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absent today letter

First there is the wife with the tantrums and now first daughter has them. How is this my reflection? It shows you the choices you make as a reflection in others. I get upset everyday but I have a choice whether to carry that baggage around with me or not.




I am off center for a few hours yes, but for that to linger, there is source code that is out of alignment in there so I can check. Right now there is anxiety in me and I have source code telling me what it is. Everything is an opportunity. Is this a good way to write? I feel like I am putting weight on my wrists. Maybe the seat should be higher?

Same slouch in there but higher? I think so. This has been my seat for sometime now. It feels good when you play poker with it. Also for browsing. For writing though, it feels a bit low. Maybe I need something that has variable height.

I played regular tables again. I can write about this. The chart is steadily going up. There was a set over set situation in there. Nothing you can do about it. At least that was a big hand there I can showdown with. I can move forward with that idea. I already had coffee. I do yoga after my next break and then I can have lunch. This is what my day is like these days. I have a cool blog. I am updating that often.




I don't have to be a poker pro who's on media these days. I can be that quiet guy who grinds away outside of the limelight. I have a method that is consistent and I think will scale up. I only need be patient with myself. They can choose to be arguing about these things, or not.

Wife is up now thought she'd be doing the sandwich lunch. I had a good night's sleep. Lately I have been waking up to the alarm clock. I think daylight has shifted already the clocks will follow soon. This means autumn is upon us. A few more months and it's winter. Be it ok that you let them be with their choices? I think so. It's not time to preach. It never worked anyway. You get what you need when you need it.

if...when they ask, then I can point out what works with me, my opinion. If...when they see it is not relevant for them then they can get that someplace else. No need for me to preach. Nobody...well, not everyone will listen anyway...why waste time? It's not wasted time. It is part of the process though even if it is only contrast for someone else.




It's already wednesday. Time flies. Am I back at regular tables? I had a good session this morning, although short. I think I can continue with these although it is going to be like that for a while. I can do something else in the meantime. Like what? Keep writing. Finish these until posting and then get ready everyone for their day.

I only assist. I am contrast and reflection to their experience. And is that door slamming? Not really. You may need to look into something else. Those were good neighbors there. How do you contact them again? I don't know. So be it then. This is what I do. No need to push. I am doing this and finish these so I can get on with my day. Why do I feel like I am not a good person here?

It is their definition. They don't get that as what they see is other people's prime time. Mine is not prime time now. I had to be with the family and put mine on hold. Is that so? When I was single, I put what was important for me ahead of anything else. I only saw myself and that worked for me. Now I have other baggages to consider.




This is the reflection I have then. Is that ok? It is what it is. This is part of the process. No need to invalidate. I am using up the energy even if I were only writing about it. This is where I am. No need to be anywhere else. How do I point downstream with this? When the idea is not in alignment, see why it's there. When it is no longer relevant, then I can choose to let go.

Every moment is like that. See the source code, make changes when needed. Align with what is relevant then expand. Everything is expansion. I see that now. Imagine when you get there. Is it possible to do that? Yes it is. There be risks involved but they are not blocks. They are only redirects that you use to get there sooner and expand. Get there sooner don't feel like the right word.

This is page two and I have one more page after this. It feels like a stretch but I am not doing anything anyway at this time. It be better to practice writing. Not writing, but practice connecting to flow. This is what the process is about. In the meantime, I am checking my posture as I write.




I feel like it's twisted here and there and that's how I stretch. I am on day two now. I get back to yoga later this morning. I can do that here in the living room or go in my room. It's set a for today. I do the other set tomorrow after my run. Wife be home early today. Maybe the issue is with me? It is always with me. Everything is here and now. Everything is also reflection.

Do I have to get gigs? It gets there when it gets there. If not, when not, then do something else. Like what? I don't know. For now, writing is it. They be angry with each other and that is a reflection for me. It is time to move forward. She can choose to be angry with the world and that's how it is around here.

Is there any way I can help? I offer that and when I can then I get off my butt to do so. I even help the neighbors with their kids. Do I get paid for it? Not really. It's only a few minutes though no problem with that.




This is how my days are like. Whose car is that? Last man on earth looks interesting. It's about relationships? It feels that way. Like every movie i've seen that was interesting was about relationships. What else is there? Situations? It is also a relationship. And they do that because it feels better for them that way.

I can let go at that. Let them be on their way. I don't have to fight anything as it is what it is. She wants her independence then so be it. But there has to be respect in this home. Everyone respect each other otherwise it's going to be hell for everyone. I see. What else to write about?

Why am I not wanting that situation? It's not me. This is why it's there. These kids don't really like it when their mom is around. It's because she is a neg at times. She tends to control everything and that is negative energy. But why am I seeing this reflection? It's contrast. This tells me which way to go to make it work.

It is already working. The contrast is there to guide you. You have a state of being and the contrast is there to help you make adjustments. Why was the stake in place? That I don't really need it. I have something in place here and now I can move forward with it.

This is page three and have until the end of this page. Son is not going to school today. He has been working at it for a few days now. Wife is coming home early today. The kids are not excited about it. I feel it's easier when we don't have dinner. We can get together anyway.

She don't spend as much time around here anyway. She can sit on the table and have hot cocoa. That is a choice. I can talk to her about that later. I talk to both sides about it. She is already a young adult. She has to assert herself and be there. I need to throw out them old clothes. I can do that when I go out. I make edits here and there and this is where I am right now. How come they are up early? I don't know.