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f*ck you money

I got stopped out twice and got upset. I should have stopped trading. I was in negative space. I allow that. This is how you make it positive. I learned something there. I am upset. Wife's birthday is tomorrow. I am in broke land.




I do not see myself as poor. For me, poor means you do not see what your choices are. For one, you can align your thoughts to peace of mind. That is the state of being of being at peace. Not making sense here and that's alright.

Wife don't want to go to bed yet. I keep her company. I got nginx to work. It just needed some config files taken care of. Does that mean there's not a lot of people that use it? Probably so. I should have made an entry to my blog for future reference. I'll do that next time.




Should I install manjaro on the acer? Nobody's using it much. I stopped playing poker now so I don't use it as much. It's my backup laptop now. I have moved to that level. I can install my stuff in there when I can find a bash script for that.

The thing is, how do you do that in arch? I can look it up. Surely there is a way to install everything on auto-pilot. Who is that sidekick? There be people watching that. I don't think wife is watching. She is just whiling her time away. Is she working? I don't know. She's on her laptop. Probably working as it's her office laptop.




I write as I am not doing much here. I am waiting for wife to get sleepy. Past week I have someone to keep me company at home. That's nice. It's always changing anyway. You want to be a part of a team? I can do php and trade on my free time. How to get more of that?

Trading alone can get me there but will it take time? I can learn much watching the market. There must be an indicator telling me that it's gone sideways and you shouldn't trade. That first stop was a good signal there. I know better next time.




For now, keep writing. I have music in the background. It's so hot that inside the headphones it gets hot as well. Can't wait for winter. I am on my path this time? It's different? I don't know anymore. Let it be there. The nexus 5 is now working. I did a factory reset as wife suggested. It makes sense. It could have been caused by a software update or malware.

I wiped all data and now everything is good as new. I can make it better and just let that be. How is that when you are one of the richest persons in the world? I don't know. People are ready to kiss your a**. that could be interesting. It has to be life-work balance. If when you are enjoying what you do, you do not have to go that way.




What do I enjoy doing? Writing? For myself, yes. For others, no. I do this for myself. What else is here? Listening to good music. These headphones are awesome. It's such a good investment for me. It's aleady been a year and it's still working well. Consider that the sennheisers did not last a year, I could have bought three of that and it wouldn't sound as good as this one.

I can work with this for as long as it's here. Let's get working again. That is interesting. I like going there. The kids can take care of themselves now. I can fund my business that way. When do you quit? When you have enough in there. Also the student loan needs financing already. Let's get going then.




Which field? Web development sounds good. There's a hefty ad always for php devs. I can do that. I can finish a tutorial each day. That gets me ready in a week. I can keep adding to by git account. That builds up the portfolio. Let's get going there then.

Will I get a new laptop? I don't know. You know how to do this. I have aws experience. I can grow stuff from there. What am I not seeing here? I don't know yet. Learning new stuff. I learn fast anyway. I can go in that direction and see how things go.




That is weird. How would anyone want to fuck that? It's part of the story. Someone pays good money for that. This is karaoke. no. it's the original. He's gone now. This is his legacy. That's where you are headed. How to get yourself going in that direction? I don't know yet. I haven't created anything of value here.

Given the chance, I can pull together something from google. I don't have to learn everything. Tell me which way to go and I can get that right. That is sexual tension there. I wonder why there be no sex happening in there? I don't know. That is part of the equation.

That scene there is classic.