it's behind you

i can write to that. What would you do in such a house? Write. Explore everyday. This is beside a beach as i see sand. It must be cold because they have plenty of firewood. What would be your cash flow there? The bot.

That sounds like a good path. How do you get there? Be in the moment. A bike would be good. Something with a trailer or one of those amsterdam cart bikes. I can use that. Should i use a car? Perhaps. Or not. I can do everything on bike. Electricity? Probably. Or a generator if need be but that is too much noise.

I would work on free energy. I can research that and go there. That is going to be interesting. When do you go there? I'll be in that frequency then find myself shifting into that. Man, i have some cool images on this machine. They alternate every five minutes. It puts me on the spot. All i do is match them frequency.

What if i don't write? That's fine. You then are a writer not writing. Why is that taking up cpu time? Maybe it's too big? The other one doesn't seem to do so. Does that mean i should use that? It looks like it. I may have to switch out of that then. No need to run that much as this one doesn't show in my conky.

I am observing it and it really is less of a load. I'll make changes then. This lady here is so cute. She is adorable. Who is loving her? I don't know. How did they come up with such a design? They have people doing that fulltime. Can you watch the series? It's all about a pretty girl. How did that happen there? I don't know. You can test it.

What's the story there? What if you two were in love? That's too heavy a word. What if there was deep connection there worth exploring? That sounds more positive. How will that be then? You can choose to go there much. Or not. Everything is possible anyway. You can go this way or that. The market is open. I can look up what's happening.

I slept late. I go to city tomorrow morning. I file for passports. Wife is going to go that way. I have bot running on tests. This is something i should have done sooner. But if i am not ready then i should have waited. This is the most perfect time in history. Let's get going and see where this is going.

Price seems to be consolidating atm. I can install hte thing in here just to watch the market. Or do something else altogether. I can talk to an investor about it. It's like breaking bad but trading and bot dev. That sounds like an interesting path. You can run several of these and make good off the path. Let's go deep dive into it and see how it goes.

Typically it's one way unless the market decides to go sideways. The trades pile up but you can do a lot of other things as well. Can i look into it? I think you can. Let's see how things go from there then. You have some good iterations. Find what's connected or not. I take a nap again at eleven.

This is my journey now. How does it serve you? I can go for a walk later this afternoon. This is what's happening here. Or i can go out for a run now and do yoga later. I can do that as well. I did not feel like running as there was no sun. Is it time for rains again? One daughter is working later after school. That's something i never had.

It's good that she is doing this and it'll add up for the future. I don't know where mine is going but i am open to synchronicity. There are expectations. When i am aware, i simply let go, or use that to look at my source code. I don't even have to get a job there. I am fully supported where i am.

The cat had its food and now went out again. There's that creaking noise and it's in my consciousness. It's all energy. Local mind can't grasp on it but i can explore given that i am aware of my connection to all that is. I am an eternal being. Anyway. I get scared but it's because i have definitions that say i am less. Am i really?

My local mind is limited to this scope but if you were to find a person, you won't feel that removed. This is explorations for you. I can do yoga after i finish these. The neighbors are there. I felt someone downstairs. It's quiet now. Maybe the wife stays at home?

The hockey game yesterday was interesting. These two are hot. I can explore the picture. Who are they. What are they doing there. That's a nice tan. Is it? Or is it photoshopped? Probably. Somewhat yes. Those are nice lingerie. What are they doing? Are they students? Do they work? Is that their work. Maybe they are models.

I think they are models. At some point you run ouot of ideas but you just keep on writing. What's for lunch? I can make eggs and burger. I have that vinegar in the waiting. I can add ketchup but there's no more. I used it for the baked mac which they didn't finish anayway. I'll make spaghetti instead. That way, i get to eat the meat sauce if they don't want it.

They have it once but never bother with the leftover. The two eldest eat the leftovers when they like it. If not, it's just me having them. I can make rice for tonight. I'll get mixed nuts later at the grocery. Can i get yogurt? It's out of my league that way but i can try the richer protein yogurt.

Or not. What happened last time? I finished it. I think it's low in carbs. That's what i do now. It feels better this way and this is day two. I eat far less this time. That's what it's about. Less volume and keto. This puts me in the loop. I need to change those as well. This terminal doesn't show up in cpu usage.

Is that good or bad? It's not doing much anyway. I can get used to this. Maybe it's the vim thing. How much does it use. Four percent. I don't think it shows there. I'm back and testing this. It's the same. It shows terminator and vim altogether. It's not worth it that way.

I'm going to stick with this one. At least i got to test them. How what gets out the other end? I don't know. At least it's here. I feel like mike dropped me out from his contacts list. Should i even ask why? I don't know. Maybe he wants to help me get back on my feet this way. What can i do about it? Talk to people about it.

Or do something else that's connected. But let go of expectations. It's behind you now. The energy has shifted. You can choose to respond differently. What is going to happen now? I guess we're not going to see each other anymore. Or not. I guess it's time to move on then.

I see. My part in that role is finished. Let's get moving. What's next? Explore the world. Get out there. You'll bring to you what's relevant. If it's connected, it's going to be there in abundance. You will have much of it as much as you need it to be there.

You can have all of that when you need it. You'll bring it to yourself. Guaranteed it is. Trust the timing. It's all good. Everything is here and now. You know hthat. You can setup dialogues this way. Just add quote marks here and there and it'll read like conversations.

Do a mind dump then edit later to make things work. Now is the time? It's always a good time to start. This is page one then. I can make changes later on. In the meantime, only do this. I can use that pc when i finish yoga. This way i don't have two running at the same time.

Do i have my stuff in there? I think so. Then you can do a lot more when you move over to that side. But i have terminator up and running now. I like it. Then use it much. You can make changes later if it's relevant. If not, get on with your day. This is why i use this laptop.

It's the cool images. There's someone downstairs. I saw two people so is the guy working from home? It looks like it. Am i a terrible person choosing this path? I can fail at something i don't like why not go do what you like instead. If it were my turn, there'd be no questions asked.

What would it be like then?

just make this

what you'll get here are dialgouse telling the story, moving the idea forward. This is timed writing so i don't have to note the number of lines that i write.

I get off at four thirty, she said.

What'd you say? She was mumbling again. I'd usually get upset but what's the point. She doesn't want to change it. I wonder what she gets out of it? I've already pointed it out to her. People are going to stop taking her seriously when she mumbles.

Sure you seem like a good person simply because you don't go after what you want. You are a passive aggressive. It's nice that way but in a long term relationship, this eats away at the foundations.

It was cold in bed this morning. I was under the blanket and still felt cold. She was pulling more of the blanket to her as i was doing the same thing. How do you write dialogues here. Plenty on my plate for today. Son needs to go to his sleepover then i go pick him up tomorrow.

Maybe the wife can do the pickup. Can you go pick him up tomorrow sometime around three? You don't have to but then i'll have to pick you up at one am when i've already been up since three in the morning.

Ok. I'll get him before i go to work.

Is this working? It's always difficult in the beginnnig. The dream felt aligned for me. It was a definiton i can use moving forward. It showed a situation growing up. I was looking at things from a negative point of view.

Now that i'm aware of it, i can make changes if i chose to. Do you want to? Of course. This is who i am. I can listen to music but or i don't have to do anything. I can change things up a bit later. I can write in dialgouse later or finish this one now.

Tomorrow there's going to be just one daughter and she keeps to her room. One kid is at sleepover, two are at work. What happens tomorrow. I may not have to make lunch but i'll make that chicken soup. I know how to make it that way. Let's do that? Not really. I can choose not to.

Thin this is timed writing. How far can you go when it's timed? I've never considered that but i used to do number of pages. I don't give a damn there. Just continue writing. It's me that get into trouble here anyway so i don't have to go that way.

What happens next? This is somewhat eleven minutes to go and i am halfway through. Is she going to reply here? I don't have to go there. It's a choice anyway. Or not. I don't have to buckle down at this. It's here anyway. Use up the energy and you'll see how it goes.

What goes on? I don't know. What's the point of all that anyway? I don't get it. It is what it is. You don't have to understand. Just know that if it's important for them then it is. The point of view is different.

I guess i don't have to use a timer. Just keep writing to that point. You have more than enough resource here to make tha t work. Is that a good movie? It's low on the list. I don't have to see that. At least netflix is still showing good stuff.

But are there good shows now? I can go check it out. This is just me talking. It's not a dialogue. What happens next? I'm not sure. What's the point of all that. I don't know. You can see what's happening here. That show is at season ten.

Time flies fast that way. She's not replying just yet. What can i do here? She can follow up. But she's not connected. How do you do things differently? I don't know. I don't have to go there myself. I am stuck in here in between these two rocks. I don't have to invalidate things.

Then continue writing. There are new neighbors downstairs. Who are they. What do they do. They left early on a saturday. Am i going far this way? Just finish. This is what i do now. I can choose that but i have enough resources in the ref. I can make an aligned choice.

What do we do in here? Keep writing. It doesn't have to be grand. Just make this work out. Where's the dialogue. I think the module from last night was good and most were info i didn't know. They don't have much in programming language.

It's more systems and networks. Then you know where to look. This is going to be shorter than usual. Finish up. Keep writing. Finish it anyway. That's what i do now. And what else is here? I don't know. But is this here.

Are you not supposed to do the vacuum as well. Isn't that part of your chore? You can do that while waiting. Or not. But it's part of the chores. You can go there if you have to. If she is waiting then we can finish that as well.

I don't have to go that way. I have a choice here. Does it matter? Why am i responding this way that i don't care? It's not about being or having a clean room but what you get out of it.

This is shorter so i guess i can keep to the fifty line mark. I had one minute left when i started this line. I turned off the timer though. I don't think i want the cognitive focus drain when the timer goes off.

This is done.

see what comes

morning pages and it's raining outside. I run after i finish these, or do yoga first? I can do yoga, then run later. It don't matter which way but it's best to do the cardio first so i don't have to put on the heater.

But it doesn't really matter. I'll do yoga then. It's cold anyways and i don't want to have to put on them long pants. Or walk later run tomorrow. This way i give my feet time to rest. Then i go walk later in the afternoon then. It don't matter much. Let me put on the heater then.

Desktop don't work. It could be that video card. I can remove that as it stops post. I'll test that after i finish. I am going into hardware although not manufacturing but making things work as it is. Am i looking for work still? No. I write. I sell what i write so there's an audience for these out there. I just need to make the writing work habit in place.

How do you do that? I do it everyday. When i have enough time in between, then i do an hour of writing--two pomodoros. Then i take a break. I'm thinking i'll do four of these throughout the day just to get the habit started. Then i do yoga. It's raining so i'm not keen on running right now.

It's better if i run at noon even if it rains. Again, i can take a walk later in the afternoon. The cat is sleeping in the room. I made burger sandwich and the kids didn't have that. I can have lunch when i finish yoga? I think so. We do grocery later. Does that mean i run today? Not necessarily.

If it's about building up self-esteem, what's it about then? Are those three going this year? She's keen about it but we'll see. I think she is going to put them in her credit card. I don't think that's a good decision. But she won't listen to me so i can't help her in that aspect.

What can i do about it? This is here for a reason. Let's see where this is headed. If not. I can silpy let it go and she what she does with it. If she has a hard time finding funds for her plans, i don't think the next batch is going to have it easy. I see where this is going then.

But she is not going to tell me about it. And also she has plans to look for work elsewhere. I don't think she has thought this through. But that's her life. I gave up on planning a long time ago. It's like sales managers who predict better sales then wonder where how they are going to get it pushing everyone out.

But that's their life. I don't have to go there. It's in the past. You know see what happened there. They got stuck. They are not there. But where are you now? You too are part of this circle. When you don't see success, check your definitions. Maybe you have expectations that are too out there.

I can take a nap later? I think so. What time? I got up around seven thirty. I can sleep at around two is good enough. The kids have hockey so i can slee pthrough four or so. Let's see how that feels later on. Best case scenario i run. Easy does it i go for a walk later then run tomorrow.

That's already been decided. Do what you do now. I write. I do yoga then i do another session. It don't matter what you write about really but you can do this. Why not write about just about anything. Write what you want to learn. Write what you intend to learn. Then you line up with the energy. That will get you going.

It's starting to get warm. I wonder what puts it in the light? Is it theta frequency? I can test that but it has to be ongoing. The itchies came back last night. What triggers them? It's probably not the coffee combo as i have them during the day. It must be the bed sheet? I can wash that today.

There be clothes that need hanging later. I don't think we have people moving soon as no one is looking through it. I guess we can move around later on. In the meantime we might be here another four years. So be it then. I will have been wildly successful as an author then.

How do you get there? How does that feel? You have projects going on regularly. You are supported. Can you see that? You already know that. How to expand on this? Keep the habit going. That's what you do. It's the habit. When you have writer-publisher habits then you are that frequency. It's that simple. Habits also lead to the lifestyl.e

but you gotta drop the expectations. Don't expect to see one to one. Just get to the other side and see where it's going. I wondre if they ever got that website up and running. I don't think they were keen about that one. But i don't have to go there. I doubt if they were able to make that work. Or not. The next one is in september.

Then we can move on ahead with this one. Let's see how it's going then. Maybe they are too busy with other things. So be it. I am quite pleased with the way things are. Why are they having a hard time getting volunteers there? Maybe it's the network? I don't know.

I can look into that or not. But it's all connected this way. They should look at people looking to get work? I think so. Even so, there be less that go to these meetups. What can we do about it? I don't know. Some meetups don't last very long. Is there one coming up?

It's in the city. Plus it's a bar. I don't think we can find someone who actively trades in there. And what happened to that guy? He gave up. If they were making good off that, he'd be wildly successful by now. How can you deal with that then? I have a template. It needs funding though. I'm headed in that direction now.

How do you know this one will work? No expectations. Only do this get to the other side. Maybe i can get something like that going/ it's that expectation to send that over that keeps me out? I think so. What can i use this then? You do what interests you. If not, let it go. It's that simple.

I have stuff in my todo list. Let's get this going and see what comes out the other side. Am i slouching? It felt like it. Get it staright and you gan do a lot of things. That won't make you feel good today. What can make you feel better? Adding to the bucket.

I think so too. Put off these thoughts for one hourn then see how it goes. You don't have to dwell on them. Sometimes it's the delay that works. Let's find something else then. Yoga and stuff is next. Also fixing these hardware. Do you need that now? Not really. I only do one hour of this everyday.

The intention is to make it a habit. Once you have it in place, your day won't be complete until you do them. That's hot. Who is that? This is why i use the bigger monitor. No devs anymore. I'm done with that. Am i still going to the hackathon? I think so. You can just put them down as charity work then.

Let's see what happens to that. It's the saturday afternoons that make it feel drab. I can get that working as well. You can setup the mail and server issues. Let's do that next time. I can work with that group there and see how it goes. I can ask questions. Most of the time, these folks don't know much. They use windows.

That drives them crazy as most web servers run better on linux. Can i try centos? I can but it's a bit different but the principles are the same. Let's cross that bridge when we get there. Right now i don't have a server myself but i can have this. I can setup something local.

Is that even necessary? I can have that running all the time together with the media server. Do you need a gui for that? Not really. But yeah, i think you do if you run plex. Why not create one yourself? It is possible. You have a server in here anyway. You give it that then run it through browser.

I think that's possible. You only need the url for yourself. Then you connect via the browser then expand on it.

are they relevant?

everyone is sleeping. The time is one-thirty-eight am. I couldn't sleep. I got up to write, or do something. I'm driving daughter to work in about an hour. The cat's outside but i don't feel like getting up now. He should have come in earlier. I've started writing.

Is this morning pages? I guess so. I have hives but it's mild this time. It could be the walnuts or the decaf. If it's the former, i'm thinking it should be out of my system now so it's likely for now that this is decaf. I didn't have them today. I'll see if it clears up. I did not have the itch throughout the day after i woke up.

Could it be the bed or that blanket? Maybe. This thing started after i switched to that one. Maybe it needs a wash? The last time it was out was after camping. I'll put that in the tub tomorrow and use the other one instead. We'll see what happens. If so, then i can go back to using decaf?

It might take a week of testing. I'll see what i can do. Things are shifting. If this is the mid-life crisis they talk about then i'm probably going through it for the last ten years now. Or this is something else. My path and process is way different than anyone else's. That mid-life crisis thing might not apply to me in the practical sense.

Or whatever that means. While others are looking forward to retirement, i am building up my business. Monday is the start of a new term. I start with a hundred days after dinner. I would rather count this way. It's not exactly this or that. It's the same one thing anyway.

What else can i do here? I have an hour to go to drive daughter to work and then go to bed when i get back. I can sleep through til lunch. I don't know if wife is taking the kids to church tomorrow. Second daugther is not going to work anyway. Am i putting in enough effort into job hunting? I don't know. I'm not into it. Let's say i'm not doing it. I do it for show. I am more focused on writing my novel.

The energy is always shifting. That's good. Even if it looks the same, look closely and you'll see a small difference here and there. I can do grocery differently this time. I think wife is going to make lunch tomorrow. What's up tomorrow? I don't know yet. She goes to work tomorrow. She comes home late. I don't think daughter is going to work on monday morning as school starts then.

That was a tough two weeks. I know. How do you get back to normal? I think she goes to work on weekneds. I guess i'll adapt to that. In the meantime, do your best. Get in your light. No expectations. These are the things that line up for my self. What else can we do here? Wife bought that laptop anyways. That's her path.

The other one still works. I guess it wasn't really the keyboard. Or not. I don't know. What happened with this new acer? I will look into it but it doesn't even do post. It could be a fried motherboard. Daughter said the thing was overheating the last time she used it. Too bad. I'm not getting that brand anymore. One down.

What else to write about? There's plenty on the subscription. I can't find how to unsub from any board. It's not user friendly that way. I can make changes to my energy. This is the path i'm in. When i am aware, i have access to everything. When i'm in the past or the future, i am helpless. Now you know how to make it work?

I think so. Be in the moment. No expectations. That's all there is to it. What am i getting out of this? I don't know. Only that this is pointing downstream for me. No expectations and things will work out for you. Let's see how this works then. What's next? Finish writing. This i do everyday. Then i'll create scenes and add them to plots. This is how you do it.

When you have the draft manuscript, then you can polish it by adding influence factors or hooks. That makes it better then. You can zip through the book's timeline to make things work. I think i can do that now. It's the same anyway. You can see how this works. I will am doing something about it. It's all part of the process.

This is all connected for me. Even morning pages is connected to my novel. Back then, i wasn't sure i'd be able to start on this project. Now i am in the process itself. Let's see how it goes then. I've been here before. Not the exact path, but the energy. It's familiar and yet so different. This is how the energy is then.

You have both reflection and contrast. It's one and the same but from different point of view? Somewhat like it. I don't have to define that now. I only write. I see urban environment at night. Is it raining there? It could be. No characters zoomed in yet. Maybe this will go or not. It don't matter. Do i listen to music? Only if it feels good about it.

The energy invites me to japan. Also there are different parts of the world. It's all in your energy. You can explore that when it's here. What are you to do about it? I don't know yet. You can shift this way and that. Where would you like to take this? Is it part of that? I don't think it'll go anywhere other than to play with data.

It gets boring as i'm not really creating anything that way. I would rather do something else. But it is a path. I'm not invalidating it. It's just not what i prefer. What is it then? Something with travel. It has to do with food, cooking and all that. It has to do with enjoying the moment here and now.

I don't know if there's a job that pays that regularly other than being an artist. So this is what we do. Why not use their idea and develop that into a direction you can use. Maybe some perspective not covered or addressed in the movie. Maybe it was too out of the center to get attention.

What issue would be center then? Being a super when no one needs it? Right here and now, do you need a super? If you were a super you'd be travelling to different parts of the world. By the time you get there, it might be too late. That might affect some people. Or not.

What's it going to be like then? Say, a tsunami in japan. Soon as you hear the news, it doesn't take time to fold space and go there. But who do you save first? The one closest to you or the one deeper in danger. Are you interfering with process? That's a big one. Maybe this is why there be no more supers.

Maybe when it's relevant for them you are allowed to get in. Why not be a fireman or police? Or maybe someone who works behind the scenes? Right here and now, can you be of help to anyone? I don't know. Maybe so. Can i help myself? I already am. It is being in the light. Then the light will serve as beacon for them to see. Maybe that's how you can help.

Why am i exploring this idea then? I was thinking about supers. Are they relevant to this day and time. Maybe in a parallel world, they are relevant. There are several of them, like one in every city. That's a lot of supers. What about the antagonists? That too is a question. Who would they be?

Maybe they are here now. How would they hehave? They'd be selfish. They'd have powers but it's used for negative reasons somewhat. Would you allow leaders to get away with that? Probably not. What if you were to bring heat to that chair? Then you have the armed forces up your ass. How would that be? What's the story there?

Then they'd hire other supers to provide security and to hunt down those against. That's an angle there. How do they do that? There's technology. There's work for the supres. They form a team to hunt down the versus. What woulid it be like? There's a story there. I don't know how that will end. But if you were super, compensation will not mean anything.

You'll do, rather your motivation goes deep and for a higher purpose. Then it's all about perspective. So both sides are neither good or bad. It's just that they see the world differently. How then will you bring balance to the force? It goes from left to right and it's the synchronicity and teh universe that's going to bring balance.

How? It comes with its own reflection and contrast. If you do something, then you get something back. You go negative someone will put in a positive and bring it back to center. Then the people without supers are the pawns in this game? How are they here then.

That is interesting.