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in the light

My resolve is on a downtrend. What's the motivation here? That having carbs is a good thing, will make me feel good. Is that true? Short term, as in while I am eating it—it's going to feel good. After i'm done eating, regret will set in for the rest of the day, and could linger for several days.




What to do here? I am bored? I am not in the light. See it. Allow it that way and you will see. My phone keeps restarting, or I think it's restarting. Maybe it's just a feature with cmmod. I am going to observe that. If I have carbs, it's going to be clean carbs? You don't will not like that regret phase.

What are my options then? Get out for a walk. The kids are going to have ice cream. Just get out and do something else. These flies are fast. I see that thing come up often. What does it do. I don't see the google logo though when it reboots. Why is that there? Maybe it's something else. Like what? I am sleepy.




Wife will cook sweet and sour fish. There's rice. It's still regret for dessert. You don't like that. It's not what I prefer. It'll feel terrible for the rest of the day. I can go out and ride my bike. Or do something else. Like writing. I can listen to bashar. Them chat with traders is boring.

This is why I write. Just keep writing. It's going to put you into this mode and that. What else can we do here? I think that place in ultra was good. There was so much space in there. I wonder why they gave that up? I don't know either. I can't remember. Anyway, this is where we are now. I mean just me. It's not part of me anymore. I have moved on since.




Would I still be there if things did not change? I'd probably be bored with it. Or something else. It's the two older kids that are having a great time. It's different for each one though. They are back. The phone or the cmmod logo keeps coming up. I'd see the google logo if it were there, so I guess it's not really a restart.

What is it then? Kids got a new shoe. And they got ice cream. It's not for me. Do something else. This is what I do now. Keep writing. I can go take a nap. The sleepy phase is over. Wife is about to make lunch. Sisters are here. I want to take a nap. I can do that but other one is going to commandeer our room. Sit here and finish writing.




What does it feel like to finish writing? You are never really finish anyway. It just keeps going. At some point you say this is good enough. You publish then. Wife will make the sweet and sour sauce now. There be things here coming up.

I can go take a nap in the couch. There be flies but it's manageable. I can take a nap later on then. Was that synchronicity? I am watching y phone and it's soon to get that animation going. I think I see that now and then. What causes that?




I have meetup by the end of the month. I am in this frequency and I am done here. There's plenty more for me here instead. Wife is still going around in circles. Why can't she start cooking? She gets easily distracted. That happens to me too. I plan on doing something yet end up with something else.

For me though that is synchronicity. That anymation just comes up. It's not really a restart. What then? Kids get water from the main container. You know which ones do not refill. Maybe I get another one? Better yet? Something else that's more in alignment. When is she going to start cooking?




Am I hungry or just bored? I am bored. Finish writing then take a nap. I will go out for a walk at sunset. I enjoy that. Daughter's friend goes out to walk with her parents. I am getting upset here. Why are these things here? That is passive aggressive actions. Why can't they deal with it directly? That way, you can fix it. Why is that here anyway?

Allow it to be. I don't have to deal with that now. I am sleepy. Wife don't want me to ask her where she looked? It's because I need to know where it's not. This way, I can see in my head where I saw it last. If they can't find it there, then it must be someplace else. Why does she label that as negative?




Why not just look for it instead? Family is what puts me here? Of course not. It's my decision to go here. I can choose otherwise. I can choose. It's my responsibility to make choices. No one can force their decisions on you. You let them or you don't.

What if it were just that?