i put expectations

The thing that I feared/anxious about turned out to be a blessing. The washing machine was acting weird for two months now. I knew it was going to break and got anxious about it.

Today I realized it’s been broken for about two weeks now. The soap wasn’t rinsing off and there was a ‘dirty’ smell to the clothes when I hang them. As I was rinsing the last batch, I realized it wouldn’t be too hard to wash them manually.

So I did. I put the next batch on the bath tub, filled it up with water an soap. It took me three cycles but it was clean and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It was a good workout thogh. I stomped on the clothes to get them cleanned. One side benefit is that it cleans my toe nails as well. I save on electricity, we don’t have to buy a new washing machine and I get more workout.

How long will it take to wash a batch of clothes? About thirty minutes. I can spare that from my work. I need time to digest what i’m about to write anyway. So be it. I won’t tell the wife though. i’ll tell her that I got things to work. She don’t wash them anyway. she’ll be surprised that electric bill is going down in the coming months.

What if she finds out? Then it’s time to get us a new machine. But she hardly uses them. She just dumps them in there. Unless she has time to clean the house and decides to wash some rugs. But she only does that once a year. Her vacation’s over so I guess I can make this work for at least three months.

let’s get to it. I have concerns coming up but those two are majors in the trading market. The pair is going to swing wide. Right now it’s in limbo. Had I kept the position, it would be in positive territory now. I know better this time. Let’s get going. I can explain to the wife what it is I am doing.

I am also getting gigs to work with. I do this and get to the other side. I will make that as part of the funds for vacation next christmas. let’s do that. it’s an intention, a path ahead. it’s frequency I can match. let’s get going then. First stop is to explain to the wife how things are going then. I will put in insurance money and will get that back in the coming days. I think we have more than enough in there. I have a pretty good pair to trade.

I finished the two copywriting gigs this weekend. I am relieved and surprised that I did. I was seriously considering cancelling the account just to get away from it. But I found something there. I was fighting myself rather than putting in the work. I know better next ttime. I am feeling better about my writing now.

Upwork seems to have dried up. At least I get gigs to ad to my portfolio. Local shops can find this when they do a search. Then they can look around and see what other work i’ve done. They have a way to get in touch. I can do that anyway. let’s see where this is going this year.

I am sure someone who needs help this way is going to find it. I match the frequency and will see the experience manifest. there’s going to be contrast. You already know that. You start with something. It don’t have to be god. it’s ok to be bad. You then keep polishing it up.

Taking short breaks help. Maybe I should write a book about this. I think my approach to writing is spot on. You don’t have to prove anything. They can prove so to themselves. it’s what interests me. I don’t have to go there. The kids have their own choices to make. You can be super in this but that’s going to make it hard for them to follow. But if you let them be their own light, then they will shine as well.

That settles it then. I can watch another episode shortly. I need to shower. My son knows how to cook. he’s good at it. He enjoys it. He knows what’s good and what’s not good. that’s something he will take as he matures. I enjoy hanging out with them. I get less sleep but it’s fun this way.

I keep putting more awareness into what I don’t want. Allow for it to be there but you can choose what you prefer. You can resonate with that. No need to remove or invalidate the other one. You have been moving forward with this anyway. Fibre broadband is pretty fast. You don’t notice it much but it’s part of what you do now. This is the reflection for you.

It was effortless wasn’t it? Now that you know, you can expand from here. Trust the timing. Everything is synchronicity. You get who you project yourself to be. No need to teach. Write what comes to mind. Right now there’s not much coming through. The next meetup for writers is next month. Then there is the hackathon. If they fall on that same weekend then I may have to choose.

Or I can skip the afternoon and proceed on to sunday. I can get it setup the server then take it from there. What if I don’t have to do anything. I can choose to do something else. That is an option. I will look into it. If the writer’s meetup looks promising, then I can expand on that. In the meantime, I am keeping my options open. You just write.

Write about what you are writing. I don’t create anything. It comes through me, I write it down. it’s that simple. I fell the barrel, stock the pond, digest compost everything. Take a nap, take a walk. Then I come back and simply take dictations. I write what comes to mind. I edit later.

The only times it gets hard is when I put expectations to it, or compare my first draft with others’ finished product. that’s not fair is it. Besides, they spent more time polishing it already. If you had the same resources you can do the same, or surely something uniquely different. I agree with that myself.

I keep this in mind when I start a copy assignment. What now? I put them on my portfolio. I can do so tomorrow. If not, I can do them tonigt if I feel like it. If not, go do something else. For now, this is where I am. I can take on a different project. it’s the research that’s interesting. I learn much through it so I can write about them.

Is there a limit to this? Only when I don’t want to write. Then I fight myself. I feel negative about this. To fix this, simply look to your portfolio. You will find things that can be improved on. When there’s no more of that, it tells you that the copy is as good as it can be.