I am feeling overwhelmed. I don't have a job. I don't mind but it's the wife that bugs me. She's not happy. Why am I letting that decide how I feel? How is that connected to mine? I had carbs that's why. I think that's the level I need to check in. how to get there?
I don't know yet. Do what's next. You then decide from there. Right now, I write. Do I want to continue with that tutorial? Like, finish one tutorial each day. Go over it. That's how you add to your list. If I have to write then I do two pages. This is where I am. Should I run? Son is at home and needs someone to be with him. Can I run later after the girls get home? There be people in the field. Why not run tomorrow morning?
I can do it that way. Trash was collected. Do one tutorial, finish it. Then you have one under your belt. In a month, that be a lot. I have mongodb installed. I have php. I have practically every tool that I will use. Do I really want to get a job? Or is a business better for me?
It's the clients. Where do you get them? You network. You then help people out. They will ask things. You give answers. You help out. What's next for me? That blogger group looks interesting. I can expand from there. That im group also looks promising but it's too far from the city. It's a long walk. What's next then?
Is this failure? Only when I say so. It's not definite where I am headed but I am moving forward. I allow that. I choose it to eb that way. At times the local mind wantsto know but all I can say is that this here is connected. No need to invalidate where I am now. It is my frequency that I need to check in on.
How to deal with wife worries? I don't know. It's her baggage. My responsibility is to stay in my light. She has that tchoice but she chooses otherwise. I can't help her in that way. What can I do different today? I lost that thing there. I can go tomorrow or do something else later.
I can go out for a walk there. It's not raining hard. It be showers. I can bring the umbrella. That be a fine walk later on. Finish one tutorial. It's five hours. You do one hour, take a break. You do that the rest of the day. That is how you get there. In a month, you have learned a lot of skills that way.
You build up your github account. Do they teach that? I don't think the wife gets it. I don't get why she chooses that way but this is my reflection. Everything is here and now. This is my creation. Why do I want to change it? There's something here for me. Even when it only serves as an echo, and contrast, it is still of use for me. Then I use it that way.
Be in the moment. Use it as contrast. What else is there for me. I can play with the son. He can play with his mom later but there be plenty of things there for them. I can resume with that mongod tutorial. That is one thing that has kept me back here. I can finish that the move on to the next. I can create my own sites this way?
I can even do that cradle thing. Is there a good couchdb tool? I can look it up. There is that module I used before. It still works anyway. I can go there and learn more of that. That's how you learn anyway. You look into other people's code and see it that way.
This is page two and I am halfway through. Finish these. I took a nap and woke up feeling not wanting to do anything. I start from here. No need to revert. I have a choice now. I am in this moment. I can expand from this. What's next? Drink plenty of water. It's my choice. Everything is connected. I keep repeating that. Not much to write anyway.
When does it come? Do you even want clients there? Who needs this service? People on the internet are looking for that. I think this here is my path. I can work on one and get to the other side. I take it there and see what happens. I time myself for one hour each time. I take a break when the hour is done. No questions asked. You do that and build on that habit. At the end of the day, you finish one module.
I think that be a good goal each day. The job will follow. You then get clients no matter what they are. Send proposals. Build up github and see what you can do from there. What's here now is that you do an hour timed then break fifteen. I can even break for an hour if need be.
Break fifteen or twenty is good enough. I can start after I finish posting this. This is the daily victory. This is what I can do at this moment. This is why I write. I get insights when I write but not limited to this. I get insights whenever they are here. I don't have to figure it out. I just let go.
I am done.