what was good today. Added to self-esteem, did good work today. Took it as far as it will go. Also writing now.
I cannot control the outside, but i can choose how to respond to it. I choose that it is all positive anyway. This one is out of my control. No need for blame. When this comes up, i put it in my awareness. No need to make sense out of it. This is just so.
I continue on apply for work. One option is this to continue on with this. Just do this get to teh other side. I use up the energy. What are my options. I am sleepy but the dog is on the couch.
He's waiting for someone to take him out. In that aspect, he cant control, but he, dogs in general, are have unconditional love--pretty much for all and all beings. That's what i learned from them.
So i keep to this frequency. I pay attention to the inside. Just do this. Get to the other side in this regard. Trust that this is all connected on here. No tennis tonight. Washed out. I think it is going to rain all week. So be it. Let's see how wednesday turns out.
What to do today. I send in applications see what you get out of it. I do walls. I do learn one thing about aws cloud compute. I write. I did not fast as it is monday. I can resume tomorrow until friday.
This is how i used to fast. So be it. But hten again wed is grocery day. We'll see how it goes. I dont go there as much. I can play tennis go there and see what comes out of it. I think this is what's relevant for me. I have much resistance in me.
How to change that one thing. I'm not really sure. Just put it in my awareness for now. I dont have to take action all the time. Some times, just having it in my awareness changes a lot of things. This is the process for me. Then i continue on this path.
I lears how to maake videos like that. It is interesting. I can simply make a checklist and make sure i have them on my edit list...or shot list if you can call it that. I am getting a headache.
Too early to practice. I can take a nap then go later. Where to take a nap if he's there. I'm not sure. I'll decide when i go there. For now, only do this. Get to the other side and see what i can do on here. No need to rush things. No need to invalidate.
It is just so. Finish these then continue on with my day. I finished that. There wasnt much anxiety. I woke up earlier but learned to meditate on that. And then i fell asleep. I may have to go to bed earier than usual. These are fun matches.
I have fun myself when playing. That's the point. It's not about winning much. It's about team play and enjoying yourself. Also get better at these things. That's what i do here and now. I continue on with this.
It doesnt have to be fancy. I am sleepy in this way. Why would you get that coaching. I'm not at that level just yet. Observe. Learn. Work with what you have. I have much. I practice that--123 low to high.
No insistence on the outcome. That's the point from here on. If it goes in well and good. If not, i put it in form. Just do this then. This is what comes of it now. I can work with this. I have this much. Even if i were to go back to that, so be it.
So much on that and i have this in place. I can change things out later. For now, it is only this. I guess they do that but i have loyalty to self in this way. Trust that this is connected. And i can go this way or that. It is in the middle gray area.
And i can work with that. You get how this is. I be in there trust this make changes when it comes to place. I wonder what the house-hold is like in there. You have much and you can get this sorted. In my own way and look how this works out.
