it's not real. The life i live with her isnt real. It's all fake. Even today after all that we've been through, it's still not real.
Is it because she couldnt be true to herself? Maybe she cant accept who she is without all the worldly goods. It's what i see in the reflection. Is leaving going to fix anything. Blink it will.
That's the quick answer. But if i were to slow think everything, it's going to go around in circles. Now you see. Do you need access to that. It's for collecting information. Other than that, it is time to move on. Let's continue on.
You'll know what to do when you get there. For now, trust that this is what needs to be here. Stay for one more year. But i can move out soon enough. Then do that. Do this. What are my other options.
You dont needoptions. Your next move is to move out. Trust that this is what's goodfor you -- hence it's what everyone else needs to transform. It's a disconnect anyway. Why not make yourself right.
Right yourself. That's the point. It wasnt real then. Only i made it real myself. Trust that this is so. Build on this. Next step is to find a room to rent. Go this way. Trust that this is so. When do you move out.
Soon as i find me a room and make thedeposit. You will have a lot to process. Let it be so. It's the price you pay anyway. You can build in this direction. I dont think you'll need that.
You be ok all this time. Trust that this is connected in every way. If you were toinvest that, you get better returns. It is the security illusion thats there .ti is all an illusion.
Now you know. Let's get going. I have a commute there. I have much in this way. Trust that this is where you needed to be. Right yourself. That's the point. If she dontget it, i dont know what to make out of it.
Butit's not real. And i cantbe here. I dont want to spend another minute with you. You created all that shit. You had choice every step of the way. Now you live with it. I dont have to be here.
It's sad it hadto be this way but learning all about that is what made it sad. Just get on with your life. Maybe somethingwill come out of this. Idk. But i know that it'll be betterbecause i made it so.
Tennis, there's tennis courts all over the world. Which one is the better? Even in the philippines is ok. It's the traffic you go through. And that's ok. I can make something out of this anyway.
Just do this. Get to the other side. It's not shame who i am. I am ashamed of who she is, what she did. Am i judging. It just got real. I'm not stupid. I know things. If you dont talk to me about thiscome clean, you wont have me in your life.
So be it. This is what needs to happen. Let's get a move on. I couldnt heal, choose notto because iwantedcontrol. Now you see. It's not thesame. Now you know what's here for you.
What are my options here. Do i want to go that way. Finish this then you'll figure out what to do next. Ok. Get it over and done with. It's not big but it is enough. It is more than enough.
You have path to go through. You have this much to process through you. Let it be. Sit through this storm and you discover more of yourself. This is what's essential. Let's get going.
