What if i've been wrong all along? What if I took this other path things would be different? Things are different all the time. Why am I here then? What are you getting out of it? You see the path? You can change that. It's why it's here. You have a choice. You have that freedom.
How do I change it then? Change your response to it. Why do you fight it? Why do you not want it in your life? You have it in contrast. It's feedback. It's giving a wall to propel yourself with. Why not use it? Use up the energy and the energy changes. It's physics--as you already know.
Did I write yesterday? Am I afraid again? I had that yesterday. I get that way everytime I go to the city. I want things. It's not out there. It's yours anyway. When you get how everything is, you know it's yours. You don't have to fight the illusion. Use the energy.
How do you know that's true. Is that even real. You have been on this path for decades. When you let go, things go your way. Right now I don't know which way to go, or who I am. That's good then. You are malleable. You can be anyone you say you are. Why believe her. She doesn't know anything. She don't get it.
Because I let it affect me. I choose that. Why not be the person you are. Choose to be in your own light. Everything reflects off that. Why not be in that light? Because I want to have control as to where I am going. You already have that. You control it but not the way you think it is supposed to. I have echo then. Let it be there but choose how and who you prefer to be.
It's contrast for you. Use the contrast. You've been here before. Do I have to respond negatively? I don't know. All I know is that it don't have to be there. Then I don't have to control anyone. Everything is here and now anyway. I can do this and I can choose. Do I get that today? I do yoga later tonight. I do that now since the kids are on school break.
I don't have access to the room. Will she know there is no internet for her at home. Why fight it? I don't want her to go there. Then you are controlling things. Be in your own light and you will see your reflection. If that has to be there then that is supposed to be there. Use your energy.
You don't have to invalidate it. It's her process. You are connected. It's there for you to use. Use the energy. What does that mean? It means it's there for you to use. Dive into the deep end. Everything is there for you. What is not there is not relevant. You know that. Which path this time? I can go out and run. Are the kids going to be there this time? Then go run after lunch when it's warm.
Or not. Do this for two weeks? I think this is the first week. Soon it changes and when you get to that part you can do something else. For now, it's here. What are you going to do about it? I saw a reflection last night. It's solving problems getting things done and connecting with people. You have that. You are good with that. You know how it's connected. You can make this work. You don't even have to go that way.
What happens then? I don't know yet. You are not going there? Why not? It's outside validation. I already know who I am. I can live in that cottage and just be in my light. You don't have to fight the outside. It's your energy anyway. Why would you fight your own reflection. That's silly. Am I knowing all this? Then just keep writing. I have thatin there. What am I doing here. Why am I after that paycheck?
You know which way to go. Do that. You don't have to be like someone else. You are different anyway. You will never be like someone else. Some days are so clear you can see right through the blue sky. Other days are so cloudy that you don't know when it's going to end. Why did it turn like this? How do you go back?
You were coasting. Am I? How do I change that? Is it her energy? Why do you give your power over to some illusion. You are putting it down. Maybe that's power too. You can put it down and still have it your way. The universe still responds to your calling. You see how that's connected. Maybe I turn it over. It's not that you don't have it.
You see it outside. You can't tell them about it. They are sleeping. How will you wake them up? You can't. You just be your own light and when they are awake, they see your light. When they are not then you are still in the light anyway. You see how it is? Get on that light and just be. You don't even have to have a toy. You already are. You have it anyway.
This is why you have it. You just keep writing and you see what happens. You don't even have to practice. When you are that person, everything falls into place for you. When you pretend you are not, then you see that reflection. Just keep writing then. I can't write all day. What to do today. I go out for a run. I can do that now then have breakfast when I get back.
I go to bed late again. It's her energy. I don't have to go there. This is who I am. Why am I fighting that? At least I am aware of what I do. I can change things from here. I have been writing for a long time. How do you know things are different. Because I choose how I use the outside. I know that. It was different before. It's out in the light this time.
What does that light mean? It means you are not groping in the dark. You know where this is going. You can create something good out of this. Use it then. You don't need the reflection. You know it's there for you. It comes from you anyway. Do you need to take a break? I can choose to take a break. How long? I can be different. You don't need a break when you are different.
Where is it coming from then?