day off dreading

it feels like i'm spending my day off dreading the time i go back to work. There is a better way to do this. I don't enjoy that. Then the definition source code is off.

What can i do to change this? I'm not sure. They all died off one by one. HOw can you write about it then? It was shallow. Even my kids didn't enjoy it. HOw could you have made it different? Talk about the jedi academy. Talk about something else.

They were meaning to put in new things when this one couldn't even hold water. Next time i know better. These last two i was tricked into it. Next time i'll read trailers. What the heck. Why didn't i ask around. Next time i will. I was shutting out opinion then. I know different.

What to write about? It's not what you write but writing what comes to you. There is a difference there. I feel great once shift is done. HOw do i shift into a different reality? You already know the answer. Go within. It's not what's on the outside but who you are inside. It's how you respond to what is.

Right now you dread going there. HOw can you rearrange that? I'm not sure yet. Things are going to shift again come new year. What else can you do about this. I can am shifting my response. I have shifted. It's already different. I am more at balance this time. It's both this and that and the same stick anyway.

Th eresponse is different. So now, i am only using up the energy. At least it's moving forward this way. What's next? You pay some bills. I still needs a tablet. But how when where can i read? Plenty out there. You'll find it anyway. Do you really need one?

You don't even read much. Sure i can. I may need to go to the toilet again. I can clean that before i shower. Do i shower today? Not much to do here. It's going to be cool temp if you shower. HOw come it was too hot in the cinema? Surely it wasn't just the clothes i was wearing. It was warm.

The kids said no. I guess it is the shirt. Next time it comes out, it'll be dead of winter. My head is looking for an excuse not to finish. Go to toilet. I can do that now or later. I can take a nap anyway. HE didn't show up. That was a let down. HE could have simply said no.

I guess he's still not over the trauma. I guess so. What else can i do about it? Simply get to the other side. You know the drill. I can go there and find work in there. You do that. What's that noise. Is something on? I don't think so.

Just write. Then one of these days, something pops up and you can explore that world. You get an idea and you explore that. Then you can write more about it. That looks hot right there. I was too idealistic. I can do something else in here. I think so too. Now what happens?

I'm not sure. Just finish writing. You can toilet later. What else can we do in here. I don't want to sit here dread that time. You can. Use up the energy. You can write about it. What does this character dread so much? It was in the past. It's the past and the future. In the meantime, he is missing out on the present.

That's a cool idea. HOw does he...where does it change for him? What's the turning point? HE sees what he's doing. Soon as he is aware, he can change it or let go. Better yet he can simply be aware and allow for it to be there. That's when the anxiety loses its grip?

Not quite. At least you are aware of it. That's big. Soon as you see it, that thing loses its grip on you. At least it's now a choice that you stay on this. Do they even read the reviews? I would. Then you can see what else is there. Then people crowd over and see what's in there.

What are wife and kids doing there? I'm not sure. I have it still. No need to fight it. What is that noise. Where is it coming from. I can go out for a run. That be fun. I can do so now after i finish these. The sun don't set until nine anyway. It'll be a cool run for you.

I've been steady with this. I have more than enough food anyway. I can make eggs and have that later. But i'm not hungry here. You have plenty of energy to work on. People were expecting that. They didn't play on that well. Why can't they make it right?

They have expectations. Why not write up a fan version of it. You can do that. I've done that before. Then you can put it out there when you publish. I will go take a nap as well. Did i brush my teeth already? I don't think so. What happened there? I'm not sure. It was too much for him.

Maybe there is sometihng here that i can do. What would that be? It's time to move forward. My response is already different. This is echo. I have changed anyway. It happens from the inside and moves forward from there. Anything else that you can do?

I'm not sure. It's only this anyway. Soon as it gets here i can have a look. I'll ask around later and see how it goes. I'm not sure what happened there but i finish early on wed? I think so. I can have a look at my schedule. It's a new year then. Good luck with that.

Are people still out? Will i be able to avail of it? I'll have a look at it. I travel earlier than usual. I can take that bus. It gets me there on time. Let's get going then. What else am i doing here? I don't know. I can ask around. At least it's this way.

It's the structurei don't want. What would the story be about? HOw thii guy changed from the inside even if the outside were solid. Then the circumstance has changed. Synchronicity was there all along. It don't matter if it were boring. Simply write about it. HOw did it happen. What made it happen?

HE simply changed from the inside. Everything about it that's on the inside he chose to change it. Didn't matter what was happening on the outside, he is changing things anyway. You get these and you can change your response to it. I see what you mean there.

Now that you see it, you have already changed it. You changed the energy. This is why it's here. I don't have to recharge later. What do you do tomorrow? Spend time with these two. I can do that. I like having conversations with them. This is day four.

That's interesting. HOw do you get more to the other side? I don't know. Simply go to bed and then wake up. This is what you do. You simply change up the response. I can go to the city and sit in the library. That's what i've always wanted to do.

I can get another gig. That too is interesting and is valid. Or do something else that lets you move around. You like that. You travel much and you talk to people. It's their response. You feel disconnected. I did. I see it now. You are connected. This is connected. It connects to who you are. You get something out of it.

HOw? You see the disconnection and you think you have to make things happen. That's one perspective. You can do it that way but there's a better way. You are connected. It's not faith or hope, it's knowing. It's solid. You can use it in any way you choose. It's all up to you.

It' not a vague idea that's out there.