. And what else can I do here? I don't know yet. Play it tight until you have enough stats. Who is that marvel hero? And why call them hero? They lead extraordinary lives. They have it easy. Why do we label those as heroes.

The true heroes are the ones in the trenches doing their thing even through the contrast. I can't say against all odds as that is only perpetuating the contrast. If you don't want it, do not invalidate it. See it as part of the reflection. I call it contrast. It is there pointing to a direction you might want to consider.

And I woke up feeling better about myself. I have a stake now. I am headed in that direction. Things are working out. And I don't have to have expectations. Only that I choose to be in the light at all times. That is the path I am in. no other thing to do here. And I can play after this. Or I can shower.




I am doing yoga and that be later around eight? After a session, I can do yoga. I can do fifteen tables again? That is the most I have so be it then. And no need for expectations. Only play well. I feel like I am home now after a long trip. Is that good. You know that feeling. You have been away for more than a week. Things have been different and now you are home. You can relax and ease up.

And this is how it's been the last two days. I have a stake. I can play full time now. And things are different now. I see what's different now. This stake is more responsive and there's a lot of sweats going on. I will see how far I can take this. For now, this is where I am.

Do I have expectations on this? Only that I play well. That is my see the ball, hit the ball. And I can and will pause on big hands. And I don't have to showdown them big. I can if I chose to. And there will be that. I see that now. I am differently responding.

It don't matter what is on the outside now. This is page two. I don't have much insights now in the afternoon. Local mind has been busy. I did take a nap earlier. Writing and waking up is connected for me. And then I write some more if I have to. For now, this is what I do. I can bust that bankroll but it is not going there. Now I have direction. Now I see how to play this well.




That is the gameplan here. Play well. Make good decisions. Do not go on auto pilot. How come this song comes up all the time? I don't know. I changed it. And it goes random when you change it. And this I sa good rhythm for me. Wife comes home at midnight. If she followed her path, things may get easier for her. This is the path I am in. no need to see where this is headed.

Should I listen to my friend? I can do something else in the meantime. How come there is a lot of fighting in these superhero series? It is that which get people hooked. I don't have to watch that. I think the transfers are done. Kid will want to see that. It's there already.

What is coming up? I am still on page two. There's a lot of writing to do here. I ...son is asking if he can take another shower. It has been warm lately. The window is being replaced. I left it out there. I think they can do something about it. This is where I am. I do something else later.

Not much happening here. I am going through the motions? I remember doing that tanay thing. That was bleeding money. I am sorry. I did learn a lot from the experience. On that side, I think you are pleased with the outcome. We did not get the expected outcome, but there were other more subtle things that were gained from the experience.




I think that is what it was there for. I spent five years there and when it was time to move on, I did. I followed the path. And this is where it led me. What did I gain from that anyway? It was the experience. There were instances here and there. And I take it all in. it was all good in the end.

How so? I don't know. I have things that are different. And I went through my process. And it went as far as it did and it was all good. It was not what we wanted but we got more from it in the end. I can't enumerate all of it. All I know is that I am a better person from it all.

And that is what's happening here now. I don't have to do something I am not interested in. it will only lead to more reflection that you don't want. For one, it did not feel well in my body. I was going to get sick with it. I would rather be here and be content, be at peace with who I am.

And I am moving forward here. No need to be someone else. I am here. I am home now. The kids are growing up. They will soon move out. That be sad, but it's a rite of passage. They will want to spread their wings eventually. The sooner they do so, the stronger their wings will be.




I think they have all they need at this time. They can course correct when it is relevant for them. They know about bashar. They will look that up hwen they fid alignment with it. Or they learn about it from someone else. When they hear about it, they will remember me. And that is going to make me smile.

And when they visit we can talk about it. And there be expansion in that. Everything is connected. And they might not find that path anyway. Maybe things are going to be different for them. And it's ok as well. This music I like. I can go there but the ears need variety. It can go easy or hard like his.

I am more than halfway through here. I will play a session after I finish posting these. I have enough pics to go with it anyway. And there is nothing else to do but this. Everyday is like this. And everything reflects and expands from this. And I am good with that. It is relevant for me.

I can do dlang later tonight when I am done playing. I play all day. That's my job. That's my business. What more can you ask for? I am good.