I have shifted. I am not playng poker for a while. It was disappointinc that playing the same way I did years ago, it's no longer profitable. What changed? The only thing that I am not doing now is cbet all the time. Should I? I can look into that, more so on multiway pots. But that is not here.
I am leaving at noon to get kids uniform at school. It's almost term break. Wife is witch at this time. Whenever she is broke she is like this. She even planned something for easter, good thing that it got cancelled.
Why am I feeling anxious about this? Am I reflecting her source code? But this is my reflection. I created this. What am I getting out of it? That I can find the light from here. That I am unconditional with her even if she is a contrast to my light. That, given these reflection, I can still choose.
If so, expand from these. No need to put conditions and expectations. It's been like this since she got here. What happened there? That we are able to be above water all this time. But this time, I am serious about getting work in the ict field. I start with tech support then expand from there. I don't know how, it'll get there. All I do is be in the light. No expectations.
In the meantime, I finish clang in 21 days book. I convert them into dlang. I learn this and that while I am there. This is the path in front of me. I leave later when the sun is higher. Need water for that.
Done. I grab something to eat before I go. I can go straight to library. It's a short ride from there anyway. I am not doing anything here anyway and I need the variety. What happened there? The situation changed. I have a limit short in place. Is it going there? I think so. It is below the 200ma. It's on that side. But it has gone so far down this could be bottom. Trade what you see not what you think.
I was gung ho going long yesterday and missed out on that big short. Should I trade this as well? I don't know. We'll see what happens. In the miantime, leave it as is. You will learn what you need here when you go. I prefer the euraud long better as it's above and still near the 200. it is a better long for me and I am waiting for pullback to confirm support levels hold and that the bulls are in this market.
In the meantime, I do morning pages. This is part of my daily process. When I work, I can write at night. I am applying for other positions. When it don't work out that way, I can find something else. What am I looking for here? I dont know yet. Is this right for me? Should I look for something else instead?
I don't know. This is what interests me. Let's do this, then get to the other side. I can do volunteer work for tech support at the hospice shop. Do they need it? I think so. If not, do something else. At least get something going. Or get something else altogether. I can do front end dev. There's still much to do in there. I still have to learn dot net with that. I can finish that in a week. That's how easy things are to learn. Practice is what takes time. Do something else then. Like what?
I don't know. For now, finish writing. This is what's here. Or I can do something else. I can carry my resume around and look for opportunities. I don't think I want work where there be expectations. I can work there, but when they expect a result, I am not sure I want to go there. The result is a reflection of your sob. When you are otherwise, you don't see the reflection you prefer.
I can't teach that to anywone. All I can do is be in my own light. No need to tecah. They get what they need when they need it. What is next for me? Getting to the dentist. Should I trade that eddie? The market is going sideways now. Maybe the day chart is ready to move up? It's almost halfway through the year. What do you think? Then look for entry on that side of the fence. It's still below the 200 but at least it looks like them bulls are here.
Is it better to trade? I don't know. I don't know much anymore. Maybe it is, or not. Do eddie exclusively. That way, you get a bigger picture and understand the motions better. Or do something else. I did well with just eddie. I tried others but they did not read well for me. This is page two anyway. There be people who are die hard with their faith. This and that. No need to judge them. If it works for them, so be it.
How come wife gets a different reflection? Her aura is so heavy. At times I don't want to be with her. Is this going to go south or do I look to go long on signal? There be plenty of time here. Do nothing. Wait for better setup and take it that way. So be it then. It's not going anywhere anyway.
For now, I write. There is a discomfort in my teeth. Need to see dentist. Or I can heal myself. Path of least resistance is to heal myself. Man. Why am I here? I am getting something out of this anyway. It's not that I don't want to hang out with her. It's that her baggage, she can't let go.
What can I do about it? Notihng. Do your own thing and go from there. Do I even need windows now? Not at the moment. Leave it there. I have shifted again. I don't know anything else. This is my light for me. Do I short this now? Volatility is going down. Do nothing.
This is going to go sideways for a while. Take a look back when tokyo is open. That's after lunch and around the time my son gets back from school. The kids go on break on thursday. Friday is a holiday. Wife would rather work. At home, she bitches about cleaning. That's her.
What can I do here? I don't know. Trust that it's there for you. May have to kiss a lot of frogs here. I can take wellington jobs? That will take me there. Maybe there be something there for me. We'll see. How to get that interview? I don't know. We'll see.
I can write a good cover letter. I can connect with that. Things can expand from there. I am thinking this through rather than connecting to flow. You want to connect and then write what comes to mind. It seems that I have worries then. Yes. That is true. What can I do here?
Write about it. Put hem on paper, then publish. That's all I can do. No need to get audience. I am writing for my own benefit. I write to put this out of my system. This way, I see it apart and can allow that to be there. It's here in my consciousness. Writing it puts it in the real world where I can do something? Not really .noly to write about it.
I finish these then I can have breakfast. I post these. It's still early. I did not have dinner anyway. I wonder if we are going to grocery later. The kids are going to ask about it when they get home. Let's see what happens then. Maybe we can. She knows the ref is empty anyway. I am not sorry I quit that job. It was hell for me. There's always something else. I learned something from that interview. I can use this for the next one.
It's always a learning experience for me. How to move up from here? I don't know yet.