my shawshank redemption

 i am so hurt, disapponited. I dont know what works anymore. Surrender i have. I do the instruction manual, but look where this led to.

Maybe take time out, or quit the game altogether. Zoom out and see... I dont even wantto entertain that option look down that path. But it's the easy way. This points downstream. I dont care what others think. Not everyone knows see that it isnt weakness. 

Neither is it strength. The true power is in seeing this through, curious as tohow this will turn out. Maybe leave the boat. It looks interesting on there. I dont have to worry about pleasing her. No need for that. Simply move on.

I am entertaining this thought more and more. I cant even talk to her about it. She thinks it's not there enough. I am hurt. Do i even head out. I commited to this and it disappoints. 

Man. What's the point here. Move on to the next. You've experienced this anyway. Why not continue on. Because this leaves a mark on everyone. They will see that it is the easy way out. Why not simply disappear and not be found. This way it's an open ended question. But where would you go not found.

Deep. The ocean will clean up whatever's there anyway. Simply head out there and shut it down. Why am i entertaining these thoughts. Because this is what's relevant for me. 

Use up the energy. She's not my therapist. It wouldnt help talking to her. It's expensive and then the other end doesnt keep up. This system is all messed up. How do you even make changes to this. I lived in that frequency. Look at my reflection now. 

Am i missing something here. I am rejecting this. I am not. It'snot what i prefer. Then shift into one that you prefer. Leave it be. Act on the opportunity. Leave then. It doesnt work for you. You've known this all along.

She is weighing you down. Open up to the opportunity. You cant stay here forever. How then. Build up to one year then go. I go on july next year. I dont even have to talk about this. Just go. 

It's like that time in your life. This weighs me down. It put on a lot of weight on there. The kids will understand why i quit on this. It doesnt work out. It's caused so much already. The cost i paid was dear. 

Did i get something out of it. I can go to that beach and live the rest of my life on there. Run a small business on there. Grow the channel. Move on. It's bitter but you'll get through this. 

That's the path then. I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel. You have all these opportunities at your disposal. Expand in one that looks like joy. You still on the instruction manual. This works. Trust the synchronicity.

You have everything that you need. It doesnt work but you get it. Youcant just jump off the cliff. That puts you in negative. Build into this, gain momentum by going in this direction. You will find your reflection you prefer.

This is what it's here for. You know get what all this is about. It's ...why am i here anyway. Is this what's relevant? In what way. This so you have kids. But i could have focused on something else. 

Trust me, this is what's relevant for you. You chosethis path because it reveals so much about the path about you. You have unfold in this. Trust the timing. You picked up a lot from here. 

He wants to go out. Now you know. It's not even about me anymore. There's nothing to talk about. It's all about her. That's whythe story was about a dead-end marriage. That's what resonates with me about the story. He did find joy through adversity. That's what yours is about.

present future with her

 i like dev work, but it's too tight out there. But still look into it. Keep at it. You have enough background on this. I spent time with it got nowhere near good enough.

Maybe it was different then. I see. Things are different now. That was a harami return. You go short this time. How do you get more into this equation. Maybe i can do the more popular ones, but then again, you see where this is headed.

It's a business then. I get better response on that. I have runs to cover day to days anyway. I get one up and running, it continues on for some time. I think the title is relevant enough when searched. I can work with this. It can be tightened up a bit, but i dont see how atm. 

She gets up at eight. I can go back to bed later, but not right now. It's raining outside. The weather clears up after lunch. I heads out then. In the meantime, only do this. She heads out later tomorrow. They start working again there. 

What can i do on here. Do a business. You know how. I go on this mode anyway. Let's see what you get out of this. Or not. Just do this. Be open to synchronicity though. It's how you connect. The earbuds are recharging with the phone. I used this one extensively yesterday. 

The other one has super batteries on it. They last throughout the session. It goes into that. Plenty of work but i have flexible time. I stick with this for now. I can use a second app or something.

Or not. Trust the timing on this one. Its all connected this way. You know what all this is about. It's time for that you get back continue on. Is it about coaching in that way. How to come across and get this sorted. Do you need something on there.

I think we can work with this find my way around this loop. You can work with them publishers and see what comes out of it. You get what needs sorting here. It doesnt have to be a genius on that regard.

Or you can simply let go trust creation to lead and reflect what is relevant for you. I get that. I would rather have flexibility scale and leverage. I have that. I see it in there. No wonder i was antsy about these things. 

It's in hindsight. It's in the past. Things are different now. Let's move on. No need to doubt. Just be the best friend with benefits and you get to the other side on this. She has work. She has family. I dont think she'll have time for anything else.

But she did. And you covered for it. Now you know. That's why things were tight. Now you see. It's time to move on. That's all in hindsight anyway. Weather clears up soon. I be doing this instead. I can sell a course on that but you provide the information.

I think the plan was in there. I need to update the channel. I can connect a mic through usb. You only need a speaker system for that. But that could get expensive. The sound though is amazing. It goes in the back.

I can look something up. I go into that after this. How else you connect. Bluetooth to the speakers. Ok. That works. It's a bulky solution but it seems to work out. Why not connect mic with usb.

It needs a mixer. Sound source is one channel. It needs to be mixed in to make that work. I think the car is nice, but you can have something else as well. You can do a date night on there. Or sometihng else.

That was plenty on there. You get thatit works the same. It's that look. Now it's different. Why did she not leave then. I dont know. But that's how she thinks. I dont have to get answers to that. You get that it is a different perspective. 

Now you see. It seems ok when i write it out. I see the forest from the trees. You get what all this is about. Now you can move on. This path here with her is moving on. It's not the same river twice. I have second page in the morning. I can do one more?

publish video today

 i didnt feel like going today. Son quit his job. He didnt resonate with his boss. I guess this is a pattern? He lasted this long. It's this. Mental health issues. I guess i am part of the load? Not quite so. I am part of the solution here.

Moving on. This is part of the echo. It's not the same river twice. I write. I did not write earlier? I did. Does she have a good read on me. I guess so. But this is part of the process. I've made way much progress. The perspective is not the same. 

I do this see how things work out. I heads out tomorrow. I'm not that same person anymore. Trust the timing on this one. You get where this is headed. At least i get to work out and i am in this space. I fasted. 

The video is rendering. Let's see how this prints out. I be removing the sound clips all in one go so i render now. Do i have to do the same much later? I think so. Trust the timing on this one. I can go this way or that. In the meantime, this is what's relevant for me.

What comes next. You have all this in place. You simply head out and get to the other side. It can, but i dont have to be transfixed on that. It happened in the past. You are different now. I got something out of it anyway. I had fun last night and can do the same next week, or every two weeks or so. 

Once a month is good, maybe every three weeks or so. It's fun on that side. Maybe each time we head out like that. For now, you get what needs to be done here. Get to the other side on this. You know what it is you are doing.

I made three achievements this year. That's a lot. Not everyone can do that. I guess this is my synchronicity. My process path is different. Everyone else is different in this way. No need to compare. Just get to the other side. Use up the energy. Do your best.

This is what i do each time. I am working on this video. I simply get to the other side in this way. You can work something out, or do something else in the process. I simply publish a video. This one scales up and i have much leverage. It trickles in, but soon as you have something going, it scales up with leverage.

That's the point to this. If you get a job, it doesnt and three years unto this you wouldnt be much on the scale. I would rather build on this. On the three year mark, i'd have much subs anyway and it can go different ways. No assumptions and insistence on the outcome.

Simply head out in this direction and you have synchronicity working for you, with you. That's the lesson, what i got from the experience. Curious as to how this will turn out. This is what i'm doing now. I continue on. I trust the timing. It's all connected anyway.

What are my options now. Simply do this. I have others on my todo list. She heads out for tennis. I dont do much anyway. Simply do this. I'm not really doing much of anything anyway. I can sit in the warm room. That's two hours of tennis. I think i can stay home instead.

It's the grind for me. This is what i do. I get a bite and i can explore in that direction. Or not. But you get how it all works out. I finish these and see how it works out. Trust the timing. I can do this get to the other side.

You have all this in place. You get to see how things work out. I have this and it is self-evident that the reflection is there anyway. I can go out and this is what i do. I can do this and go. Is it relevant in this way. 

I can build up on the portfolio and connect. Or not. You get the idea. It is all part of he process anyway. It is interesting. You get to unfold and see how this resonates with you. Or not. You get the point. 

It's the local touch they resonate not sure how to write this one out. Maybe he can learn develop a skill and continue on from there. It's not that difficult. You simply get to the other side each time. I can do this or that. 

It is the image on there. You see how what comes out of this. It is an example and you are in the pilot seat. You are doing this anyway. It's tough on her but you gotta let go and trust the synchronicity in this way. At least i'm not a burden and help out.

way more synchronicity

 the fact was that she chose to trust someone else, and got hurt by it. That didnt work out even after all those years. How do you know that. She stayed. What else is there. Something wrong there with the way she thinks...or that it doesnt make sense in that way.

What do i get out of this. I the ego self wants to control this. There is insistence. I get that. It gets me riled up. I see that. I have awareness in this. We head home today. Things go back to normal. Pulled muscle doesnt hurt as much. I can go back to work now.

Tennis doesnt happen for about a month. Not just yet. I dont feel like going into that room. What do i get out of it. There is no extension. There is not wanting to improve on this. 

I got way much more out of this, but at what price. I chose to see that price. It could be something else. A process to go through to learn expand on the synchronicity. It doesnt have to be about her. As you saw, this is all about you anyway.

It's done and over with. It's just you wanting choosing to go into that. If she goes there, we dont have anything to talk about anymore. I simply move on to the next. Now you see this in place. Simply get going here see what you get out of it.

I can go, take it easy do rallies. That works out. I dont have to chase down balls, but it's there that way. You get how this works. Simply do this. We head home today. Isee that and see what happened. It was an active choice. 

There are gaps in this though. I am finding this in place. She isnt honest with her self. I get that. Now she still doestn listen. I get that too. She wants to go through that process. 

Ok. Simply move on with this. She'll get scammed in the process. So be it. I dont have to be inthere. I am not taking an active participation to it, but you see where this is going. Her mess is my mess. Why am i going thisway. Because it is a relationship.

She's the one who gave up on me. Why should i do all the effort. I dont have to. I choose to. That's what is different about all this. My stuff are all over the place. She dont get up until two hours later. We need to get water.

There be a coles or woolies somewhere around here. Simply go then get going already. We take the motor way. We do that. It's sad we had to go through that. But that is insistence. I am invalidating it.

That was a negative moment in my life. I had plenty resistance and insistence. Now i know. I got way much more out of this. Why do i dwell on that. I'm not sure. Maybe it's my gut instint telling me to move on. 

It could be that. Or that ego mind wanting to take the reins again. It does feel comfortbale that way but look at the synchronicity i experience. It's so much way much into this. If ego took control, it becomes drab. 

But when i let go of the reins, things are way different. It is better than i have anticipated. I had no idea it can unfold in this way. And now you know. I can get me someone who's more sensitive.

This isnt? It's not there. Or not that i know of. Simply open up and see how this is relevant. You just gotta see how it goes works out. It doesnt have to be breakfast. They have someone doing that. 

Now you know. Now you get it. It all works out the same. And you get something in the process. You see more of who you truly are. This is the gift. Not people dont get that part. They simply wants to change things up not seeing getting how it's connected. That's what is different here.

I trust the timing. How do i get into that then. You see how this works out. She got the raw end of th estic having given up everything. I lost everything there but got way more precious in that way. I think i can live with this.

good vs better paradox

 grocery is after work. That means i'm fasting until then. It's the same energy, different filters. I dont have to talk about the things that kept me up last night. It doesnt concern her. It's my issue.

This is part of my process. If there was one thing i can do consistently well, it's LAO--let go, allow, open to synchronicity. It's like three things, but when you zoom out, it's the same one thing. This keeps me on an even keel.

The ego wants certainty. It doesnt care much for the unknown. If i choose that path, divorce, it's a lot of certainty but it's still the unknown. That's the paradox. And it's the same with staying and working on the relationship. There's plenty unknown, but there is a hint of certainty to it.

When you see paradox, as bashar said, you are at the center of your being...or something like that. I stay here then. Not that it is safe, but because it is what i prefer. It's great in bed. I like it.

And we sing a lot. I am injured but i am able to take a break. And i discovered tennis. I love it. I should have done this earlier, but like aikido, it doesnt matter. I can do this for ten years. I have been injured because i was careless. Lesson learned.

I cant change the past. Not that she's safe but it's the same with everyone else anyway. If i get careless or not care much, then it goes. But i did care back then. She still chose to go down that path. If so, it is a process you had to go through. 

That gives it purpose. That turns it into a positive for me. Or at least i get to open up to synchronicity knowing that it's part of the process. I can work with this energy. I am curious about how this turns out. As it is, here and now, i am open and quite excited about what's going on.

I learned much about my self. This is ok. This is key. I am expanding in this direction. No food until grocery time. Or i can skip meals until we get to canberra, or something like it. I regret that i broke my fast last night with one hour to go. 

I do this. I write. The sex is great. Is it really? It's me that's making things complicated. But then again, she's open to the idea. I can work with that. I must have hurt you, and i am aware of that now. If you give me a chance, i'd be more sensitive this time.

If not, then i'll let it go. Not everyone is perfect. I can work with that. There are other things we can do. I can work with that. I repeat my self. That's part of my process. I dont want to go there. I can watch her do wall practice, but i want options. 

I am not leaving her alone. I can walk around on there. But i need to rest this butt from now on. I needs to finish these now. It's not a long way to go. I am halfway through. She be working. Not sure i can head out do anything. We grocery around lunch perhaps.

She asked to do wall practice but when i told her i cant walk dog, she changed her mind. The issue is with me. I am aware of that. I do autophagy fasts. It's not just not eating 24 hours, but going for three days.

That's when it kicks in. Mostly it's after the first day. I can work with that. I can eat tomorrow once we reach canberra. In the meantime, i can get food for the trip or something like that. This is my process then. Or i can skip and continue work next week.

She's on leave monday. That's a long stretch weekend. She leave again the friday after that. It's a lot but she's invested much into that career. At least you see how it all is.

Just do this, get to the other side. I can skip that. How come it's paused. We be headed out and she's watching that video. It's a lot different now. Why do i keep going back tothat. What do i get out of it. Control. Insistence. I see. I have it in my awareness. 

It's not the same. This is my process then. The sex is great. It can be better, but for now, i have it good. Would you leave good in the hopes of something better? If it were relevant, then that better would be here instead. But it's not. I have good. This is what's relevant. 

starting new channel

 i needs to put my copywriter hat back on. This is interesting. What am i selling? What service am i offering? That it is possible to start a small business buy and sell bitcoin. 

Correct that, dca bitcoin, short alts. Maybe this should be the title of my channel. Is there such a thing? I can get started with the channel name. It calls out the target audience. I build up from this, then sell to a wider audience.

I can swing that. I'll start withtechnical analysis, grow it from there. Do i need to show what the account is doing. I think he leaves for work soon. I can work on this. How often? It's based on the weekly chart, but latest dev like buyers off that support line is worth a publish. 

Any pullback and entry signal is worth an attention. I can build from that. I think i can do something on here. It doesnt have to be all serious and that. I can swing this and see what comes out the other end. I dont think i can change that over, but this seems to work.

It makes sense. Offer service. Soon as they start asking, i can will have the course ready. It can start with the basics, or build up from there. Does it work for you. It doesnt have to. You simply give them certainty. Its not the entry ...

Just do this, get to the other side. In the meantim, start shooting b-roll. I can auto-correct that but it doesnt resonate with me. Do something else. This is what it is about? Trust the timing. You know what all this is about.

It can be a vlog, but it is big fish small pond. It's about technical analysis based on price action. There be indicators as such, but it's to show volatility. It can be about entry points, but i can do without it. Now you have direction.

No need to force this. Simply get to the other side at each time moment. Does it will it show that. Start doing b-rolls. I can accumulate that. It is to show these things and get to the other side in this way. 

You dont need a big job for that. You simply trade get to the other side. I think she do wall practice. Im supposed to walk this dog. That's fine. It's time together anyway. Just do this get to the other sidei needs to put my copywriter hat back on. This is interesting. What am i selling? What service am i offering? That it is possible to start a small business buy and sell bitcoin. 

Correct that, dca bitcoin, short alts. Maybe this should be the title of my channel. Is there such a thing? I can get started with the channel name. It calls out the target audience. I build up from this, then sell to a wider audience.

I can swing that. I'll start withtechnical analysis, grow it from there. Do i need to show what the account is doing. I think he leaves for work soon. I can work on this. How often? It's based on the weekly chart, but latest dev like buyers off that support line is worth a publish. 

Any pullback and entry signal is worth an attention. I can build from that. I think i can do something on here. It doesnt have to be all serious and that. I can swing this and see what comes out the other end. I dont think i can change that over, but this seems to work.

It makes sense. Offer service. Soon as they start asking, i can will have the course ready. It can start with the basics, or build up from there. Does it work for you. It doesnt have to. You simply give them certainty. Its not the entry ...

Just do this, get to the other side. In the meantim, start shooting b-roll. I can auto-correct that but it doesnt resonate with me. Do something else. This is what it is about? Trust the timing. You know what all this is about.

It can be a vlog, but it is big fish small pond. It's about technical analysis based on price action. There be indicators as such, but it's to show volatility. It can be about entry points, but i can do without it. Now you have direction.

No need to force this. Simply get to the other side at each time moment. Does it will it show that. Start doing b-rolls. I can accumulate that. It is to show these things and get to the other side in this way. 

You dont need a big job for that. You simply trade get to the other side. I think she do wall practice. Im supposed to walk this dog. That's fine. It's time together anyway. Just do this get to the other side..

Do what works for you. I think the dot means repeat action. I can test it out, but it's not relevant at this time. I think this looks promising enough. I'll start making content today. I'll have my gopro with me everywhere i go, start shooting b-roll. 

This is what i do now.

one thing - instruction manual

 if one thing, do the instruction manual. This. Everything is inthat bag. No need to go this way and that. Just do this one thing.

And i can choose. I dont have to dwell on that. Being in that state, i learned something new. I looked around. It wasnt the only path available. I had choice. And i chose. I chose what i prefer. I fell asleep. That was a positive experience.

It's fourth day. I get through this and it's a step forward. Simply be doing this. Continue on to this. Christmas be different. Continue on. The channel, is it something that excites you? Or is it something based on others' expectations/perspectives.

Now you know. It is something to do. It is somewhat exciting having that and it's out there. It can be this or that. It's somewhat similar to this one. I can get something out of it. Third week i'm resting this one out. Whatever outcome i get sunday, i head out monday.

Ok. Let it go then. It's going to be a grind. Just let it go. I may not be able to play at that level, but now you know. Now you see. Give it time. I can explore the laravel path see how this works out. That's what i do this week.

If that were so, i think they've explored options on there. Or something else. These things break down and you need full-stack dev on this. Or at least someone who will work on this team. Explore this see how it works out. 

In the meantime, go for p-flavor. That is exciting for me. Go for that every two weeks. Is she headed there. It is a possibility. It's not what i prefer but i am open to synchronicity. If it happens, then it is connected and what's supposed to be here.

I get that. Now you know. It seems fake but that's ok. You bring to you all these things that are relevant. If it's here then there is something here for you.this is what i do here andnow. It can go this way or that. 

It's a monday. Trust the timing on this. It's a play on healing. I am invalidating this experience? I see that.trust the timing. You getwha...dog likes that but wasnt eating it? He is now. Things are different. Not the same river twice.

Just do this. Here and now. No need to dwell on the past. It doesnt work for me anymore. What do you get out of it. Can i ask that. Check back on your own experience. If that happened to you, what would you have done. 

I would have let go myself. Now you get it. Now you see. I can move on now. Is it something else. If not, then you have other things in the bag. But then again, this is in my reflection. 

I get that part. Curiousto see how this works out. You expand in this direction. Do i need this. Can i get me another one. I think you know what all this is about. It's not relevant in that way.

How to know it's different. You see the red from the blue. I'll get a haircut. The walls are up. The windows are open on this side. That's a lot already. Explore this. If it goes distant, then i move on. She'll lose so much more in that path. I have more to gain if but a positive experience.

Trust the synchronicity. It's all connected in this way. If she dont go we do a long road trip. That is more exciting. Besides, she's already notified them. It's the process that's unfolding now. 

I needs to plan something for christmas. Why not be open to synchronicity. If it happens then you'll know it's there. If not, then there is something here for you that's so much better. Why not expand on that. 

We can talk about it. I think it's just the wanting that's there. You see how this is connected. I can go plan something on here. People be out by then. I see how this can unfold. And it's all here and now. Trust the timing.

bored but allowing

 what's the thing here? I'm bored. I havent been doing runs for two weeks now. I pulled a gastroc muscle right side. I am on recovery mode. Trust the timing on this.

What to do later. She heads out for tennis. Give her space. I dont have to be there. She's out for me time. It's not the same river. I dont think she'd ever go back there, unless something moves her.

I guess there's plenty unknown, uncertainty moving forward. That's how the universe works. You get to learn more about yourself by going through to the unknown. I could have gone with ego, but then again, ego doesnt have all the answers. 

I chose to resonate with higher self. This is what's here, hence it's what is relevant for me my process destiny etc. I use up hte energy. Right now, i am on recovery mode. Leave it be. This is like exercising the soul spirit. I've been through my dark night of the soul.

I almost broke. I made it through? I think so. Or at least i think the worst is over. I am gunning for 30 days no triggers. That's how she calls it. I call it spiral into the dark side. But it did not resonate with her so we used triggers more.

Anyways, what's up for today. I am thinking of doing the channel, sell a course. I'd give them talks about this and that how to manage run the account building it up. They can learn more about it by watching more of the video.

But if they want a crash course, they pay for the course as production is part of it. It may be a series of videos that are specified to the email address only. I think it can ork in that way. I'm doing more into that.

Also shoot content about what i do in the day. I am looking into charts throughout the day. I have alerts in place. I've seen that video for a while. It got better. I be headed out next week, but i dont think i can play just yet.

I've seen this video before. I want to move on continue with my life. I think it's rather stable now. People have moved on and i'm still holding the bag. I can look into this anyway. I can check on that but then again it's not about this and that.

I dont think they'd let that happen but i get insights here and there. Now you know. I went out early. I think that was planned anyway and now you know. Now you get it. I learned more about my self that way. This is what's relevant. Am i headed into that again.

I know how to work with this energy. That was weird. It was off by one line. Now you fixed it. I dont want that job. It doesnt resonate with me. I would rather build in this direction. But you want certainty. That's what you sell. Now you know. You get it.

Let's move forward with this. Create content. Make the course. Sell it so it goes into play soon enough. You have enough out there that benefits from this. They are keen to find more about this. 

Now you get that. I practice that. It's more court play time i am moving into. This is what's here anyway. Just do this. Get to the other side. What comes here. I have this and see what happens. 

I am off by an inch. I getthat. I am recovery mode. I am recuperating. Trust the timing on this. You resonate already. You have integrated so much energy on this and made it positive. This is the process for me.

I have timing. This is about two lines to finish. I can work with that.this is what's here and now. You have this. Dog is bored, wants to head out. But it's raining. Light shower outside. I can do a quick walkabout with him.

I think we can do that. We heads out anyway and see what works out. It's okto be home this day. We can work something out tomorrow. And then sunday comes around. I am bored already. Two days and i get back on the saddle.

divorce ideas trashed

 i canceled divorce. It was ego self trying to control the outcome, with a big insistence to go with it.

If there was one thing, it'd be to let go of insistence, and just allow for things to fall into place. If it were to happen again, then it's there for a reason. Why did ego get the whole day like that. How to work this in my day.

Put it into your awareness. You can be more aware like this. Now you see how ego gets in the way. What can i do different next time. Get out more often. I have injury. This is ego doing so. Now you know. You can work something now. What would it be.

You have this. I can get me a job. That gets me out of the house. Look into this. You know what all this is about. You were in that space. You made positive changes in that way. What comes next. 

You get to the other side. At times it just doesnt make sense. I had a gameplan. Itwas working. But every three days things get out of control. I let go. Ihave choice. I can put this into my awareness. I can go back to bed at six, take a nap then up and go.

Sleep is important at this time. Also going out. You do something about it. For now, it's healing. Meditation, observing ego mind local mind in action. This is something i can do. Itis the awareness. It doesnt have to be in that perspective. You are aware of that.

This is a mess i'm in. Start shining light on this. Do the youtube thing. Make a channel out of it. Do a vlog. Anything to get your mind working on something else. Get a job? That is something i can do myself. 

It changes a lot of things, but mostly, you still need to get out anyway. I would rather have my time than go there. I was doing ok until d-day. Now you get why this is so. I can fast.

So much to do anyway. Just do this. Trust the timing. It was that record. Now i can extend on that. Simply head out. You can resume startingmonday. I have two days on this. What's up with the space-bar.

It seems to be doing that. I miss tennis. I can work something out from there. Trust the timing. I may need one more week. It's pushing the envelope. But body needs one more week. 

What are my options on this. I think he is going to pee. I can change things. It might take a while to get there but i changed. I made changes in my life. This insistence will dissolve in the light of awareness.

Has she changed. She misses that, but it's not the same. Ican let go with that. Now you know. Now you see. It's like dog pooped. Record was four days. I can extend that. I can get her involved. 

Ligaw mode worked. Get back into it. But this time you have that. It's gotta be this way.let's get going. It's the weekend. She might have something in store for us. Idk. But i can work something out.

She's broke. And so am i. It's the ego mind this way. I can ride until this gets better again. Or get work as that sitting around the house in this way. It's a quick and dirty. You get how this works.

I can upload at any time. It's in the past and in a different country. But you can do something. You know how this works. Or do something different. I can do youtube. It takes a while to kick in. I need something asap.

Get a job in that way. You move in this direction. I can do tech support work or something similar. Is dog sleeping again? He slept on here. But she went to bed early. You get how that works but it was compartmentalised. What now.

health numbers within normal

 do i really want to be here. It's not about her anymore. No matter what happens, it's all on me. It's time to resonate. I dont need her to be my full self.

Can i move on from here. Why not. It's all about self anyway. I needs to keep writing. Writing here keeps me in alignment. Just do this. Get to the other side. She be working. She is at least keeping to her commitment. It's not conditions as the other couple calls it. I would rather have a commitment than conditions wich are subjective.

It's all subjective anyway. I can stop at any time that seems relevant. This is what's relevant for me. I write to connect. This keeps me in alignment. I dont have to dwell on that. Simply do this, get to other side.

I have four days till sunday. We can start training on monday, taking it easy on mornings. I dont think i'll be doing socials and classes for now, or at least another week or two. Just do this. This is in alignment and relevant for me.

I wwrites much. Rain is expected tonight. I gave her a choice. She chose tonight than afternoon rain. That's good for me. Things ease up next month. I can work on this moving forward. I dont think that works, but that's relevant for them. 

What comes next. Simply getto the other side. Just do this. Finish up. She's headed for tennis classes. I stays home get my butt injury healed. It's a pulled muscle. I over-exerted myself. Lesson learned. How to get around this next.

Simply go easy. Habit. That works out. What are mine. Not sure. Just do this. I prefer to write on this. Soon as she leaves i start training on here. That's two hours of tennis drills. I work on backhand, forehand and serve. 

That's more than enough. Normalised my blood sugar level, pancreas work through fasting. Blood cholesterols are at normal levels as well. Blood pressure though is up there. I am taking meds for it. I get going again headed into christmas.

What comes next. Simply do this. Get to the other side. I think she accepted and that was for show. But you get the point. I think she is there commited. What comes next. It sits in the box. Does it matter. I think so. We did so in front of the kids. She accepted.

That's a commitment that matters most. If she wasnt serious about it then dont accept. But then again, you get the point. It's not relevant. You know what to do from here. You resonate. You build up work on self. You know what to do on here.

Do i need a channel for that. I'm not sure. That opens up a can of worms. I dont want to go there. What can i do about it. I think we needs to schedule a date or so. When would that be. Tennis is part of it. Get to the other side on this.

You know what to do. Soon as we have that going. I can build up on that get to the other side. You know what you are doing here. Just do this. I dont think that matters on there but you get the idea.

I build up from this. The shorts are to make sure there be buffer for that. Otherwise, you build up as it goes in every which way. You get the idea. What comes next. Simply finish up. You have therapy? Not quite. It's more like a process for me.

If so, i dont need that one. I have all this in place. They have my papers and test results. I simply do the waitlist sit this one out. Soon as it becomes relevant, they gives me a call. What comes next. You do the instruction manual.

It's like this and finish up on this. I dont have to go on there. Just do this. Is it about family or something else. Not sure if that was clear, but it is. Otherwise, it would have been something else. You get the point.

I dont have to explain that. Just do this get to the other side. Is there a show you want to see. I can do home alone. That's been a good movie on christmas for me. Or otherwise. You get the idea. I think you have much time to play with it later. Trust the timing.

bridges of madison county

 should i go see the movie? It's a story. It could be the story she resonates with. The last time i saw her watch that was between all shit hit the fan. 

I think i be watching that tonight. Not to spite her, but to understand how the story ends. Should i go see it now. I needs to go to work. I be doing this now--work on my self. It's no longer about her. 

At least i see how this story works out. That was what the pained expression was about. She was about to come out. She removed the movie from the list. Now i get it. Now i see it. Do i stay at home. That messes up the gameplan. Go see it tonight.

She comes home from dinner and i'd be getting ready to go see it. If she reacts, then we know, get some information. But it's not to spite, but to shed more light. I think i see this. I want to see how the story ends. If she opens up about it, then well and good. If not, i get to see how the story ends.

I thin it resonates with her, that story. It was an idea that came into me. I explored and i think i may have something on here. She has a lot of secrets. I dont have to know all of these. Maybe from this perspective, i get to see how this story unfolds.

I am getting triggered though. At least i am writing about this. It's not done yet, but i am done on that side of the fence. There is so much awareness into this. I can watch it from my pc. Or not. Make it known that i am aware of this. I want to see how the story ends.

If it's not over, then i dont know. We'll see how it works out. I think she resonated with that story. But it is a work day. She needs to concentrate on work. We can talk about it later if she is up to it, or not. But i am done with that part of the story.

I am looking to how this story ends. Maybe it sheds light on everything else. I never did like it. Why did she have to live that story. I dont know. It's her process. This is my process. How does mine end?

That's the point to all this then. I think i'll get answers with that movie tonight. I would rather read the book, but i dont have access to that right now. Finish up and see how this connects for you. Then we can continue on. Finish up then i can go.

Not quite just yet. It's too early. I'd be sitting around doing nothing when i get there. I would rather do something else. I works late. So be it. I used to do runs this way and it worked for me. Soon as things get busy, i be doing more of this.

Or not. At least you see how this all works out. She be working anyway. I think she's done with that story. Move on to the next one. I see how that is. She has a lot of secrets. I dont think she be open to sharing them. So be it. This is my story then.

I too have my own secrets. But i am an open book anyway. Just sit this one out. Observe. You get what this is about. Do i want to go out. I need to get some exercise already. We have a long weekend coming up. Simply do this. Journal. This helps. I connect to source this way.

I think this was missing the past few weeks. This i get insights and connect. This is why i write. I'm not sure how that works out but i'm not in a condition to write about these things. Is there a love story for me. Idk. I am open to synchronicity.

If it were relevant, i'd have my love story. Maybe it is unfolding now. Just be open. Let the timing come of itself. You know how all this works. Trust the timing. You get to see the reflection. You have been positive all throughout. See how this unfolds.

It is all connected in this way. It makes sense now. Why did it had to go through that. At least it makes sense to see how this ends. Then i go see it tonight. If i get a reaction on that, so be it. At least i get my answers.

Or not. See how this unfolds. If not, i think she was preparing her self for the shit show that was about to come. That's why she had to see it one last time. It was in the library, but then it's gone now. I be added it and see it tonight.

5 month waitlist

 it's not for me, nor about me now. I've expanded, accelerated. Not the same river twice. I got something out of the experience.

What is it this time. You see how it's all connected. Hence it's neither positive or negative, but how you put meaning into it. I writes. I have time anyway.

Time flows through you. I am still on break. I use this situation. It's what is relevant. It's what is here and now. I trust the synchronicity in my life then. This is all connected. Do i want to travel there. 

I think so. It's here and now. You know what this is all about anyway. I can see things not apparent to the naked eye. Stay in the comfort zone doesnt show more of who i am anyway. I can work this week. But it is best to rest this out until the end of the week.

It's shown improvement. It still has dull pain to it, but it seems less this time. What is she doing that's taking too long. There is something missing in that equation. Is it really different this time? 

I dont have to change her. I can only change myself. I have these resources anyway. I have synchronicity. This is not apparent as well. It's what makes it different. I have this. Do i want to continue with tennis. It is interesting. I can stay here for now.

Plenty resources anyway. You get to see things not apparent in this way. You know how all this works out. Trust the timing in this way. You are a gem. Dont you forget that. It doesnt matter what they did. It doesnt affect you unless you say it is so.

Now you know how to use this energy. It's different now. I am zoomed in and this is part of the context. It's not the same anyway. You know how to work with this. The weather is different anyway. It rained yesterday but it wasnt much.

It isnt much for tennis, but then again, i have the upper hand on here. I see how this goes. Verify dont trust. Given this context, i dont even have to verify. I can collect evidence. Aha. This is way much easier then.

What comes next. Is this positive or negative synchronicity. It's neither. It is meaningless, neutral. It doesnt come with built-in meaning. You decide, choose what meaning is in there. Now you see how this is context for you. 

But then again, you still have this. Now you see how this works out. I can skip that and still get connection in this way. Trust the timing. You know what all this is about. Let's move on now.

You can be this way or that. It's not about me anyway. You get what all this is about. You are moving forward with this. Give it time. Choose your thoughts. Put it in your awareness. I dont have to dwell on these things. It's this and that anyway.

Let's see how all this works out. Trust the timing on this one. You get how this will come out anyway. It flows through you. I drives the son to work then come back wait this one out. I can do the laundry anyway. This is what's relevant.

I go in this direction. Why is it like that. Not really sure. It's not the same boat. Then i can work something out. Is it headed in that direction. I'm not sure. But you can work this way and that. You get how this works anyway.

Now i can choose my thoughts. I dont have to dwell on that. I choose my thoughts. I choose to explore what's in there generating reflecting the energy emotion. This is what i got out of it. It's not apparent or obvious on the outside but it's a lot.

You get this. I can go this way and that. You see how this works out. I can do something about it in every way. You beat fed. That's much. I think you see how you can work something out on here. I dont have to go there. Just go one level up is more than enough.

process i go through

 i'm recharging my phone. I thought it was full charge last night. This morning it was half. It's off and recharging. I give her time space while kids are here.

One more week on this. It's not a mess, but a process i need to go through. This is good platform to test out my synchronicity tools. Now you have it. You see it. It's not common for everyone to be in this space.

I am so positive i go through this process. I get tired i needs ot recharge. How to do that. You have it in you anyway. Trust the timing. Simply go through all that. What are my options on here. Simply be open. You know what to do.

Finish these up and by that time battery be recharged and good to go. It's only a few more. By eleven i go and it's pump time grind this one out. I think they went to off leash and driving lessons on there. 

Now you know. I leaves in a moment then. Trust the timing in your life. It's all connected in this way. What are my other options on here. I think you see how this works out. What else is there. Is it something else then. Are there any options to get this sorted.

I dont know. For now, you go with what works. There has to be a better way to do these things. Just get to the other side on this. I do yoga later when i get back home. Give her time. Her me time is tennis, time with her friends. Ok. I get that. I give her space then. I spend time as well. 

You get how all this works out. This is a process for me. Trust the synchronicity. If it's within that, i takes it. It dont matter much but you can revert back to this. Or i can simply go up and down south melb to cbd. That works out just perfect.

I think you get how that works. Let's get going. It's those towers that i cater to. And then you expand in every which way. Is this part of that equation. I starts over. This time, it's not the same. I have synchronicity working for me. I dont have lock to door. 

How to move on from here. I think you see how this works out. Let's do somtehing else when you there. This is how it's connected. What are my other options. Trust the timing. I can finish later. Or do something. They be ok without you. That's the point to all this.

It's the process i have. I am rushing through this. I see that now. I think you can work something out in the meantime. You get how all this is connected. I dont think they have that but you get what all this is about.

She's stretched out on time and work. That's the space i give her. I trust the synchronicity in my life. I am part of her todo list. Just leave this be. It's all connected anyway. I dont know how. Just do this then. I am sour about that. But i needs to let go unconditionally.

And then doors open up. You'll know what to do about this. I am sour about that. It's the prime but then again, you get how all that works out. I am sour about that. I sense that. I put it in my awareness this way. I dissorves it. It doesnt have to go there.

And that was good yesterday what you did. Trust the timing in your life. You move on this way and that. It could have been better. Or not. Just do this. What comes next. You get to the other side. I can leave but there is no door lock. I think it's ok just to bealve in so.

That where did that come from. I finish these then continue on. At times it comes one after the other. Other times, it doesnt. I think payday happened recently. I need to pay attention to that.

If it were otherwise, what comes of it. I'm not sure. Just do this get to the other side. Finish up then continue on. You wouldnt get there. It's not here so it's not relevant. Trust that what is relevant will be there. It's all connected in this way. 

I think you see how all this works out. You were here. This is the process you need to go through. I can choose. It's this and that. Now you get it. It's done. You move on to the next anyway. But it's different. It's not the same. You get how this works out.