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as expected not?

I don't know what the right hand position is, but there is pain on my wrist from putting pressure on it. I think my seat is too low. Time to change again. Now, this here is higher and there is less pressure on my wrist. The thing about it is that I have to sit straight and not lean back. This gets tight for long hours. Maybe I need to take more breaks more often.




I started updating my blog rather than pining about the downswing. I am moving over to fr play. That's home to me. I will go to 6max eventually, but maybe not now. I am still trying to figure things out. I will update stake later on in the afternoon. I am going to play after everyone has gone. Window repair is happening later.

I do that too, like let the door close itself and that sounds like you are slamming it. Nothing you can do about it. Maybe be more aware and close it easier that way. Everyone is getting ready to leave now. So much anxiety in me.

Why not play as and go on make up? I can do that and keep that up and close the stake. It's going nowhere and the sooner I can do that, the better off i'd be. I can easily move either way later on. The stake is a safe bet for them when they get honest players, but with degen, they lose money so it's an issue with being a part of the community.

I have too many baggage to carry with this family. I am choosing that anyway. Why so? if...when I choose to do so, what is the motivation there? And when I did choose it, why am I complaining about it then? Maybe there is that ideal situation in my head where everyone is happy and there is no contrast.




I guess wife got a bum phone in nexus. Why is this here? What and how can I use this then? I don't know. Not buy lg phones in the future. I was considering buying them before. It's good that I did not. It's fancy but it's a failure. I need to go poop now. Everyone is moving in and out of the bathroom. Give it a few more minutes.

And what else to do here? These android phones are not really good. Maybe revert back to the old nokia? They were more reliable. I wonder why they had to close shop and sell to ms? Maybe sony was also good, but did not hangaround more often. That lady is working out to lose weight. What should be the situation there/ I want to go to toilet. Is anyone else going to use it?

Too many baggage here? Yes. And I have to dump. My browser page is in facebook. It gets boring in there. Maybe I am not part of a community in there that's why. And I don't dig social media so much, specially like facebook. Maybe social media is better if you are anon. That way, you are not concerned about stepping on someone else's feet.

But it's their issue if they get offended. And I don't want to get involved with that. And what else can I do around here? I don't know. Maybe that guy is a doctor. He has a benz. Why not follow him one day. And is a benz a good indicator? Or is it something else?




Maybe it's something else. Maybe he too plays poker high stakes and goes to the casino to play. I can do that. I can match that frequency myself. School is another baggage carousel. Man, I need to poop now. There's someone coming in after nine. I have a window there to go.

What else to do around here? Finish writing and I can move on from there. I have enough pics to post and don't have to. Wife has too many baggage herself and that's my reflection there. What's mine anyway?

That things have to be in a certain way before I let myself be at peace. Why not be at peace without conditions? See the reflection and choose my state of being...how I respond to it? That is it then. See, choose, act.

Is it that hard? Or is it too simple? It's simple and I tend to forget, rather choose to not choose but go on default. What can I do about this then? Be in my light. No need to be fancy or anything. Just be in my light and see the reflection. It's not see what happens. That's in the future and is not here and now. Everything is here and now. Odesk is not interesting so I don't have to go there. I am doing something anyway.




Crying makes no sense. It is only extra baggage, unless you need to unload toxins out. But that's how kids deal with the negs. Let them be. It's their line and you don't have to choose that way. Choose to be in your light and things will go that way. No conditions. That is not who I am anymore.

Play your light and see what happens. Tell them that you are now in make up mode and will return the money soon as you have them. And that I will update and be in touch. I can do that. And do you have to go that way? Put that at peace for now. Is it going to be a problem then? Use that for six max short handed play later.

For now, do make up, then get started there when you reach that level. For now, move up and then you get to the other side. And then you see how things will turn out. And this is what I do for now. And no need for conditions. Only choose to be in the light. I can run later when the window guy is finished.

It's not going to be a late run. My runs are going into winter and I run at noon when it's warmest. Early mornings are for when I used to work and that's not me anymore. I play poker and this is my schedule now. The stake was there to improve my game. And I did get something out of it.




Maybe now is time to move on. No conditions. And I am responding to the outside? I think so. I will...am now on make up mode then. Notify and then expand from there. This is my light and I can move up sooner. Four tables and twenty buy ins is what I am doing. How much is that? A hundred. That's easily within reach.

Do much and get the bonus. That will move you up sooner. I can do that. I can do three thousand hands each day? I can do that. Let's expand on that then. Expansion. It's not my job. It's what creation does automatically.

It's like putting a seed to the ground. You don't have to do anything there. Creation does its magic and all you do is sit back and enjoy the show. That's how it is and that's why you are not making it happen.