i have so much negative in me. Sit this through. Love is unconditional. She is here to show you more of who you are. You invalidate. You have insistence on what this should be.
This was a gift for you. What if this happens again. She loved him, more than she loved me. Six years of that. She would have left me if it were not for the kids. If it were not for social norms.
You are hurt. Who do you love in this instance? Bitcoin is down. I have chicken little. I need space more time. I dont believe that. There's news coming out tonight. Give it time. They are going to separate. I was that scumbag. But she loved him. She loves him more than she loved you.
She's not mine. Never had been. Just integrate. Do one thing different. You do not have to change the past. I can move on to the next one. If she is spiritually mature, it can go any ways both ways.
You dont control that. Control is not part of the equation. Simply move on to the enxt one. This is balancing. This is opportunity for you to integrate. You wanted something big to integrate. Here it is. But how do i know she loves me.
I cant put that there. It has to come from her. Is that immaturity. If so, move on. Just move on. I am fasted. The clarity be there. Trust the synchronicity. It has to come from her. That's what you are looking for.
Six years she wasnt there. What prompted her to do that. It could have been anyone. I was open. If she wanted to have sex, she can, could. I cant stop her. The only condition was that you not hide it from me.
But she did. That's in the past. What else is there to hide? It's not the hiding...it's that she loved him and not you. She loves him still. She mourns that it's ended. She mourns what could have been.
They get together again, then i go on to the next phase. I simply move out. It's up to son if he wants to go with me or her. All that time, all this time, she loved him. This is the neg in me.
Now that you see it, now what. I dont want to be one-sided. If she dont love me then so be it. Canwe be together withoutthe love? No. I love her. I cannot be not in love withher.
If so, then love. It doesnt have to be reciprocated back. Love because it is the greatest thing in the world. Love them all. Embrace this situation because it is what needs to be here. Do not invalidate.
What then. Put this in your awareness for now. Just be. I made it through yesterday. I am fasted today. Go fasted. Do the whole weekend fasted. That's three days. Come back for air on sunday night with that fish.
It's not the same river. She had more fun with him. She did not open this up because fear. I choose not to. This is going to eat you up. See how the other side has zero awareness to it. This will eat you up. Put it in your awareness.
You do not have to process all this. She blames her, i blame him. But there is nothing to blame. This was here for a reason. Now you use it or not. It's a gift. You use it for what it is, then you get something out of it.
Even just putting it in your awareness means a lot. But she lied to me. All this time she lied to me. She can lie to me then at any time she wishes to not tell me the truth. She lied because you cant handle the truth.
I can. I've been telling her so all this time. But she chose to not tell you the truth. Simply move on. Spend less time with her. Give it time. I dont want to be here. Put it in your awareness for now. Just be in the moment.
