New year's day. It has been raining since past midnight last night and we are still in camp. The sides of our tent are wet on the inside. I am surprised that they kept us dry (almost) all through the night. I woke up after midnight and did not get back to sleep until after 3.
what happened? The wind on the tent was making too much noise. Rain on the tarp was noisy. It felt like all that was driving me crazy. So much negative energy was coming up through me and I was overwhelmed. I feel like all I can do was sit in the light and let allow it all to just be.
What happens now? I do what I think is right for everyone concerned. Wife said off-hand yesterday that I never make big decisions. In a way, that was a compliment. I somhew too that negatively. I would have let that go through but I was in negative energy and responded that way.
It's not that I was not making big decisions. It's that when I do make decisions that are not aligned with her definitions, we have a fight over it. I have been more positive with her definitions. I see it that she does things that she thinks is right, although those definitions are a bit limited.
It is based on her religious beliefs and definitions. I am not letting myself be limited by all that. I am hungry. I can pack up while they make ready for breakfast. I can choose to join them for breakfast, or have something on the way.
Someone is up. I think it's eldest daughter. They can and will come to the car, but maybe it's dry in their tent, marm as well. So be it. We go home today. No more of this for the rest of the year. I don't like the way she plans things. I did come along to be with the kids. That lady is hot.
Will I be able to get one of those? Why not? See the definitions there? I see that too. Somone is out of the tent. She might want to go to toilet? I don't know. What is that. She is so organized and responsible. I am glad with how she turned out. Proud has something to do with ego. I am proud but not that I am responsible for how she grew up.
There's like moisture on the surface of everything. This is the last day at camp. Tomorrow we go home. This is also the last day of the year. I am no longer that person who indulges, fills himself with carbs.
Several times this week, I had the opportunity to eat carbs. It would have been reasonable(?) since we are away and low carb meals are hard to find, but I stuck with it. I can recharge this laptop at night or when the kitchen is empty.
I am sure an opportunity will open up where I can charge these some other place in the meantime, I will use this. The wife and kids are still sleeping. There is a loud voice over those bushes. Plenty of new people around here.
We are all learning as we go along. This is an opportunity to drain these batterise. I can recharge later. I think tht is one person on the phone. These folks with the nice toys own their business. If they were employees, they'd have that grind look on their face.
I fed the birds with old bread. The ducks were picky about it. They left after a few bites. They must have better choice around here. What will interest you moving forward? Pentesting is interesting. Writing? Maybe so. But that has so much expectations tied to it.
Maybe it is your expectations. Why not try something else instead. Like what? I don't know yet. Creating my own toys. Trading and machine learning. Those are two things that I enjoy as well. It's in your phone. Look there and see where you are headed.
Where do I post these? Keep it in here and see how things go. Until tomorrow, you won't be able to do anything about it. Maybe the neighbors went on vacation too. There isn't a lot of indians here. Why is that. Even when we were in rotorua, there were not a lot in there.
It's the minimum essentials maybe. I wouldn't choose this unless I chose it. Maybe they have a different path. Their interests are different. If it were me, i'd stay near the city. We could have gone out for buffet or something. Leave it as is and see where this is going.
Then what? Keep to your interests. It's all connected. This is my definition. It's what the cpu is running. I think. I get negative feedback and I can look into source code. I slept better last nigth. I did wake up some time after four, but I was able to go back to sleep.
There's pain in my shoulder from last nigth's sleep. Wife is still sleeping. We couldn't have sex around here as she has to pee and it's a long walk to the camp toilet. We'll catch up when we get home. That's the first thing we do in fact.
I have package coming next week. It's the laptop bag which is a backpack. I also have iron skillet for the wife plus a chef knife. The iron skillet is to season to show her what a true non-stick pan is. I am also going to start making donuts. I have seen a recipe where you can fry them.
I think I bookmarked them last time. It's easy to find one on the internet anyway. Follow your path. Be in your light and you will see the reflection all around you. It don't matter where you think it's headed. Be open to synchronicity. It's not about having all the toys. It's that state of being.
That you who has all the toys, did not have the state of being that you have now. I can charge the phone again after I move some of my bashar stuff into this. In the meantime, get aligned and see how things go. I can stop writing soon as I finish two pages.
What happens next. I could have grown my own club in here if I chose to. But that has too much conflict in it. Do something else in the meantime. For now, only do this. Would it have been fun. I don't know. I'd make friends. Wife might not be happy with it altogether.
For now, this is where I am. Stick with this and it leads to you. It shows your reflection. You can expand from there. It's all here and now. What you do is to be more aware of your frequency so you will see.
Is this me writing this way? Maybe I can write a different way. I can do that. These people look nice anyway. It's this and that. You always have a choice. That is a natural red head. Man. I am getting old. What to do now?
I had a great time with the wife and kids. I was that person that I chose to be. Everything was perfect. Contrast was there as feedback. I am using that now.