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put this character

i had about twenty lines of morning pages earlier, pressed the wrong keyboard combination and lost everything. I'm starting over. This seems to be a theme every now and then. I'm sick and tired of this so i'm changing things up a bit.




How is this a story? You have a character in place. You put this character in precarious situations to show who this person is, what they are about. I need to look up that definition.

Precarious meaning it's not safe, unsecured. I now have a mental note of that. It's more like a feeling bookmarked in my consciousness. The next time i need it, i access how it felt and i get ideas through my imagination. I don't think it's about how much money you make but the enjoyment of it. Does it interest you? Is it exciting that you can't seem to have enough of it.




That's what aikido days was about. I practiced everyday, almost. I was also into aerobics and it was fun. I was broke but somehow i was supported. Right when i need it, i'd have something. I was able to live in alexandra. It was like living a dream. I had abundance but it came from someplace else.

I check out meanings of words and synonyms as this helps to build up my vocabulary. I don't intend to use heavy words in my writing though. I use words easily understood by tweeners. They are not my target audience but this helps the reader to move along. I may be repeating words but it's who i am.




Wife is busy cleaning up. I was there yesterday. I have nothing on my plate now so i can take it easy. She'll do some cleaning anyway. What's up next week? I schedule recycling. If it were not for the family, where would you live?

Browns bay sounds good. I need to wash daughter's stuffed toy. I'll do so tomorrow. These kids...see what she's done to the cat? She put the stuffed toy on top of smoky to show that it's hugging him. I don't think smoky minds. He just lay there basking in the sun and the hug from the teddy bear.




What happens today? I ask myself questions when i write to help me get moving to the next idea. When i ask, i get insights, answers. This came up after i asked the question. I am not doing any driving today. The side bags seem feel smaller today. It's the fifth day on keto. I feel better although there are temptations.

They are there to serve as contrast. You have feedback that it's not you anymore. You need to have them situations to show yourself "that's not me anymore." i turned off the auto-complete for quotes...why did she have to bring that up. She can do something about it anyway. I guess she had to let off steam in there.




I don't think she know how much work i did yestday. That's ok. She doesn't have to. I did it for myself. I do things for myself most of the time. I don't do so for others but every now and then, i get off my butt for them. Well, some of the time mostly when they ask. No videos. There's nothing good anymore. What happens when it's like that permanently?

Then you get good stories as bootleg. People write and people produce them as independent amateurs. You'll find a good one every now and then because the big shops don't have them anymore. I just learned that amazon opened a brick and mortar bookstore in new york. The neighbors downstairs are cleaning up. They are moving.




Again. What happens now? You allow for that to be there. It used to be alright. I guess things are shifting again in my universe. It's always like this anyway. Let it go. Allow for it to be there. No need to fight it but see how you respond to it. You change from the inside.

It's resonance and reflection. That's what my universe is about. I get this part. It's the local self that has expectations. Now that it's in the light, i can let go. Or not put too much into it. How to go from here? Just use up the energy. Put a positive response to it. That's why it's here. This gives you feedback to "how are things going?"




this way you'll know and see that you are now the person you prefer to be. It's in the inside. How is it like to be a best-selling author? That's interesting. I'd be checking the stats at least once aday. I'll be putting in more time to research and filling the pond. I'd get more experience related to the story i'm writing.

I'd do more writing. I am more trusting of the process this way. How do you respond to these things? I see what you mean. These things get in there not to block you but to point in a different direction. And i go there. I take that path and see how it's connected. And i get insights from it.




This guy had carpal tunnel on his wrist. I guess that's how it is with them. If they are not interested then i won't make an effort to connect. I am moving forward here. There's not much difference there anyway. I get to write what i want and see how things are going. I can do this then.

Do i have to write more? I am halfway through. Unless i'll be adding more lines to morning pages, i am going to finish soon enough around here. So what happens next? Do i have to get that email? I don't think so. I have issues here i see that. I am processing them and i'm done with programming.




It's not that i am not using anymore. I feel that i have different interests now. Maybe programming will come in with the writing. It was a part of the process. And then what happens? I'm not sure. Just use it when the need arises. In the meantime, finish. That's what's important here.

How do you finish? Create scenes, write out dialogues. That's the next step. You write the draft. It doesn't have to be awesome. You can improve on it over time. But when you sit down to write you put it out there edit later. That's my process at least. At times the writing comes easy. Most of the time, there's a lot coming through that you can't afford to edit.




I get this now. How long did it take for you to get here? After i did more copywriting. But it's a negative experience. It's not me. Writing fiction feels more at home for me. There's me being negative so i write it down. I don't have to get off my butt for her. I've done things already.

This is what i do when she's home. It's better if they went to church. I know. Then i can do something else. Like what? I'm not sure yet. Daughter is stepping up responsibility in her work. That's good. She's more independent. That's the point of it all. I guess i get sensitive about the shift in energy.




Let it be there. It's here for you. There's a reason for it. I am aware of that. Sometimes i forget. The feeling reminds me. I look into my source code for alignment. Then i can move on. What happens now? I am hungry. I can have another cup of coffee. That sounds good. Is that better though?

Wife comes home late tonight. I don't know if she'll talk to her sister or mom today. Take it easy there. I do things when i do things. This is more important for me so i spend time and awareness on it. I can choose to let go...or not. Otherwise it's all part of it. I have two meetups this week.




One is for shopify. It's about online sales. The other one is for writing. I look forward to the one in the weekend. It happens in the morning. I think there are seven members. You only need one or two to form an inner circle. Let's get there and see how it goes. Any expectations?

Yes. Be open to synchronicity. That's what keeps it dynamic and vibrant. That's what makes it exciting. It's more fluid that way. That's how i want it.

Done.