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lack of template

two characters, complete opposite to each other or, they are so similar that like magnets, they repel each other. Each one coming from their own unique direction and path. When they cross, the ego repel each other. But when does it work together? How does it repel each other?




Intention. Both want the same thing, but deep inside, the definitions are different. The local self thinks it's that because the translation is distorted, lack of template. Why did she walk in this rain, this early? What does she get out of it?

Is it mental gratification? Probably. Maybe there is something or someone there that moves her to go. I am thinking that. I put myself in her shoes and i see it. Should i be worried? I think i should but higher self tells me that this is part of her process. That if i put in negative, then negative comes out the other end.




And the same with my story. One has negatives, the other is more allowing because of upbringing. The other is controlling hence becomes negative in nature. Even if the intention looks good on the outside, the frequency or signal it sends out is negative. It has a lot of expectations to it.

The other has learned to allow for things to happen. This person knows that everything is connected. It's there for a reason even if it were there to simply give contrast. As contrast, it's feedback you can use. This person has expectations that trips him up in his path. But soon as he realizes what his signal is about, he gains clarity. He gave up expectation and moves spirals expands.




It doesn't matter that he wins a round or not. He is being consistent. The other has training and money. This one has resources and abundance and synchronicity. This one has spirit connected to flow. What are his flaws weakness as a human being? Is he selfish? He has insecurities. Growing up outside, he thinks he is not worthy.

This is his habitual thinking. It's his pattern. But hen he sees how the signal feels like, he checks into his source code and makes the necessary changes. This is what his process is about. It's an ongoing process for him. It is ever expanding. Will he win this competition?




He can but would it be better if he didn't? That to him, it's an ongoing process. That him not winning will bring about relevant details that will show him who he really is, that he has the power to create his own world. Is that too deep? Of course not. He loses this title but gains something bigger.

He goes ahead and expands. He works at a top restaurant that gives him more clarity. He learns from the masters this way. He learns from the white belts as well as from the blacks. Everything for him is an opportunity to reveal himself and to raise his frequency.




What situation can this be? Maybe he gets more time to move around in the market and talk to people. Maybe he travels the world and picks up techniques here and there. How will this be made manifest to him? Will he have his own restaurant? But that is going to anchor weigh him down.

What moves his souls is the exploration and learning. Maybe he joins the competition not for the title, but for the exploration. The title is irrelevant. He'll take it as far as it will go and push his oppontent to improve himself. At the finals, he intentionally fails.




Those who know will see what he did. He intentionally did or did not do something to lose the title. Casual onlookers thinks something odd happened. The judges are aware of this. Their hands are tied though and had to give the title to the antagonist. The antagonist doesn't still get it. His arrogance shows through and everyone can see it.

How do you tell this with more clarity? This is the keyword here. You tell it the way yuo see it. I see the outline. I am soon going in and write the scene. The outline is clear then the scenes come out from the characters themselves. I don't have to think things through. I am only the channel here.




This is what the story is about. What is he going to do next? He continues his exploration. People do not have to know who he is. Some will but it's not important. What's important is the exploration. Is it? Eventually, the contract ends. Because of the negative nature of the antagonist, he repels everything he wants. He is still the poor little rich boy.

He realizes thts and in the end, converts. How? Is this relevant? Why not something else. This doesn't feel right. Maybe in a future story, i can go into this. I am looking for an ending. See that. You lost connection there. The ending is not going to come from you. It's coming from the characters. They will show you how it ends.




Put it all in that one story. You can move henceforth when you have everything in the bag. For now, connect and you have all of it in place. I go do the kids' lunch. What happens today? I think we have rain. We'll see how it goes. I had five hours of good sleep. I can play with this then. It don't matter if dream be not. I can always connect.

Use simple words that everyone can understand. Do not bog down with too much tdetails. Use only what is relevant and will move the story forward. You do not pad with too much description. Show as much as you can. Give them the experience. Nothing more.




You see where that's going then. The rains stopped but the winds are there. It was her decision. She chose that. Why so? I'm not sure. It's all there anyway. It's connected. I have more than enough. I can move forward with this. You do so inside out. What is on the outside can only affect you when you let them.

But when you are inside out, nothing outside will get you off your signal. It's all about how clear that signal is. Discipline is not what you want. You can be all over the place but when your signal is clear, the universe comes to you. There is that thing. So the story is about clarity then.




Protagonist is so clear that the universe can't help itself but be relevant to him. The other thinks he needs discipline to bring results but this trips him up. The signal and intention oppose each other. This is what you see in the world. Be clear. That the universe is resonant means a lot.

It's not the rebel but that he has a different source code. It's not about talent. This kid grew up with nothing so he learned to use everything. Without this curiosity, he would not get context. It's how you gain context. You figure out how things work. This is why you talk to people. The master chef does not have all the answers.




You go out to market and talk to people. Someone will have a technique or ingredient that gives adds to context. This lets you use it at when the timing is right. The other one relies on the master teacher. It's a title conferred by ego. You don't want that. Learn from the white belts.

This is what your story is about. One learns from self proclaimed masters whereas the other one learns from the universe. Protagonist grew up with nothing to connect with everything. The antagonist had a silver spoon and had training from all over the world. He has all the toys in the world. He even has a flair for good taste. But he misses one thing. Curiosity.




Curiosity brings creativity. Not wanting but emptiness. When your cup is empty, the universe can fill it up. Antagonist always has a masterful recipe in his head. But when the ingredients throws you a curve ball, what can you do about it?

You create something new. You use the flavors and do simple elevated. You create with as few ingredients but the taste complements each other. Even when it's opposing, the effect is positive. How do you do that? It's all in the natural ingredients.

There is testing.


more around there

i don't have to fight her, or prove my point in any way. I can't change anyone anyway. I can only change myself. Why does that have to be sad? Isn't it liberating?




It's sad because i enjoy spending time with her. She's a good person, if you look at the big picture. Is there anyone better? I don't know. Everyone is different, that's for sure. I am also sure that there could be a better fit. But until i know who that person is, i'll stick with this one.

And, why can't i have both anyway? It's not this or that, it's this and that. You already know this. I am open to this. I did not feel like having coffee this morning. There is hockey and we leave after four. I get back and send the car to wife. I'll do yoga, write then go out for a run. If i fall asleep then, that's good. If not, so be it.




The game is at kristin school. I like it there. The parking is not a problem and so is getting out. They widened the roads there. Easy for us to get in and out. What else is there? Just write. I can go check out that dojo at rosedale. I was there before. I think you can see plenty more around there.

It's a monday. I have been provided for all my life. I guess this is where i am now. Am i going to save that company? I'm broke right now. Am i going to regret this? If taxes are due, i am going to pay them anyway. Why not get this over and done with. The sooner you do that, the easier it'll be to get things done.




I can move to europe anyway. Let's get cracking with this and see what comes out the other side. It's all a part of the process. If you get to make a good book, then it's going to be all connected. You don't have to be wildly successful. Just get to the other side and you'll see what happens.

Wife comes home late today. The ref is almost empty. I think we'll make it through tomorrow. The kids at least two of them have money and will buy their own food anyway. I can do something else in the meantime. Do more with less is the process now. Let's get with it then.




Is it going to be difficult? Only if i think it through. But when i am in the moment, you hardly notice these things. It's almost eight. I finish writing then i can get on with my day. If not, i can always do something else. If i were writing someone a letter, is this going to help?

It may seem like it. They automate these things. So that you have to take a screenshot and show how it is. You then ask where is it that the problem is. You can go that way or not but if it is going to be so, let it be. How did they get there? They claim to have played ten thousand hours. Is that true?




Shouldn't people not want to listen to them if they started out terribly? Or was their path different? Is that a cop-out? It feels like it but therein lies your process. It's not a cop-out if you set out to match frequency. You get with it then. What's in store for today? How long will this hockey last?

We do this until september. That's a long way to go. I would have been over and done with this months, years ago. What is different? I am blaming someone else. If i were in this light then could i behave differently? I think so. Then let it be here then. I will use up the energy.




If it is to be it is up to me. That's a lot of two letter sentences. I used to live that way. What happened? I started blaming someone else. Now that you are aware of it, how do you change it? You allow for it to be there, then let go. Just be aware of it. When you see the forest from the trees, you are out of that forest.

And so it is with this life. I see it. I am aware of the habit. I can choose to let go. I can choose differently. It's all opportunity from here on. I get that. I don't have to preach that. I simply get on with my life. I have been dwelling on this. I am processing the information. This is coming out different on the other side. I get back i do yoga. Then i write then i go for a run.




This is my life now. Walk later? Of course. I forgot this was my schedule. Then we can do something different. I wonder if that thing is going down on thursday. I never received confirmation. They need to send confirmation for them. So be it then. That's a new thing. I am teaching them to be independent. They can still blame you for their life.

That's their decision. I don't have to fight it. Right now i am broke. I can't even buy my own food. This is why you are building up skills in this department. How do you know you have it? You write your own book. Replace fiction with whatever genre you want.




Half the market is in the romance genre. Women buy more books than men. You can write from this perspective. It is from here that people want to experience. They want something different. Your point of view is unique. Why write like everyone else? You give them the advantage that way.

How then should i write? Write as if you were telling your friend about your day. Write one to one. They don't get how it works. They do so from their point of view. And it's limited that way. This is why you don't teach. It will never work. They have to recognize and acknowledge what they learn.




But how do you move forward? You get on with your life, period. You can live by example. Again, you don't have to. You can be at peace with this? Of course. How will this move forward then? I still don't know. It is what it is. You don't have to...i have been in the negative since i had that thought.

Now that i am aware of it, i can leave it at that. I don't have to fight to get that idea off my head. Doing so only gives it more power. I can simply let go. I can say, ok, you sit there if you want. I can observe you from where i am. Stay if you want, or go. I don't care.




Then it starts to dissolve. You don't have to describe what's outside or how the weather is or what you are doing. It's irrelevant. Why do they do it that way then? I don't have the slightest idea. That is cliche isn't it? I guess so. But the communication should be direct and one to one.

Write like you do to your mom. You used to write long letters back then. Let's get right back to it. You write a lot. Sometimes i wrte twice daily. Then writing is not the problem. Connecting to flow is? Isn't this putting it outside of yourself? You intend to be responsible about this. Writing is about making decisions.




Then make that choice. What is going to happen next. Write it down. Show if you have to. Write the process if you have to. But not to use adjectives. Write what's going on what is happening here and now. How to get from point a to point b. Then you are doing good writing. You are precise.

You are clear when you write that way. You can do otherwise. It's up to you. I miss riding. I need to get out more often. Let's do that. Let's get more experience into our bag. Talk to people how do you do that then? Find them with gaps in their soul. They need patching up? I don't know. You want to be at peace. Get to it then.




You don't have to change people. You already know that. How do you get from here to there? I don't know yet. At least the games there are quiet. Those fields are big. How do they play more games there? Maybe there be other games during the week. I guess so. Why did he not do a different game?

That's his choice. I support him in that decision. I can post this later. If there's plenty of time, i can finish these now. No need to put off later. I can write later. I can do screencast, or not. That book would have been interesting. Let's read it again through this one.

So be it.


the shining wasn't

does it matter what they preach? If there's a lot of testing behind it, then why not. You get to stand, rather benefit from that report. You can see if it's going to work for you. If not, you will attract to you bring to yourself what's relevant for you.




I'm done watching tv series. Is it the director or the writer? The shining wasn't good--the movie i mean. The book must have been good for them to make them into a movie. I've seen other movies by king. They are scary and good. I'm sure the book is better.

Hollywood seldom gets it right turning books into movies. A lot are lost in translation. I had this dream earlier. It was weird. I pickep up a skill and i'm not sure what that meant. I didn't get to sleep sooner.




This kid's up and is preparing her own breakfast. As much as i want everyone to eat together, it's not going to work. We are all different persons. I see that i carry my wife's baggage still. Do i go to the meetup? Am i afraid or do i need to do more writing.

I can do a lot of writing. Everything i need is here and now. I learn my own stuff this way. Then get out of that group if you don't have to go. If it's not a good fit, when it's not a "hell, yeah!" response, you are not opening up to what's next for you.




It's too far. But i enjoy going through that road. That part of town sounds good for me. Is it warmer? I would want to go there. When we made the road trip, i enjoyed it up there. How to get more out of it? I don't know yet, but writing seems like a good fit.

I don't have to go to australia. It's more of the same thing. Europe sounds better. I can easily get around that way. What needs to happen here then? Write. Get your book finished. You will know what comes next after when you get there. Do you need more sleep? Try different what if situations.




I'm not sure what the genre is going to be about. You don't have to finish the novel that way. Make it in smaller chunks. Make an outline, then write short stories per chapter until you finish it. It's simply that--a series of small stories that get you going.

You already know that. Do i still go or not? There's plenty in here to get me going my way. I am leaning towards not going. Am i shutting myself out? Let's go. You were excited about it weeks ago. You were looking forward to it. You are not that filled up today anyway.




It don't matter what you wear. Open up to synchronicity. Staying at home, you seem to not be open that way. What can i make for that cat? There's brisket. What else? I can make sardines after this. I still don't know what to give him. He don't like the cat food.

He likes something from the ref. He is starving to stand there waiting. What can i give him? I don't have chicken in there. He'll have to make do with the cat food for now. We had chicken last night and he wasn't here. He's late for that so we move on to the next one.




I don't know what time i fell asleep. My sleep cycle feels shorter now. I am turning into einstein sleep mode. I get along with more naps. This is good. I cut back on the coffee and i get to time out oten. Let's do that then.

What am i getting out of this? I get to read more. I get to write more. I read without the contacts. I do the laundry after this. I also make some food for my self. That's taking care of business. I gotta pick up two people later. I'm fine with that. What else is there?




I'm not sure. At least i know it's all synchronicity. This means i need to open up. I see that i am not entirely open to it. Let's get this going then. It's that classic i'm going out to get a cigarette story. Man goes out to get something and never come back.

Is that supposed to be with an s? I'm not sure but it is what it is. I still go. I have more than enough in here. I wonder what they do in those meetups. There be writers. And i am not published. Is this something you can learn from? I don't know.




We'll see how it goes. You have a unique set of skills. What's important is that you have a different point of view. That's what people want to read about. You write plain and precise. That's good enough to get you to the other side.

You simply write more to get that going. Write as you will in professional mode. Write as if you already were writing your novel or book. That way, you get to use better grammar. Use dialogue. Develop your characters. As good as it gets was good. See that again and break it down.




What was the aha moment? I'm not sure. I think it's when she saw the good side in the guy. It's when things turned around in the restaurant. I see. Do relationships like that last long enough? Probably. It's all connected that way. She has to make room for him though. It's like the mom is the same age as jack.

That's what's wrong with the movie. They should have gotten someone else. That would have made it better. But it's water under the bridge. If it were your movie, how do you make it better? The story is up there. You only need to find better cast. I see.




What happens now? Continue writing. You are not writing to be a critique. You write because you write. I could fail at this. I'm fine with that. At least i have this up and it's going to go there. It's a lot of work though. I need to get my stuff going then.

There's a workshop. It's the network of writers that i am after. What are my options here? Connect with others? Talk to people. Be open to the experience. You are not writing much in here. You probably need a time out. Why is that cat by the ref?




It's a pavlov response. He gets good food so now he's telling us he wants more. But there's no chicken. The brisket is for later or tomorrow. I don't know what wife is going to make anyway. We get bread later. Or not. What's next?

Do you want to go? I have that much to decide until later. What are my other options here? Go talk to people. Make it be interesting for everyone. It's sad that people have to pair off. Is that out of fear. What am i afraid of? If it were not a factor, would you go?




Of course. I was about to say "hell yeah!" so that means i'm still going. I need to make my food, do the laundry, poop then clean up. I'll get going then. The kids didn't have work today. Things are going to be busy tomorrow.

I'll see what happens next time. For now, post this then get on with your day. I was slouched there. This is a better writing spot as the elbows are low and almost aligned with the wrist. This chair needs lumbar support but the core is engaged. I am good with that.

Time to post.


in my arrangement

i am wondering what the cause is for the insomnia. Is it the tv? Is it the phone? It's already turned off when i go to sleep. I'm thinking it's the tv. Or something else i'm not seeing here.




I may have to make changes in my arrangement. How come i sleep well during the day? It's a rather long nap then. I guess i'll keep it here this way. What happens next? My application was viewed. Que sera sera. If they call me hire me well and good. I am not going to put too much into it.

What do you want to do next? I don't know. I can go look at the website. It looks like everyone elses. They don't offer anything that stands out from the rest. Because of that, they rely on design. It should stand on its own, even if there were no styling on the site, the message should convert.




Anyway, i am not going to puff myself up for that. The moment they see my age or race, they'll decide against. I'd rather spend time on my media company. I am better off with that. What else is here? Why is she leaving without her food? What did i do last night?

I found out that my writing is good enough. That what i go through writing is almost similar to what the author was describing in his book. What's different between us is that he is published, and i am not. I can cross that gap. How do you do that?




Finish my book. I do one morning pages and that's more than enough for the day's minimum. I do this everyday and i get to the other side. What can you do here? Write about concepts. Slice of life sounds good as well. Put the two together and you'll have something good.

I think i can get a connection in there. Let's see how that goes. For now, continue writing this. You also have to start making good videos. About what? I don't know yet. Just finish writing. You have that in place. Let's get cracking with this. Is there enough memory for that phone? That part i am not sure. I may have to use that other one.




How do you deal with that? Remove all the other files? I guess so. I can copy them back later after i'm done with it. Is that kid going to school? I don't know. She has exams. Did someone wake me up earlier? I don't think so. I did went to bed much later. Maybe next time, i go as far down as i can.

Why not start writing over at that side. She's not using it anyway. I can move my stuff over there so i can write. What about that thing there. I can rearrange that. Use one of their books to prop things up. You see there what they are not using. You can use them instead. I get what you mean.




What are my other options? What is possible here? Do this and get to the other side. I drive the wife to bus stop so there's no rush this time. Finish writing. These kids are going to move out soon. The cat was here. I fed him and he's gone again. Where does he go?

Maybe it's time for him to mate. Humans tend to have sex more often. We are sexual beings like that. Given the opportunity, i think twice a week is about normal. Or not. It don't matter much. It's like this anyway. What happens next?




I was off balanced when my father passed away. I was looking for that pillar. Either or, i would have lost balance still. We were young back then but we grew up fast after that. I guess that's the reason for it. In the family, we were first to go there. That's something else.

We did not have the hand-holding that my cousins had. But our process--everyone else's process was different anyway. So i see. You are different and unique because of it. How do you use this then? What do you get out of it now? Everything is here and now. You already know what you got in the past?




It's the feedback. I am going to bed early later? I think so. I have yoga. I'll do that here. Or go in a room and do yoga there. In the meantime, it's what i do here. This kid is quiet anyway when he's at home. I can work with that. The times he gets busy is when he makes his food.

I am quite amazed at how he makes his food. He gets creative with it. I made burgers. There's the chuck steak. I go out for a walk later. Do i skip yoga today? I can go there. I do four a week minimum anyway. Term break is coming up again. I missed that window?




No. Things are different now. I have a habit in place. I write much. How are you? I am writing much these days. I know about structure. Now i need a good idea for a write. Which way do i go. I would like to explore that. I don't have to know everything. Just write and let creation flow through you.

I have a good playlist called writer's flow. There are much followers to it. It's a crutch somewhat. Go there and see how it goes then. You get pockets of music that helps with the drama. But most of the time, the music disappears. It goes in the background and you hardly notice it.




I like listening to it when i read. More so it's good when i write. Or not. But it's quiet and i like the flow when it's in there. I use it later. How many words today? Listen to the characters. You connect with flow and you write down everything that comes to mind.

If i were a character in my story, howw will i respond? How do i respond? You don't describe how...you illustrate. You show. You tell them the story or describe how the character will respond when you throw them out the deep end of the pool. You already knew that see?




Now get going with this. How much time before wife is ready? About five minutes. She usually leaves at around this time. Then let's get cracking with this. When is the next round? I don't think i'm doing much of anything soon. There is that meetup.

I am going to go. It don't matter how many are going. It's the quality of the interaction. Then i go. I want to see how it goes. It's the writing. Maybe it's too far north. Then we go that way. Wife is still getting ready for work. Let's see how it goes.




What do you write about? You know the writing process. It's about the relationships. It's not your job to present ideas. Your job is to write and influence thinking. That part i can do well. I also do research and that's where the content comes from. What if you do things that way. It don't have to be cartoon.

Reddit is a good source of stories. I can go there and see where that is going. You simply scroll right through it. I have four more and it's time to go. So be it. I can finish right here and now. It's almost there anyway. I may have a few paragraphs to go but it's all good here and now.




I tend to do that often. What happens next. I can make sardines for dinner. I like it that way. Not too soupy. But i like soupy. The kids don't. You cook for them now? I can make my own arrangements here. There's spam. I can make that today. Or not. There's so much opportunity at every moment.

How do you find the right one? Things have shifted. What how are you going to respond to this? You know the answer to that. Let it be so. Then i am just about done here. Daughter will check what her bank details are. I'm done with all that.

I'm done here.