I am what I was anxious about...parent with lost sheep. She's not really lost. She just did not meet expectations. The thing is, I shouldn't have expectations in the first place. Let me sit on this for now.
I don't know how to deal with this. Was I too lax? Was the wife right? Is she going to get out of control now? I don't want to have to guard everything in here. Is she still getting a laptop? She has to get a job. She can't just sit in there doing nothing.
What about the rest of the family? Is this going to break everything? I hope not. Well, if it's going to break, then so be it. I will sit on this and see it through. Sit not meaning do nothing about it. Sit means I will make myself in a comfortable position so I can deal with it best.
What's the best way here? I don't know. For now, it's no internet until her grades get better. Or she gets a job. No job, no internet. What else? She has more time in her hands. Do I need to pass away so she will learn how to stand up? I don't think so. There are other siblings.
I guess it is going that way? There is a different path? Treat her like family still but there be restrictions until she gets mature enough. She is done with that part of the equation. Is it normal that she went through that. Now I am not interested in nudes anymore. I feel like I wasted time there. Did I?
Is this the consequence of my decisions? It is. It's all mine. Where should I have stepped in? I don't know. I should have been more involved? I guess so. I have two other teenagers. What happens next? Can she internet in the living room? I don't know. Can she? Of course she can. No uploads though. I am going to get that cable?
How else can she make uploads? Bluetooth? You can't really block that. She don't need the internet. Not yet. Not now. She did not want my intervention? I guess so. Was it my fault then? It is. It's all connected anyway. What now? Be in the light at all times. Everything happens for a reason.
It's going to be tough now. Is it? I thought we could be that family that was positive in all ways. Isn't this an opportunity to respond in a positive way? It's always an open invitation. You can choose in alignment or not. I don't know what's going to happen next. Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. Choose the best decision at all times. Choose in alignment.
Will it get to that? I don't know. Right now, it's not. Everything is in conflict. I cannot change them, I can only change myself. This is acceleration. What now? Just be in this moment. If you cannot be pleased with yourself, at least point downstream. You don't have to fight everything.
Will I be here? I don't know. Is this a situation for her to learn about her powers? I don't know. She has them. It's up to her to choose not to go to school. When she learns that, what then.
I am starting to tear up. I am having a conversation with my daughter. She has been patient. She thinks good. I see that. Am I the one to bring balance to the force? Everyone is. It's everyone's job. You know how to do that anyway. How do you apply that to this situation?
Be in the moment. Is this how all my kids are going to be? That's sad. Why not let them be? She has disappeared from the roster. It's like she's not there anyway. So be it then. So be it. Do I have to be firm with her? Just be open. Ask her how things are going to go forward.
I don't think she can go online again. Not in this term at least. There's two months remaining in this term. If the guy is in love with her, then two months he'd still be there. I don't think he'll be there though.
We'll see then. Just be open in the moment. Grades? She can work on that. If she was smart, she'll make better grades than her sister. I don't want passing grades. She's not doing anything anyway. She has to excel at something. She has a choice. I want her at awards? That's for the end of the year.
That's when she'll get internet on her phone then. In the meantime, get better grades. Excel at something in school. It has to be the highest grade possible in that category or that is not excel. Is it unreasonable?
She has to put effort into it.